Stuff I need to talk about. (Girls)

[Rheves]

Ok. I have no one i can trust enough to talk about with this, so hear goes. I have known this chick for about a year and a half, I meant her through work somewhat, but then her and my sister became best friends. We hung out a lot a while back when my sister was still living in the same town. There was a few times I probably could have made it with her, but i pussied out, as usual. I recently started talking to her again on myspace, then texting, and eventually hung out a couple times. She just turned 21 so I went to the bar with her, thinking, hey, maybe I could get another chance. but at the bar she goes and buys some dude a drink and invites him to our table. At first I thought, guess im in the friend zone, but then the next night my drunk ass texts her saying, i have always had feelings for you that i have been unable to express. I have heard nothing back.... Did I **** up?

 

[Satine]

Whether you messed up or not depends on what you wanted, and by the sounds of it, you wanted a relationship with her. So... I suppose so, although you haven't hurt anyone except yourself in this situation, so as such you've limited damage as much as possible.

At the moment you're unsure about whether you've upset her/angered her/made her think twice about what she wants out of life, so I'd clarify. The conversation might not be an easy one, but you need to speak to her face to face. Trying to reach her by indirect means, ie., text, email, (possibly) phone will just leave space for her to not reply. So make it face to face.

Seems to me that you do want a relationship with her, so use this is a 'coming to a head' stage either to get into one, or to cut your losses, resolve to just be friends with her (if you want to/can) and find a relationship in someone else.

There are no prizes for being reticent - all you'll end up with is relationship-related loneliness, and that's no consolation prize. Take the risk and a) speak to her, and/or b) go out to find someone you like.

 

[Thelema]

Whether you messed up or not depends on what you wanted, and by the sounds of it, you wanted a relationship with her. So... I suppose so, although you haven't hurt anyone except yourself in this situation, so as such you've limited damage as much as possible.

At the moment you're unsure about whether you've upset her/angered her/made her think twice about what she wants out of life, so I'd clarify. The conversation might not be an easy one, but you need to speak to her face to face. Trying to reach her by indirect means, ie., text, email, (possibly) phone will just leave space for her to not reply. So make it face to face.

Seems to me that you do want a relationship with her, so use this is a 'coming to a head' stage either to get into one, or to cut your losses, resolve to just be friends with her (if you want to/can) and find a relationship in someone else.

There are no prizes for being reticent - all you'll end up with is relationship-related loneliness, and that's no consolation prize. Take the risk and a) speak to her, and/or b) go out to find someone you like.

Very good advice.

 

[mmmm]

Oh, my word. This thread has just put me on a guilt trip of note. I have done those things to no less than 3 people and now it has finally caught up and bitten me. There were guys in the loonng past whom I knew were interested in me and I ignored it for as long as I could but when I thought they would finally "out with it", I deliberately paid attention to other people in the hope that they would take a hint. Naturally, they didn't and so began a long span of ignoring emails because I didn't have the guts to face them, even online. I hate hate hate to say it but I'm almost positive this chick is not interested.

But no, I don't think you ****ed up. It's fabulous that you had the (Dutch) courage to tell her.

Her loss, dude. Woohoo! You're available. Work it.

 

[JCS008]

I don't think you messed up completely yet. But I think you should give her a call and ask her to meet up in person. Then you need to let her know how you feel. Of course, this is easier said than done. But like Satine said, by texting, E-Mailing, and online communications, it just gives her an easier chance to avoid the situation or delay it.

And hey, even if she's not interested or only sees you as a friend, then at least you'll know, right? And it will suck at first to be rejected, but you won't have to wonder if you ever missed your chance. Trust me man, "not ever knowing what could have been" is something you don't want to live with. I know from personal experience.....

 

[Rheves]

Thanks for the advice guys. I didnt tell the entire story. When the guy she asked over to our table gets there, I could tell she was very nervous. The whole time she was staring at me and talking to me. The only time she would talk to the dude was when I would leave. Oh shit is strange. Anywho, I will for sure talk to her face to face about this. I would be happy either way. Just need to know how she feels about it.