The root of your anxiety.

[DanielLewis]

There's a reason most of us don't socialize for 4 hours with strangers..it is because we have anxiety.

I know that, but if you were forced to do it anyway you would probably lose your SA. Your social skills would improve and you'd get pretty comfortable around strangers. It would be inevitable, but since most of us get very little exposure on a daily basis, it's no wonder we have SA.

 

[Zooman]

I know that, but if you were forced to do it anyway you would probably lose your SA. Your social skills would improve and you'd get pretty comfortable around strangers. It would be inevitable, but since most of us get very little exposure on a daily basis, it's no wonder we have SA.

Your wrong. I had a job for 9 months that required me to socialize for a lot longer than 4 hours everyday with strangers. You know what it did? Stressed me the **** out.

 

[SCP-087-1]

Your wrong. I had a job for 9 months that required me to socialize for a lot longer than 4 hours everyday with strangers. You know what it did? Stressed me the **** out.

I had a job where I had to deal with the public all day and it helped me a lot.

 

[Zooman]

I had a job where I had to deal with the public all day and it helped me a lot.

Interesting, what was the job if you don't mind me asking?

 

[SCP-087-1]

Working in a supermarket

 

[Zooman]

Working in a supermarket

Same. Apparently our experiences were much different.

 

[A86]

its easier to build a wooden boat if you have a lot of wood to begin with.

good intentions aside, sure you can force yourself to learn metalworking and build better, more sturdy and resilient steel boat for the harsh seas,
but depending on the learning experience and environment you could end up being either...
- great steel boat builder
or
- build a heavy steel blob that sinks straight away influencing you to take up building wooden boats again because at least they somewhat float.

Those aren't the only 2 choice though - its more of a scale and you could end up anywhere in between.

Thing is, there is too many influencing variables which in turn influence different boat builds so its nigh impossible to have any useful general purpose boat blueprint that can cover all aspects of every boat.

Understanding major influences to your own current and past boat designs helps heavily in preparing for your future desired design direction.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Mines a deadly combo of genetics, unsupportive/abusive family and relationships with low self esteem. Now I have severe depression and anxiety from a lifetime of being subjected to this. Also I live below the poverty line now for most of my life. That takes its toll too.

 

[Monkish1]

Genetics, little positive family or social support(like most of us), alcohol abuse in the family, isolation, and now a chronic pain condition I have to hide. I get worn down easily, or I might feel better by now. By far, the thing holding me back the most has been depression and the chronic pain.

Other than feeling crummy, I've had some advantages, and work hard, so with some relentless positivity, I might yet succeed. I mostly worry now about seeming inadequate in front of people at work, because I feel warped inside.

 

[Zooman]

Genetics, little positive family or social support(like most of us), alcohol abuse in the family, isolation, and now a chronic pain condition I have to hide. I get worn down easily, or I might feel better by now. By far, the thing holding me back the most has been depression and the chronic pain.

Other than feeling crummy, I've had some advantages, and work hard, so with some relentless positivity, I might yet succeed. I mostly worry now about seeming inadequate in front of people at work, because I feel warped inside.

Do you know what the chronic pain is? If you don't i suggest checking out ligament laxity and joint hypermobility syndrome. I believe they correlate with social anxiety and they cause chronic pain. I have it myself and because i sleep all day due to depression my muscles have atrophied and now my joint problems have become really bad. I am literally limping around the house these days at only 20 years old.

 

[pacman490]

My dad seems constantly nervous and worries about everything so that might be where I got it from

 

[Graeme1988]

Mine would probably my extremely sheltered and strict upbringing.

That coupled with being around a pretty dysfunctional, volatile, aggressive, intimidating, narcissistic, c*nty bunch of people - ie, my family.

Being raised by an irrational, bitter, controlling, emotional manipulative and verbally abusive woman who projected all her issues onto me. My dad wasn't around until adolescent, either, and I never had any positive male influence or father figure in my life.

 

[mixedupgirl]

Genetics partly but if you are also growing up in an environment that is negative/unhealthy I believe that's what seals the deal.
My mum was teenage mum and she was a very angry, unhappy person with no support and pushed friends and potential friends away...she didn't go out much with us either and she took her anger out on me and my sister physically and mentally for years. So that's why I believe I am "troubled". My mum is a lost soul...I love her and I hate her, she blames her mum for her "troubles" so all I can do is not repeat history with my children.

I would describe my upbringing as strict as well and the answer was always NO if I wanted to go out with my friends to the cinema, swimming, town etc so I missed out on a lot of valuable life experiences involving friends, eventually I didn't get asked out anymore. I was always told we had no money. I remember crying at school once because I took 10p in copper out of my parents jar to buy penny sweets and I felt guilty because we were poor. I was also given a lot of responsibility to look after my 3 sisters, get them ready on a morning and out of the door, feed them after school...

