Klonoa
Well-known member
OOOH BOY, HERE WE GO.
Vision 1 - Shyness ~If I can't face anyone, how can I face myself at the mirror?~
I'm very shy... VERY shy that in recent years has gone full-on avoidant personality.
For the life of mine, I can't talk to girls in person unless we're already friends, I'm more... talkative over here. And by here, I mean internets. Mostly chat. To do a "call" I need to be completely alone at home, or otherwise my parents burst in asking what I'm doing/who am I talking to/why am I talking alone makes me feel very... tense and stressed.
In general, the idea of what my mother's reaction might be makes me horribly stressed to the point of hyper-ventilating... but I'm getting off-topic here.
When I try to approach girls in real life (either romantically or just friendship) I... can't talk much. Mind goes blank. This has led people to think I'l just aloof and stoic but it's really fear of being laughed at and being subject to ridicule. In fact, I wish I had a girlfriend to hang out with and hug and play with her but I always get stressed out at my flaws (oooh my, but I don't have a car nor moneys, what do what do...), I start to fear rejection before anything happens...
In short, my shyness comes from fear of being laughed and judged.
This has roots on childhood experiences...
Vision 2 - Childhood ~The time has passed, yet it continues to haunt~
Oh childhood... Wonderful, yet filled with horrors. I think my... personality issues go back when I was 8, my older brother dies from cancer, which felt like a horrible punch in the face, he was a role model to me. After that, I began to get close to people. I could coup with childhood only thanks to certain game he wanted to play.
At that point, onwards, I got some bullying, at first passive-aggresive, then aggresive. As I got to middle school, I got my drawing books either all scribbled over, ripped or even burned, as well laughed at my drawings, and judged that I'd never get anywhere with it. This fear of being laughed or judged has stuck with me these years that I havent improved that much, for I don't practice drawings in my house, scared that my parents or sister see me drawing and start making questions.
Around this point I decided to join a Zelda community. At first it went good, then it went horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. I don't... wanna go on full detail, but it was what created my "neediness" for someone to share life and hug.
More visions later, I think/hope...
Vision 1 - Shyness ~If I can't face anyone, how can I face myself at the mirror?~
I'm very shy... VERY shy that in recent years has gone full-on avoidant personality.
For the life of mine, I can't talk to girls in person unless we're already friends, I'm more... talkative over here. And by here, I mean internets. Mostly chat. To do a "call" I need to be completely alone at home, or otherwise my parents burst in asking what I'm doing/who am I talking to/why am I talking alone makes me feel very... tense and stressed.
In general, the idea of what my mother's reaction might be makes me horribly stressed to the point of hyper-ventilating... but I'm getting off-topic here.
When I try to approach girls in real life (either romantically or just friendship) I... can't talk much. Mind goes blank. This has led people to think I'l just aloof and stoic but it's really fear of being laughed at and being subject to ridicule. In fact, I wish I had a girlfriend to hang out with and hug and play with her but I always get stressed out at my flaws (oooh my, but I don't have a car nor moneys, what do what do...), I start to fear rejection before anything happens...
In short, my shyness comes from fear of being laughed and judged.
This has roots on childhood experiences...
Vision 2 - Childhood ~The time has passed, yet it continues to haunt~
Oh childhood... Wonderful, yet filled with horrors. I think my... personality issues go back when I was 8, my older brother dies from cancer, which felt like a horrible punch in the face, he was a role model to me. After that, I began to get close to people. I could coup with childhood only thanks to certain game he wanted to play.
At that point, onwards, I got some bullying, at first passive-aggresive, then aggresive. As I got to middle school, I got my drawing books either all scribbled over, ripped or even burned, as well laughed at my drawings, and judged that I'd never get anywhere with it. This fear of being laughed or judged has stuck with me these years that I havent improved that much, for I don't practice drawings in my house, scared that my parents or sister see me drawing and start making questions.
Around this point I decided to join a Zelda community. At first it went good, then it went horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. I don't... wanna go on full detail, but it was what created my "neediness" for someone to share life and hug.
More visions later, I think/hope...
