This sucks

[DaaaBulls]

What is it about people that scare us so much? I can't even talk to someone without my heart starting to race and my voice being trembely. I mean I have been working at my work now for around 7 months and I still can't talk to the people there without these symptons. Granted it is much better than before but what the hell is it? This anxiety is making me so frustrated. I am no longer depressed because of the medication I am on but this anxiety thing is just crazy. I have a feeling it is some how connected with hyperhidrosis mentally but still I can't figure out a way to move past the anxiety. I have been trying and I guess I will continue to.

 

[Riptor]

Don't mind me, just relatin'.

Everyone at my work has given up on me. At first they thought I'd come around, but I've been there a year and not had a conversation more than a few sentences with anybody. Sucks because I have initiate to get anyone to talk to me now, and that's twice as hard.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Yeah, it's sort of like in stages.

"Oh, he's shy, how cute."

"Aww, he takes a while to open up, but I'll get him!"

"Hmm, he's always tense, a little strange."

"Maybe he doesn't like me/us, kind of a stuck up person."

"Maybe something is wrong with him"

"Oh well, I just won't associate or try to get to know him"

Loner mission fully accomplished.

*sigh*

Oh well, life goes on.

 

[DaaaBulls]

Lol what you guys are describing is exactly me, especially you powerfulthoughts. I'm guessing your talking about a girl at your work? Dude that sounds exactly like my situation. Good looking girl, me the new guy. She tries to innitiate everything. She even comes looking for me a few times because she "needs help" but no one aside from her ever does that. It got to the point that I really felt like she started to despise me because I couldn't talk to her. It got so bad that we didn't even acknowledge each other. I said something about it and now she is trying to talk to me again but it's just the same old shit all over again. I swear I have bipolar. Sometimes I can talk, then sometimes it's impossible.

 

[Satine]

Aye, I can relate to that one DaaaBulls. I don't get it any more but I used to. It was like every time I met anyone at all, I was meeting the queen and had to be on my best behaviour, which I already knew wouldn't be good enough. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Could it be that you're placing too much importance on other people? Just remember that they're only people, and that they eat, shit and sleep just like you do, and (without doubt) have embarrassing stuff in their past, and keep secrets, and all of that. Nobody is better than you. Or worse. And you blend into that more than you may think. Keep that in your mind, see if you can internalise it.

To tell you a small story, I once bought a necklace (or something similar) from a clothes shop not far from where I now work. At the time I was still very jumpy around people, just like you described. The shopkeeper was well into his 30's, a bit portly and, although not unkind, seemed unconcerned and detatched. At ease, I suppose.

All I had was £20, which was far more than the necklace cost, so when I handed it over I said, "sorry I haven't got anything smaller! Ha ha!" and without missing a beat, or raising his eyebrows at me, or making anything 'big' of what I'd just said, replied, "sorry I haven't got anything smaller," as he handed me my change and necklace in a bag.

I walked away somehow richer for that and I've never been all that sure why. I think it reminded me that another person could be unfazed whether I felt tense or not, so I might as well just not be tense. That's easier said than done, but that shopkeeper's always come to me when I feel tense when meeting another person.