ScaredToBreathe
Well-known member
Hi everyone! I know I havent been posting anything on SPW lately, but I've been quite busy and honestly I think my SA has gotten a lot better, for the first time! yay!
but anyways, the reason I'm on here now, is because I feel stuck.. I have a great life, my job is going very well, I've made lots of friends (and have been able to hang out with many of them one-on-one...BIG accomplishment for me lol), and I'm also seeing someone. but I still feel pretty depressed and feel as if at any moment I will slip back into severe SA again. I also still have times where my SM takes over and I become unwillingly mute.
I don't know what to do! one of my biggest concerns is should I tell others? most people dont seem to understand unless they are also SA sufferers. when I get really quiet it can be awkward, but maybe if the other person knew he would be more empathetic and realize that i cant control it and im not trying to be distant or stuck up? or should i just have my quiet moments without giving him an explanation and just hope it doesnt bother him? I'm getting to know this person, but I never really let him get to know me too well...
another problem is my lack of self confidence. i have a good self esteem (i accept myself) but very low confidence (i find it hard to believe that others accept me, even when it's obvious they do!). any tips? I am an introvert, and besides my SA and SM I am NOT a shy person at all I can be very loud and outgoing and hyper a lot. but due to my SA and low confidence it's sooo hard to say what's on my mind; I can't just blurt out anything I want or joke around without feeling embarassed or feeling intense anxiety. how can I be more myself? I don't want to care what others think or let my anxiety get in the way, but every word I say and every action I take repeats itself in my mind over and over so I fear doing or saying something wrong. What do you guys do to get over this?
Thanks so much to whoever reads this longass post! Hope you guys can help or at least provide some insight
but anyways, the reason I'm on here now, is because I feel stuck.. I have a great life, my job is going very well, I've made lots of friends (and have been able to hang out with many of them one-on-one...BIG accomplishment for me lol), and I'm also seeing someone. but I still feel pretty depressed and feel as if at any moment I will slip back into severe SA again. I also still have times where my SM takes over and I become unwillingly mute.
I don't know what to do! one of my biggest concerns is should I tell others? most people dont seem to understand unless they are also SA sufferers. when I get really quiet it can be awkward, but maybe if the other person knew he would be more empathetic and realize that i cant control it and im not trying to be distant or stuck up? or should i just have my quiet moments without giving him an explanation and just hope it doesnt bother him? I'm getting to know this person, but I never really let him get to know me too well...
another problem is my lack of self confidence. i have a good self esteem (i accept myself) but very low confidence (i find it hard to believe that others accept me, even when it's obvious they do!). any tips? I am an introvert, and besides my SA and SM I am NOT a shy person at all I can be very loud and outgoing and hyper a lot. but due to my SA and low confidence it's sooo hard to say what's on my mind; I can't just blurt out anything I want or joke around without feeling embarassed or feeling intense anxiety. how can I be more myself? I don't want to care what others think or let my anxiety get in the way, but every word I say and every action I take repeats itself in my mind over and over so I fear doing or saying something wrong. What do you guys do to get over this?
Thanks so much to whoever reads this longass post! Hope you guys can help or at least provide some insight
