Struggled at a recent social gathering

[blackgatescross]

I was invited to a surprise birthday party for a good friend of mine. I was nervous but made the effort. When I got there, I realised that they were mostly family members of my friend and that I had very little in common with any of them.

I saw a few of them from a recent stag week I attend with my friend, however I struggled to form a conversation with those that I did know as I realised that I had very little in common with them aside from a mutual acquaintance.

I felt a bit stink as I am single and they were all there with partners. Long story short, I apologised and left after about 15 minutes, because my anxiety made it very difficult to be there.

What terrifies me is that I may be like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to wake up when I am sixty and realise that I have wasted the best years of my life being self-conscious.

 

[missjesss]

Don't feel bad about it at least you made the effort and u went good on u ! I'm sure someone without social anxiety would have left early if they went alone and did not click with anyone I had to stay at my massive Italian families Xmas do for 6 hours it was absolute torture coz I dislike my family all loud and negative *******s lol

 

[doubleM]

try not to put all the blame on yourself. it sounds like theyre just not your kind.

 

[StandingJelly]

Hi, thank you and good on you for making it there. I hate social gatherings and couldn't make it without an imaginary friend cheering me on.

To make you and I feel not as alone. I just went to a work-party today, which I almost considered turning back in the toilet before entering the restaurant.

My workmates all knew each other well and sat at their tables, whilst the ones at my table left one at a time to gather with the ones they know better, leaving me alone. Then some of those who brought partners sat at my table and I didn't talk for the rest of the party, whilst they talked intimately to each other about things which didn't make sense to me. I was relieved when the events on the stage started.

I left when the whole event finally was over, and actually felt much more comfortable leaving with strangers who were also invited, than with workmates I knew and felt despised at for being alone.

I don't know what to talk. I can't manage to open my mouth to talk. Nor can I talk fluently. I get asked why I don't say something a lot, and today is no exception.

 

[The Nephilim]

Good on you for going, that took courage. You say "you struggled to form a conversation". We tend to put the pressure on ourselves to start conversations or to blame it on ourselves for conversation not flowing etc, when really it should be a two way thing.

Don't be hard on yourself, I am noticing more and more that apparently normal, outgoing people struggle with starting conversations with people they don't know

 

[sunboy400]

You just have to relax and not put added pressure on yourself.I'm sure with time everything would be alright okay