Stuck with you, because I have noone else?

[HeadFace]

Well basically I've come to a realization... I think I might be keeping this friend just because there's no one else I have.
And it's just depressing, because whenever I want to leave I feel too sad and depressed and just want her back, because I feel too lonely.
But at the same time I can admit that she treats me badly, and is immature, a lot. She also seems very close-minded.
I don't want to leave though. I can confide in her.
But then when I do, she often criticizes me one way or another. And makes me feel worse.
I've been having a terrible time at life, and I feel like she's only been keeping my mood down instead of encouraging me to get my ass out of bed, at the least.
On top of that I just don't feel important to her at all. No matter how hard I try to make her happy, or how much I care, she just puts me down sometimes. Hell, often I feel like I'm barely apart of her life. And that if I left she wouldnt give a single damn. Sometimes I'll complain to her about life or something, and she wont even take me seriously. She insults me and never tells me why either.
But tying back... I have this feeling that the only reason that I'm still talking with her, is because I can't confide in anyone else, or trust anyone else. And I can't find new friends... It's too hard. And besides, if someone who I felt a complete connection and comfort too doesn't want me, then why should I try with anyone any more?

 

[***deleted***]

I've had friends like this. I was always the one to contact them, and when I stopped, they never contacted me.

If she is making you unhappy, she is not a friend.

Try making a new friend, so you won't have to rely on this person

 

[HeadFace]

I've had friends like this. I was always the one to contact them, and when I stopped, they never contacted me.

If she is making you unhappy, she is not a friend.

Try making a new friend, so you won't have to rely on this person

I don't even know how to make new friends. Thanks for your input though... I thought about confronting her about it, but that scares me.

 

[HeadFace]

I was always the one to contact them, and when I stopped, they never contacted me.

I don't want to believe I'm like this, but it's kind of true. Sometimes she does. But about 80% of the time I'm the one to talk first. Though it doesnt matter to me any more. I just think that if she really didn't care to talk to me she wouldn't reply at all.

been through the same.
had many ppl like that in my life. i'm pretty much alone now but it felt worse to be this lame person who keeps insisting to be in unwanted place.

I have a feeling I'm going to end up like that. I always insisted on hanging out with friends, but then kind of end up being ignored the whole time I'm out with them.

 

[Phoenixx]

Wow, I've actually been going through almost the exact same thing. I've been trying to leave a "friend" lately, she's pretty much the same as the girl you described. She's slightly immature, she criticizes me, teases me, lies to me about her life (and I recently found out she talked about me a little bit behind my back), makes me depressed, and if she isn't doing any of the above, she's just either texting on her phone or going on about her boyfriend... ahem, fiance. Yeah, I want to leave, but I hate being alone. And none of my other real friends have classes with me. So I'm basically just "stuck" with her because I'm kinda afraid of being a complete loner.

 

[Niteowl]

This is something that I'm always thinking about ... here's my story you can relate to ...

I had three "friends" in school that were really, really horrible, I mean hitting me, pulling my hair, stealing my things, lying, everything. But, I could talk to them on the rare occasions that they could behave themselves. Of course to them, it was just fun. In college, I have no friends, no one to talk to. And honestly, I prefer it now.

Or my brother, who is still at school, has a "friend" that seems to use him, is always asking to visit our house so that my brother can trade Pokemon with him, and always goes off with other friends when they let him, knowing all too well that they won't let my brother be involved. And then he apparently "rages" when my brother wants to spend time trying to make other friends. And he stays friends with him for the same reason as us ... for the sake of having one, because there's no one else.

It's not like he even is able to talk to his friend about problems or anything, I've seen how they communicate in instant messaging and the friend is usually replying with "LOL" or ":/" rather than anything helpful, and then he goes back to talking about Pokemon. I was discussing with him last night that he could do far better than to be friends with a person like that, and he told me that he would rather make new friends, if he "was allowed".

