This is important! Pls comment

[decadent88]

Hey guys, as y'all know I have SA. Recently I have developed a very annoying and destructive trait.

I BRING HOME MY WORRIES!

For example: If I get into a sticky situation in college that involves my self-esteem (eg. bullying.. etc) or if I get embarrassed at a friends house or a party, I bring home all the agitation and dissatisfaction with me and dwell on them till my brain hurts!

I tried all relaxation techniques (breathing, meditation, self hypnotism.. etc) nothing lasts!

Even if I relax, sleep... they just shift into background momentarily and then come back with full force.

THIS IS EATING AWAY MY LIFE!!! Even the most peaceful moment in the safest place has now become dreadful! ::

I can now have no time to myself, my thoughts are always circling back to those negative moments and I am always irritated, annoyed and depressed. My loved ones are hurting becoz of this!

If anyone can relate to this or have suggestions, pls help!! I cannot cope with this alone and it has driven my life into a nightmare. I can't how much longer I can take this!

Please don't ignore this thread if you have something, anything to suggest!

Thanx!

 

[¯\(º_o)/¯]

Im sorry your going threw this, I was just like this at one point in life. Constantly over thinking everything I did, even thing I did months or years ago, has alot of anxiety issues over it.

Is what I did is, as soon as a thought like that came along I would instantly tell mayself "oh well" and think of something good. Its hard at first because you will still try a dwell on the bad thing, you have just got to keep telling yourself it doesn't matter. Eventually you will believe your self and you will soon be able to blow off all the stupid little things

I wish you well, and hope to see you beat this problem
Good luck

 

[decadent88]

Thank u 4 ur suggestion. I have tried what u said already. But at that point nothing FEELS good anymore! The anxiety becomes so overwhelming! I cant describe... I think of something positive, i try 2 relax... Then all those thoughts come back in torrents! They never go away, they always linger. Anyway, i will try harder to follow ur suggestion. The fact that u have gotten over it gives me a bit of hope. Thanx again!

 

[Section_31]

I had this same thing happen when me at my previous job, but I was being bullied and harrassed daily to the point where i couldnt enjoy anything anymore. My wife even said i should leave because it was all i ever talked about. It took my doctor telling me that my health i shuold leave because my blood pressure was off the charts and it sholdnt be.

If it was work related i would say take a stress leave if you can. I unfortunately dont have a solution, but i can say i do understand what your going through. I feel for you. If i can think of anything i will be sure to mention it on here.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

About relaxation techniques and exercise - it takes time to work. It's not a quick-fix solution - takes time and consistent practice. That's when it started to work for me. Maybe you have I don't know. But I can definitely relate.

Even consider seeing school psychologist/counselor? Also do you get panic attacks?

 

[LifeInternal88]

Hey

I don't know if this will help. It helps me sometimes. It's reading. Something you can really get lost in and enjoy.

I know it's not a long-term solution.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

1) Realise that you can't get along with everybody and that some will be toxic for you. Like with anything toxic, you can either try and fix the situation or avoid it where possible. When you can't avoid it, then let what they say go in one ear and straight out the other (ie don't take to heart what they say).

2) There is not one person that doesn't embarrass themselves from time to time, you just have to admit to yourself that you screwed up and then laugh it off whatever way you can.

3) If you say something that you later regret, then realise that people forget quickly unless it is particularly important to them. You will hold on to it a lot longer than they will.

4) Thoughts are energy. When you have thoughts that you are dwelling on then you can release some of that energy by stamping your feet or moving your arms rapidly.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

i have that problem too sometimes. when i get embarrassed or pissed off or emotionally hurt or frustrated or whatever but if i just try to calm and forget about it or make light of it, it still worries me and i still feel like crap. i found the best way to deal with it is write it all down, no matter how hard it is for you. you can write it like it happened, or like you're explaining it to someone and how they made you feel. i feel this lets a lot of the anger and frustration out and i think about it less if i write it down. after writing you can just throw it out or something, no use for bad memories... also another thing is smiling. even if you're not happy and dont feel like smiling at, you still associate smiling with feeling good/happy, so it might help a bit, but definately not as effective as the writing.

 

[coyote]

i can relate - but i don't have any good answers, either

thankfully, due to ADD, i'm easily distracted and soon forget the things people have said or done to stress me out

"out of sight, out of mind" is not just an expression

for me, it's a way of life

 

[decadent88]

@ Coyote: Ahh... wish i had ADD!