My mum use to always paint a bad picture of the world to me I think that's when the fear came and never left... to this day she thinks I've remembered my past wrong but my sisters remember and hate her too...

 

[MollyBeGood]

This thread makes me sad!

Bad parents...too much bad parenting!!

People should not have kids if they cannot raise them properly. *shakes head* in disbelief.

 

[Zooman]

Genetics partly but if you are also growing up in an environment that is negative/unhealthy I believe that's what seals the deal.
My mum was teenage mum and she was a very angry, unhappy person with no support and pushed friends and potential friends away...she didn't go out much with us either and she took her anger out on me and my sister physically and mentally for years. So that's why I believe I am "troubled". My mum is a lost soul...I love her and I hate her, she blames her mum for her "troubles" so all I can do is not repeat history with my children.

I would describe my upbringing as strict as well and the answer was always NO if I wanted to go out with my friends to the cinema, swimming, town etc so I missed out on a lot of valuable life experiences involving friends, eventually I didn't get asked out anymore. I was always told we had no money. I remember crying at school once because I took 10p in copper out of my parents jar to buy penny sweets and I felt guilty because we were poor. I was also given a lot of responsibility to look after my 3 sisters, get them ready on a morning and out of the door, feed them after school...

My mum use to always paint a bad picture of the world to me I think that's when the fear came and never left... to this day she thinks I've remembered my past wrong but my sisters remember and hate her too...

Yep i agree. You said it perfectly, genetics+bad upbringing. Your mom shouldn't have been allowed to have kids tbh (no offense to you). I wish there was a ban on certain people being allowed to have children. For example, on top of hard time in prison i think the court should have the choice to castrate a felon depending on their crime. I bet it would cut crime down too.

 

[Zooman]

I also believe there should be a 1 child limit on people in the US. It would decrease the already overly populated world and give parents more time and $ to spend on their child.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I also believe there should be a 1 child limit on people in the US. It would decrease the already overly populated world and give parents more time and $ to spend on their child.

I don't know... enforcing of the One Child limit, that gets a bit tricky.

And honestly, telling who can and can't breed, in keeping with my post, means this world has gone the way of no place I ever want to live in.

The answer is extinction of the human race. We are on our way anyways.

Go team! :thumbup:

 

[mixedupgirl]

Yep i agree. You said it perfectly, genetics+bad upbringing. Your mom shouldn't have been allowed to have kids tbh (no offense to you). I wish there was a ban on certain people being allowed to have children. For example, on top of hard time in prison i think the court should have the choice to castrate a felon depending on their crime. I bet it would cut crime down too.

My mum was far too young to have kids...You would've thought that health visitors would've given her more support, there should've been someone to come round and help. I wish she'd have put me in care I believe I would've had a better history behind me but then again I love my sisters and I love our memories together... I thought so many times about telling someone what was going on at home but I loved my mum and I thought she would hate me forever and that I would get split up from my sisters. But the fact I have a really cr.ap relationship with her now, we all do, I definitely should've told someone.... Shudda, wudda, cudda an all that.....

And I know Molly it is sad hearing people's stories. At least I learned what not to do from my parents, I feel guilty for even feeling angry with my kids sometimes but I know they have got a bright future ahead of them and that makes me happy....history won't repeat again.

 

[Zooman]

I don't know... enforcing of the One Child limit, that gets a bit tricky.

And honestly, telling who can and can't breed, in keeping with my post, means this world has gone the way of no place I ever want to live in.

The answer is extinction of the human race. We are on our way anyways.

Go team! :thumbup:

I don't think banning felons from breeding and having a nationwide one child policy will cause extinction lol. The world is already overpopulated and the environment is going to shit because of the resources we are consuming. Personally I don't feel like paying extra tax money because trailer trash decided to have 5 kids they can't support either.I think China is really smart when it comes to their one child policy and if the rest of the world doesn't follow behind soon then we better plan to live on mars.

 

[mixedupgirl]

I don't think banning felons from breeding and having a nationwide one child policy will cause extinction lol. The world is already overpopulated and the environment is going to shit because of the resources we are consuming. I think China is smart in their one child policy and the rest of the world should highly consider it. I don't feel like paying extra tax money because trailer trash decided to have 5 kids they can't support. Plus those kids are probably going to grow up shitty regardless and continue the cycle.

I don't know I've heard a few stories this year of babies being abandoned/put down the toilet etc because of China's policy I don't really like the idea. But I do think there should be a limit of kids people have, when people are having a lot of children that they can't even afford I think that is plain ignorant. My partners dad had 4 kids to his mum then went on to have 6 kids with his new partner and they really struggle and feed their kids cr.ap food that pisses me off ya know. People should think about how many kids they can support properly.