this suxx so much!!!

[Birdman]

Im one of those people that didnt have social anxiety that bad until about a year ago. before that i can actually socialize without thinking the world is going to end!!!!!!! So if you were just shy before and developed SAD afterwards then you know how i feel.

so i was reading my messages from myspace from right before i got SA really bad. :::: ::::

i was talking to people having great conversations....never took anything too seriosly that was said towards me.multiple conversations with girls...having so much fun..my myspace title was "Living the good life" haha...now its the complete opposite.... I just dont know how everything could change just like that....crying while typing this message.

WE are not supposed to live a life like this. Compared to when i was just shy SAD is ****in horrible. Why dont they have something out there to fix this. I cant imagine how people without SAD and people that arent shy live there life...they must be so lucky and happy....i just wish....one day i wake up and its gone...but it wont happen...

im not gay i just have Social anxiety. I love girls..everything about them. their lips, their breast, how unique all of them are. i just have a hard time talking to people. im afraid im gonna end up alone when i grow up..but im such a good person at heart. thats what people dont see and for some reason in this world are not attracted to....i guess im gonna try being a bad person and lie to everyone and see how things go cuz i have tried alot of things medication, alcohol, rationalizing, but none work...

 

[SickJoke]

I love girls..everything about them. their lips, their breast

OK now we're getting somewhere. Just focus on their lips and breasts during the conversation, and your brain will be too busy to feel anxious.

 

[danstelter]

i guess im gonna try being a bad person and lie to everyone and see how things go cuz i have tried alot of things medication, alcohol, rationalizing, but none work...

Bad idea, I would strongly recommend that you do not do it - it will only lead to more harm than good.

How do you break out of it? What is the solution? The solution is different for everyone. But for me, that means that I engage in regular exercise, eat a healthy non-anxiety producing diet, get regular and quality sleep, take a small dose of medication, talked to a counselor for a while in the past, and have supportive friends to rely on when I'm struggling. I just kept at it for a period of several years, and finally I realized that I was at the point where anxiety wasn't running my life anymore. I was running my life and enjoyed it! Basically, I learned that every action that I took could either create more anxiety or reduce anxiety, and I learned to live in ways that reduce anxiety on a 24/7 basis. Recovering works different for everyone, but I now have a stable relationship, a good job, am doing well in school, and most often feel relaxed and happy, rather than anxious and stressed.

If you need help, just ask questions about where to start to people on this forum, or myself. I plan on being a career social worker, so I'm more than willing to help Good luck to you in whatever choices you decide to make!

 

[Perfidion]

OK now we're getting somewhere. Just focus on their lips and breasts during the conversation, and your brain will be too busy to feel anxious.

Other parts of his anatomy will also be "busy", so I suggest wearing baggy pants. Or putting a cushion in his lap.

 

[DaaaBulls]

Dude you sound exactly like me. I used to be waay more social in higschool, granted I was still shy at times but I didn't give two shits about what people thought about me and I was energetic and girls were interested in me.

Fastforwarding to now, I'm 22 and my anxiety is at times out of control. It feels like I am a statue and cannot move when I am around girls. It's crazy to think of how many girls I have missed out on because of this anxiety. I believe that we are born with these genes and either something triggers it or it just developes at a certain stage in our lives. My father has social anxiety as well so I believe genes have a large part of it. Having said that it should make you feel better that it is not your fault. Some people are just born with outgoing and personable genes while we aren't.

All I can say is to hang in there and try and improve yourself each and every day. Keep working at the anxiety and keep putting yourself in situations where you get it because over time I have to believe that exposure will eventually lead to less and less anxiety until it goes away or we are not aware of it anymore. For now my goal is to just slow down in certain situations. Gather my thoughts and proceed with people instead of constantly searching for the next thing to say or action to take.

Do you think that people can see how tense our body language is? I mean I see this older man at my health club where I work and he walks like a cardboard box, picture the tin man and he says hello really quickly and looks away and walks away. I want to hope that mine isn't this bad...yet. In these situations I try to just slow down and let the other person take the lead and kind of relax into the conversation or situation.

Don't think that everyone has it good. Even the people who don't have anxiety have other problems. This guy I work with has no anxiety at all. Can talk to any of the adult guests or younger kids with ease but he is over weight and I'm sure has some other issues. It's just how you look at it. You can look at like I have more to offer once someone gets to know me, which I think is the case for everyone on here or you can look at like I have anxiety and I am worthless. I want to think, actually I know that I have a lot to offer whether it is a sense of humor, individuality, etc and the anxiety is just the outer shell and once someone gets to know me/us they will see this.