Something NEW stopping you going out?

BlaiseBLATES

BlaiseBLATES

Well-known member
If you cant be arsed for the whole story, scroll down to the second part.
------
My dad is an ex-drug addict. Since he gave up he's overdosed on stelazine on a regular basis, this causes copper toxicity and stroke-like symptoms(The pills are meant to prevent a stroke of which he had many years prior). One day he took too many and I woke up to paramedics shouting at my dad, telling him to breathe and holding an oxygen mask over his mouth...Ever since I've had a fear of death, I make up weird ways things can somehow kill me and this is why I now have panic attacks.
Recently he started doing it again, as his new girlfriend does not know he is on these tablets. The other week he overdosed 4 times, he claims to the hospital he is no longer on Stelazine, but my mother fetched a prescription for them only a week prior to the incident. He does not take the pills as prescribed, but saves them to do this. Only me and my mother know so due to ten years with him. The hospital think my dad has these 'fits' because of stress.
A recent argument with my dad claiming my agoraphobia is nothing but a switch in my mind resulted in me saying if it wasn't for his attention seeking ways I would not have agoraphobia. My nan then intervened, telling me if it wasn't for me my dad would be well AND HE DIDN'T DENY IT!!!!!!. Ever since I've found myself constantly replaying that it's my fault in my mind... I haven't told anyone...But It's depressed me to such an extent that I cannot stand to be around people due to shame and guilt.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this seems a weird question..but has something new stopped you guys from going out? Eventhough you were well on the road to recovery? Should I seek a more general counselling for this?
 
kayelle

kayelle

1
That must be terrible for you *hugs*. You having agoraphobia is not the reason your dad is doing this. You may be causing your dad some stress which may make him feel more helpless, etc., but this isn't because of your agoraphobia necessarily. What I'm trying to say is, if you didn't have agoraphobia and you were able to go about your life normally, then you would possibly do something else to make him stressed. And I don't mean just you, I'm sure your mum and his girlfriend and your nan and everyone around him causes him some stress. It's not anything that you're doing more than anyone else in his life. Relationships with people come with good and bad and he can't handle the bad part, so he's turning to those pills, like you and I turn to being agoraphobic.

I hope I'm explaining this ok. I'm trying to say that maybe he does get stressed because of you, but I'm sure he gets stressed because of all the other people in his life too. And he feels like he can't handle any of it so he turns to pills. I don't have any experience of addiction directly, but as far as I can see it's very similar to something like agoraphobia, it's just another way to avoid the hard things that we don't want to experience, another escape and way of hiding.

I think maybe your nan was so worked up and worried that she just blurted that out in the heat of the moment because she was looking for someone to be angry at. I don't know your dad or you, but I find it very hard to believe that if you weren't causing your dad stress that he wouldn't be taking those pills. It doesn't just switch off like that.

I hope you feel better, and you realise that your nan is just angry about this whole situation and is trying to blame someone, but it's not your fault and you don't have to be ashamed, you didn't choose to be anxious and agoraphobic!
 
DarkSeeker

DarkSeeker

Well-known member
There's these parts of the brain, these poor excuse of human beings exploit at a young age to turn you into either a docile pet or a carbon copy of themselves (but always a true stranger to yourself). Never take crap from them, anyone or anything.

I don't know how old you are, but you can always trust your intelligence and emotional intelligence to find a way to turn a situation at your advantages. Even when there's apparently no way out. You just have to trust your instincts (the real ones).
 
Last edited:
BlaiseBLATES

BlaiseBLATES

Well-known member
Thank you everybody for your replies.
Kayelle - the way you explained everything made me see things through a new perspective, although I do know it's not stress that's making my father take these pills I now see he could take them as an escape. thank you.
Redski - There's no reason I guess. He barely see's me or spends enough time with me for it to be completely my fault. Thank you.
Darkseeker - Your point is extremely true, something I was completely hiding from myself, I know for a certain through my gut instinct I have nothing to do with my fathers problems. Although some may argue, due to the fact I'm only 15, I know what my insticts are saying is certainly a valid explaination to my fathers actions. I also see you around the boards a lot, and some of the things you've said have helped me on prior topics, thank you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top