Something someone said to me

[MrTornado]

Well, there is this co-worker of mine, and we usually get along awesome. But, he was mentioning that he had a girlfriend then he said how he didn't use blow-up dolls anymore, then it was "you're the only one in that club now" (to me) I shot back, "no you were the only one in that club to begin with buddy."

Anyway, I asked him later why he thought that and he was like "it was just a joke man" acting as if there was something wrong with me. But, usually when someone makes fun there i a grain of truth to it, right? I'm not sure what to take from his comment... :?

 

[Neph]

people can be jerks sometimes without knowing it


and thats why i hate people

 

[MrTornado]

Yeah true...but that really doesn't help me...

 

[fearlessvenom]

its a joke, teasing you bout not having a girlfriend.
dont think there is any more to it

 

[lyricalliaisons]

You can take from the comment that the guy thought he was trying to be funny, while he was actually being cruel. A lot of times people disguise insults as jokes & it's hard to discern them. But if he's normally nice to you, maybe it was just a joke & he probably now regrets it.

 

[MrTornado]

You can take from the comment that the guy thought he was trying to be funny, while he was actually being cruel. A lot of times people disguise insults as jokes & it's hard to discern them. But if he's normally nice to you, maybe it was just a joke & he probably now regrets it.

So, how do I discern if it was a joke or a disguised insult? I mean, not too sound arrogant, but I think I am a pretty good looking guy (when I have self-esteem), so I don't know why he would assume I don't have a girlfriend?? Maybe there is something wrong with me I'm not seeing?

 

[deadinside]

Sounds like the jerk was trying to make himself feel better by hanging shit on someone else (don't take it personally - just a jerk being a jerk).

 

[JonnyD_]

you're clearly oversensitive... he was joking plus trying to say go there and get one for you... comparing his girl with a doll

you should invite him and his girlfirend for diner and take your blowup doll with you...

 

[theblank]

Deleted.

 

[MrTornado]

Anyway, I asked him later why he thought that and he was like "it was just a joke man" acting as if there was something wrong with me. But, usually when someone makes fun there i a grain of truth to it, right? I'm not sure what to take from his comment... :?

I think there really is something to be said about the "grain of truth" in people's jokes. Sometimes "humor" can be used as an opportunity to bring things up that would otherwise not be talked about. In your case I think your friend's true feelings came out (that you are a loser with women), but he disguised them with a "joke." He's probably talked about you behind his back with other people and that's the consensus they've all come to. But even if he was just trying to be funny, it was at your expense and the joke was on you...which is mean spirited. Unless you have the type of relationship where you joke back and forth to each other in a mean spirited way on a regular basis, he probably did mean what he said and was being a jerk.

I can relate to you because something someone said the other night upset me too. I was at a friend's house playing charades with his seven year old daughter, his wife and another women. My friend of almost 30 years, his brother and another guy were in a near by room doing a jam session. My friend's daughter was acting something out in front of me and I was trying to guess what it was when my friend's brother walked into the room, saw that we were playing charades, shouted "child molester" and looked at me. Instantly I went from being in a good mood to a bad mood because what he said was totally offensive and out of line. But I'm sure he was just "joking," looking to get a cheap laugh at my expense. My guess is that he, and all the other guys there (including my long time friend) were in the other room making fun of me because I am close to 40 years old, never have a girlfriend and get along good with kids. I guess that automatically makes me a sick pervert in their minds, so when the opportunity to "joke" about it presented itself, what they really thought about me came to the surface.

Unless I clear the air with my friend's brother, I doubt that I will ever hang out with any of them again. I want friends who are kind to me and understanding; not mean spirited jerks.

Wow, this post made me feel really crappy about myself, thanks! I don't know how valid your viewpoint is though, you seem awfully bitter yourself.

Anyway, I do have a very hard time talking to women, probably come across very shy when talking to them, maybe that is what he meant.

My mom commented to me today that I sell myself very short and could be a model, or whatever. I think that is ludicrous and think everyone thinks I'm ugly.

 

[theblank]

Wow, this post made me feel really crappy about myself, thanks! I don't know how valid your viewpoint is though, you seem awfully bitter yourself.

I guess you just misunderstood what I wrote. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about yourself, and if I did I'm sorry.

This is why I don't post a lot on the internet. People misunderstand me and it makes me feel even more alienated.

Goodbye.

 

[MrTornado]

Sry that I made you feel alienated. I suppose you were just trying to help. Whatever.

 

[TheNewZero]

Some people like to jokingly insult people. I actually used to do that a lot when I was in high school, I didn't know how else to be 'funny'. He might not have meant anything by it, maybe he just came up with that line in his head and you were the one he said it to because you were simply there?

 

[MrTornado]

Some people like to jokingly insult people. I actually used to do that a lot when I was in high school, I didn't know how else to be 'funny'. He might not have meant anything by it, maybe he just came up with that line in his head and you were the one he said it to because you were simply there?

So, how should I go about determining whether or not it was a joke?

 

[Ubersonic]

Keep in mind that he made fun of himself 1st, so don't take him too seriously. Also, that joke sounded like one of those spur of the moment type things, I doubt there was any thought put into it.

 

[getbornagain]

That should be taken as a joke at all times man. The fact you even questioned it is proof of your insecurity. Not trying to beak you or anything lol... just sayin.

 

[Marie1988]

yeh it was a 100% joke. he said time for you to loose the blow up doll now, as in he aint gotta use his anymore coz he got a bird...it was a good joke actualy lol

 

[Neph]

i dont like it when people joke about me

they dont know me enough to do that

 

[Anthony_Afterwit]

Well, there is this co-worker of mine, and we usually get along awesome. But, he was mentioning that he had a girlfriend then he said how he didn't use blow-up dolls anymore, then it was "you're the only one in that club now" (to me) I shot back, "no you were the only one in that club to begin with buddy."

Anyway, I asked him later why he thought that and he was like "it was just a joke man" acting as if there was something wrong with me. But, usually when someone makes fun there i a grain of truth to it, right? I'm not sure what to take from his comment... :?

Ask him if he was forced to get a gf after his doll left him. In front of the same group of people. See how funny he thinks it is. If he laughs then it was a joke in the first place, he didn't mean anything.

 

[Havocan]

Well, there is this co-worker of mine, and we usually get along awesome. But, he was mentioning that he had a girlfriend then he said how he didn't use blow-up dolls anymore, then it was "you're the only one in that club now" (to me) I shot back, "no you were the only one in that club to begin with buddy."

Anyway, I asked him later why he thought that and he was like "it was just a joke man" acting as if there was something wrong with me. But, usually when someone makes fun there i a grain of truth to it, right? I'm not sure what to take from his comment... :?

Just forget about the whole thing, probably nothing to worry about. If he starts on with the joking again, ask him if he misses his doll or something^^.