Confuseddd
Well-known member
I dont know about you, but I often wonder why people look down on me simply because im quiet Or because I seem shy and distant. Im wondering what you all think about it and im also wondering if any of you might try what im going to suggest. So it got me thinking, and I came to this conclusion.
To empathise with someone is to understand and recognise and feel another persons emotions. Usually one is able to do this because they themselves have faced these emotions. We as socially phobic/Socially anxious people tend to recognise other socially quiet people and empathise with them. We see them and look past what we feel is a facade they put up, much like we do when we ourselves are in an anxiety inducing situation. Either that or we are thinking too much about ourselves to notice any one else. Either way we have a larger emotional understanding of us and others like us.
Other people who have never experienced what we go through can not empathise like we can with each other. When they socialise with other people being quiet is a sign of disinterest and dismissive behavior. They feel insulted and quickly look to become defensive as they feel we are a range of different things. I've found that they can think we are arrogant, mean, self-centered, rude, ect.. Often times they dont realise that there is a reason other then what the social ques we send out tells them.
They give us social ques and we do no reciprocate because we are dealing with inner turmoil.
Social interaction is very much a give and take relationship. We are very nervous to "give".
Now after I realised this I thought maybe despite the fears I have if just this one time I try to give alittle bit... Let myself become slightly vulnerable.. Maybe I will find that other people respond to this. Like any task to get from point A to point B you must travel a path, there is no teleporter i.e you have to work up to being capable of doing this. With the conclusion I have come too I feel that it might be alittle easier to open up.
My hypothesis is that if you can allow yourself to become vulnerable other people will reciprocate and social interaction will happen for you more fluently and easier.
Be brave, be couragious
To empathise with someone is to understand and recognise and feel another persons emotions. Usually one is able to do this because they themselves have faced these emotions. We as socially phobic/Socially anxious people tend to recognise other socially quiet people and empathise with them. We see them and look past what we feel is a facade they put up, much like we do when we ourselves are in an anxiety inducing situation. Either that or we are thinking too much about ourselves to notice any one else. Either way we have a larger emotional understanding of us and others like us.
Other people who have never experienced what we go through can not empathise like we can with each other. When they socialise with other people being quiet is a sign of disinterest and dismissive behavior. They feel insulted and quickly look to become defensive as they feel we are a range of different things. I've found that they can think we are arrogant, mean, self-centered, rude, ect.. Often times they dont realise that there is a reason other then what the social ques we send out tells them.
They give us social ques and we do no reciprocate because we are dealing with inner turmoil.
Social interaction is very much a give and take relationship. We are very nervous to "give".
Now after I realised this I thought maybe despite the fears I have if just this one time I try to give alittle bit... Let myself become slightly vulnerable.. Maybe I will find that other people respond to this. Like any task to get from point A to point B you must travel a path, there is no teleporter i.e you have to work up to being capable of doing this. With the conclusion I have come too I feel that it might be alittle easier to open up.
My hypothesis is that if you can allow yourself to become vulnerable other people will reciprocate and social interaction will happen for you more fluently and easier.
Be brave, be couragious
