SPW Vetarans - How have you grew over the years?

[dyingtolive]

SPW Vetarans - How hav u grown over the years?

well, i went here almost 3 years ago. I went on and off. I educated myself about the anxiety, how to cope. I lived life a bit and it feels nice to reminisce back to those times. I learned new things about myself.. and i took some big steps to solve my problems that i wouldn't have thought i would get done.

Im still in a hole right now but this time im taking what i feel are more "right" steps>

I was just about to gradute back then. I was pretty scared. How would i survive the real world. Well, i found a job. It was not difficult. Im actually OK in my job. I was reading posts where people were STRUGGLING to make it at work. Thing is I had a ****ty time surviving those years in school. I didn't know anyone. I was an outsider, felt like a freak. People are strange when you're a stranger. Atleast im not a stranger in my job and im accepted.

I had loads of free time those years. College. How i miss it. Now im in the 9-6 daily grind. It could be worse. It was a transition definitely. It was a struggle at first especially with my obsession with working out with the new workload. At school, i had enough time to tend to it, now though its tougher, im older, so its this that is my number #1 challenge and priority.

My best year was 2 years ago when I thought of using meditation as my way to cope with anxiety and to discipline myself. It was the best thing i ever did in my life by a long shot. Unfortunately, i cannot find the peace of mind in me now to do it like i did. I wish to go back that route. Slowly but surely.

 

[Honda]

By presistence and hard work... Trust me, no self help book, medication and all this non-sense that says you're sick will ever help... Its all about working hard on growing over the feeling of fear and hesistation..

I have crossed a long distance for the past 7 months and i will keep going cuz i insist i want to get somewhere in life..

The anxiety wont go away its found in every human being, the difference in our case is were to wired and addicted to giving up to it due to many reasons like a bad childhood or such.. but let your survival instict kick in more and work on doing what it takes to build something out of yourself and its a lifetime project..

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

WOW Dying just realized you and I joined at the same time. I only used this place a month or two then... returned this January. I just graduated. I joined here because worst time in life - didnt get better... until now.

Persistence and hard work for sure but I also know - HELP. Outside. Whether social support from friends, or professional - there's no shame in that, Ive tried self-help and I cant do it alone or by myself NOR should I have to. Also realize there's no linear up hill... life is in cycles, but that doesn't mean you can't keep getting further and further.

It's a process, must be dedicated and OPEN to the process of change and yourself. Ive found change, even good, is hard. True for human history always opposed to change even obvious good ones. We are creatures of habit and familiarity, that sadly includes BAD habits and familiars. We can get complacent even in misery.

Change requires acceptance first, of your self, your life, your faults and goods, etc.

It's going to be hard and long I am impatient - ups and downs Im in a down atm after graduating, but gotta do it. =) Gonna seek CBT and other things this summer.

 

[dyingtolive]

Congratulations, Deus! on your graduation. Getting through that with SA must've been tough.

I actually stayed in touch with a couple of peeps throughout the past couple of years and it was a big help. A couple of peeps from where Im from. Such a shame though I didn't have the guts to meet these people when we were supposed to have our Eyeball. I chickened out!

HABITS, yes exactly, and SIMPLY. sometimes, so hard to accept and realize thats its that simple, just keep on working on habits. alot of leg work. effort, putting in effort. but when u add it all up, whats needed, its just that.

Cycles, i love that word and it applies to so much. Everything in life moves in cycles. I think 'Be grateful when up, and just don't try to **** up too badly when down'. But the next up will come. Just maximize the ups, minimize the downs, and eventually you move up, its just a numbers game.

Good luck this summer!

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

^^^maximizing the ups and managing the downs. There's some quote like that I never wrote down should have, but really nailed it. But a huge part is that - not letting the downs sweep you away like a flood. Got to build levees, dams, support structures to deal with the downs, that's part of the change, creating social support, knowing your core values, accepting yourself, experiencing, etc. Those stuff don't get built overnight tho, thats something hard for me to accept, wanting so bad but takes time and effort and a certain attitude.

Good luck you too, mate! and thanks, it took me longer to graduate - but I did it. It wasnt easy esp last 3 years. Time to move forward and keep going hopefully.