@Aussie lad: Nice points. I like the 'energy' part specially... gonna try it out.

@scaredtobreathe: U r very true. The fact that right now i am writing down and I had written down all of these to let u guys know what I am going through is a good, if not great venting mechanism for me! but it's kinna temporary though..

@Lifeinternal: I used to read a lot, i mean A LOT, but recently have lost the habit... not enough patience I guess.

@Deus_Ex_Lemur: I sometimes have panic attacks,... yes. As for school/guidence counselor; we don't have those in here... lack of infrastructure I guess.

@LoneGunman: Thanx for ur support.


The fact that U guys are out there who feel for what I am going through kinda lights my heart up. Thank you! (sorry if I'm being too sappy! lol...)

 

[¯\(º_o)/¯]

Thank u 4 ur suggestion. I have tried what u said already. But at that point nothing FEELS good anymore! The anxiety becomes so overwhelming! I cant describe... I think of something positive, i try 2 relax... Then all those thoughts come back in torrents! They never go away, they always linger. Anyway, i will try harder to follow ur suggestion. The fact that u have gotten over it gives me a bit of hope. Thanx again!

The hard part your gonna have is finding something that feels good. That is up to you to decided it does, for me(and I can't really condone it as its un heathy) its either a juicy hamburger or a good fat steak, these food are instant good mood for me, but I am a little over weigh because of it, well kinda.

Its not the only thing that makes me feel good, nor is it soemthing I turn to when depressed, sorta. When i'm thinking of bad thing, I will focus on the last great steak I had and then I get hungry and start thinking abit food haha

I say to just keep a look out for something that put you in a better mood, and it doesn't need.to be the greatest thing, it just has to be better then what's keeping you down, eventually you will work out all the bad stuff

 

[LifeInternal88]

The hard part your gonna have is finding something that feels good. That is up to you to decided it does, for me(and I can't really condone it as its un heathy) its either a juicy hamburger or a good fat steak, these food are instant good mood for me, but I am a little over weigh because of it, well kinda.

mmm...Steak. I'm hungry.

Taking control of our thoughts is very important. Don't allow negative thoughts to harrass you. --You can try positive affirmations. Actually saying things out loud (even if it feels stupid at the time). I don't know if it works. John Kehoe has some interesting ideas on mind power.

This is from his website:

And when we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts we can use any of these techniques:

1.Change the negative thought into a positive one. For example, if you are worried and focusing on what could go wrong in a situation, change your thoughts to what could go right. The mind can only think one thought at a time; so changing the negative into a positive eliminates the negative.

2.Use an affirmation. Begin affirming to yourself something positive and self-supporting. The mind will focus on what you are repeating to yourself.

3.Use humour and fun. We get very serious and stressed when we’re thinking negative thoughts. Think of something funny to change the energy, or do something fun like going to a movie or having a night out with friends. Don’t let your negative thoughts have power over you. Be proactive in eliminating them.

4.Remind yourself that the negative thought you are thinking is “only a negative thought.” It has no power other than what you give it. Negatives gain momentum from your thinking them over and over again. So stop thinking them.

The key is to be diligent in monitoring what you are thinking, to catch the negatives before they have time to become entrenched. With practice you will notice right away when you are thinking negatives, and you then can take the appropriate actions. The mind is a creature of habit, so encourage positive thoughts and eliminate negative ones. You wouldn’t allow stinking garbage to build up in your house without taking action. Likewise don’t let negative thinking build up in the inner sanctuary of your mind. We are responsible for the thoughts we think. Take action to eliminate negative thinking.

 

[Panther]

yup im always dwelling on situations, but i always think this is silly that person will have forgot and wont be thinking about it and there is nothing you can do about it now you cant go back in time. So i just try and blank my mind, but something annoying always pops back up but as soon as it pops up just think well there is nothing i can do so theres no point wasting my time on it.

 

[decadent88]

@ Lifeinternal: "You wouldn’t allow stinking garbage to build up in your house without taking action"


Nice point. Really makes sense! Yeah my mind has become so 'fool' (lousy pun intended! ) of these 'garbage' it stinks bad! And my loved ones are suffering!...


@Panther: exactly this is what I'm going through! Annoying to the core! Isn't it? :x

@¯\(º_o)/¯: Haha.. yeah I know what you're talking about. For me it's my guitar. I grab it sometimes when I'm feeling like this to preoccupy my restless mind. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.