The Journal of Ocean Mist

OceanMist

Well-known member
I saw that other people have made journals, and me being the person that loves to get my thoughts out in these threads, I couldn't help myself.

Unfortunately, it seems I've made more enemies than friends on here lately, but I do encourage all people to post here if they have something that they want to say, whether it be positive, negative or neutral.

To start my journal, things have been going well for me in the past 4 months. I've been getting out there and meeting women in person which is a gigantic improvement compared to when I was a virgin and always alone. I feel more confident with talking to people, especially women, due to my dating and my job (flower delivery to businesses and houses).

I've found excuses to stay inside all the time and hide from people are easy to come up with, and can hurt one's chances of getting out of their shell. Exposure therapy has been effective in the past months.

As for very recently, I met a woman that was very nice and I connected with her. I was not totally sexually attracted to her due to her obvious overweight frame (just my preference that a woman be somewhat around average weight). Last night it seems we have parted ways which I knew was going to happen eventually because I was planning on ending on this from the first date.

I kind of rejected her because I could see further down the road and it just wasn't going to work out because I wasn't attracted to her enough sexually. Part of a possible relationship is being attracted to a woman sexually with confidence and I didn't feel that a relationship would be a possiblity and I got sick of being around her. I think a good test is to ask yourself is this woman attractive? If you hesitate or say no, then it's not going to work. That's my belief. I asked myself that question and the answer was no.

All of that is perfectly okay because I got experience out of it from a social and sexual aspect and I also got to experience what it's like to reject a woman. It only went two dates but we spent a long time together. I learned that from now on I should be a little more picky with a woman's weight and I also learned that I can be an effective communicator and get a woman to like me. Good stuff.

Things are going well, man, things are going well. :)
 
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OceanMist

Well-known member
The girl texted me last night. We both apologized for our disagreement and I was the person who took the blame. I think that in this situation it's best to let the other person feel like they've won in some kind of way. I don't want hate between people, that goes badly for both sides.

Her last text I didn't know how to respond to. She started talking about how much she likes being around me and all that noise. I've really got this girl by the ....... if you know what I mean. Haha. It's kind of cool to be the one who isn't needy at all. When I was younger, I used to be desperate, but now in this situation I'm not desperate at all and she is the one who is desperate. The tides have turned, my friends, the tides have turned. I like the feeling of being in control.

Sully gave some great advice that I've taken to heart, and that advice is to never need a g/f. Once you know you that you don't need a g/f you become very powerful and never get desperate.
 
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OceanMist

Well-known member
I went to play basketball, a pick-up game, this afternoon with my brother. I am so happy I finally got the courage to get out there and play again. I had been avoiding playing because of all the people who play but I got out there and played despite my fear. We didn't play for too long because of weather but I did good and got a couple baskets and at least one assist.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
The woman called again and I've pretty much cleared up with her that I'm not looking for dating or a relationship. I even told her I'm going to start looking at other women again on dating sites and she said she's okay with that. She said she wants to be friends. I'm happy with the way that thing ended. This time I should definitely look for a better looking woman who is more in my weight class.

Tomorrow, the plan is to play some basketball again.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Played basketball yesterday, 3 on 3 game. It went well.

Got the We Are Young song stuck in my head. Something about that chorus and that guy's voice that is awesome. They played it during the title game in ncaab too.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
It was funny because I planned to not see that girl again, but on friday I started drinking and changed my mind. I had nothing else to do and I figured I might as well hang out with her so we could talk and do extra-curricular activities. I'm not going to lie, the time with her had some great moments.

I also went to play basketball yesterday but nobody wanted to play and it wasn't busy so we shot some hoops.

As far as with the online dating, I might continue on there soon, I'm not really sure yet. It's kind of weird because it's hard for me to find a woman who is attractive on there. I wish I liked bar rooms and parties more.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Today has been eventful. I worked for 5 hours and then after that, I went to play basketball on the outdoor courts with my bro and some other guys that looked like they are college aged.

These guys could play, at least most of them could. I got shot down on offense for the most part, I got a couple shots but that was about it. I played good defense the first two games because the guy i was covering was coverable for me, then I played this really tall guy and forget about it, he owned me. It's safe to say I got humbled today and I got some good experience being around lots of people.

I am planning on keeping practicing so I can get better at basketball so maybe I can do a little better on the court. I've taken like a 6 or 7 year break from playing basketball, so it's not surprising that I'm a bit rusty. There were positive things I did.

At first, a couple guys got mad at me because I was missed a couple lay ups, haha, one was contested so yeah. They weren't so mad anymore after I made a couple good passes and scored a layup though.

What I found out is when you make good plays, you fit in a lot more, haha. When you don't play well, you become a little less liked. They were a competitive bunch out there. I guess I'm that way too.

As far as socially, my goal is to just keep putting myself out there right now. Just stepping on that court took courage that I didn't have for the past 5 years or so. This is a big breakthrough for me. Hopefully I can maybe build some friendships either there or somewhere else out of this and use the confidence that I'm getting for more. For now, this is a good thing, though.

Oh yeah, I went on POF again, and just answered a couple messages that were responses to mine. It's tough if you don't live in a big city because there are less options unless you want to drive 50 miles just to see a woman. I don't know if I could do that with my truck anyway. It's a really crappy truck and my parents told me to just keep it in the city, haha.
 
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