You will likely find more friends, or maybe not having any will encourage you to try even harder to make some - maybe then you will find a friend who treats you better. Until then, we can be your friends - it's probably much easier to confide in people here, because they know exactly what you're feeling and won't make you feel worse about things. =)

 

[HeadFace]

Wow, I've actually been going through almost the exact same thing. I've been trying to leave a "friend" lately, she's pretty much the same as the girl you described. She's slightly immature, she criticizes me, teases me, lies to me about her life (and I recently found out she talked about me a little bit behind my back), makes me depressed, and if she isn't doing any of the above, she's just either texting on her phone or going on about her boyfriend... ahem, fiance. Yeah, I want to leave, but I hate being alone. And none of my other real friends have classes with me. So I'm basically just "stuck" with her because I'm kinda afraid of being a complete loner.

Yeah, exactly! It's a horrible feeling. I don't want to leave because being a loner was annoyingly painful to begin with. Going back to that life would just be terrible, to be honest.

This is something that I'm always thinking about ... here's my story you can relate to ...

I had three "friends" in school that were really, really horrible, I mean hitting me, pulling my hair, stealing my things, lying, everything. But, I could talk to them on the rare occasions that they could behave themselves. Of course to them, it was just fun. In college, I have no friends, no one to talk to. And honestly, I prefer it now.

Or my brother, who is still at school, has a "friend" that seems to use him, is always asking to visit our house so that my brother can trade Pokemon with him, and always goes off with other friends when they let him, knowing all too well that they won't let my brother be involved. And then he apparently "rages" when my brother wants to spend time trying to make other friends. And he stays friends with him for the same reason as us ... for the sake of having one, because there's no one else.

It's not like he even is able to talk to his friend about problems or anything, I've seen how they communicate in instant messaging and the friend is usually replying with "LOL" or ":/" rather than anything helpful, and then he goes back to talking about Pokemon. I was discussing with him last night that he could do far better than to be friends with a person like that, and he told me that he would rather make new friends, if he "was allowed".

You will likely find more friends, or maybe not having any will encourage you to try even harder to make some - maybe then you will find a friend who treats you better. Until then, we can be your friends - it's probably much easier to confide in people here, because they know exactly what you're feeling and won't make you feel worse about things. =)

Ah, I see. If I was in that situation, I'd actually prefer being completely alone. It almost sounds like bullying/abuse.

And about your brother... Yeah. Thats how I feel about my friend. Now when I try to talk to her about something it's usually just "yay!" then moves on to something else. Or if it's a problem she either criticizes me, or just types a bunch of "..."
dunno what to do. I dont really have many other options. I'm so fed up with it though.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Yea I had a guy friend whoa was like that to me as well. He knew me from a previous job for a few years as aquiantences. For awhile he was dating this girl for awhile and then broke up and had no job. He comes to me at work and wants me to go out to lunch so he can talk about his troubles and tried my best to understand him.

So we started talking more and then hung out but always had to fooot the bill and helped him pay for parts for his car. After he got back to work I told him that we should take turns if we are going to get food. He would always use the I'm broke excuse and although he had his own car he would hit me up and want me to pick him up and take him to my place.

I eventually told him about my SA and depression and acts like he doesn't want to hear it and tells me that I should go to my parents about that stuff and not tell my guy friends.

After working on my anxiety I got tired of being used by him and not considering my feelings that I needed to confront him. The last straw was when he texted me asking what I had for supper and then invites himself over just to eat some Kraft Dinner. The next time he texted me he wanted me to take him to McD's for some food and told him that we needed to talk. After that point he doesn't seem to do much with me unless I do something for him.

As wierd as it sounds I was watching Jerry Springer and listened to his 'final thoughts' where he stated that if you are putting up with someone treating you bad due to the fear of being lonely that I should seek help. After hearing that I decided that I need to work on myself and forget about this loser.

For two months I have just stopped texting him and then comes to my job a few days ago and I don't think he got the hint that we are done. So now I have to think of what to say to this douchebag to let him know that I no longer want anything to do with him since after I stopped talking to him I have been meeting new people and have been going out more often.

 

[curious84]

I have no friends but it is not a problem for me.
I did a choice in my life and I am trying to follow it as longer as possible.

I think I haave a little bit of social phobia and I enjoyed this forum because I am a researcher and I find very interesting this topic. I really think that the 70% of social phobia is due to the education received in the childhood period.

I understand completely your impressions and your feelings because I am like you, I don't like for example discos, pub and other places. I am a very simple guy and I really like to have friend like you, I would like to help you but please don't consider yourselves different than a normal person.

You are, we are, different in positive terms.

if you need help please write me .