Something For the Weak

[mikebird]

How regularly do you get told to, greeted with the basic phrase of 'have a good weekend', or contribute this to others?

It's been a while. Most interviews take place in Friday
It makes the basics very difficult to remember after one or two year out of action. Forgetting such a thing as we part company, shaking hands, it may just in itself to be a very strong reason to be dismissed from the shortlist

Today, I added the phrase to my last email to a recruiter has me set up for a meeting next week, with more than a week's delay already... no reason to complain at all.

But being in an office and told the same ever phrase every week carries so little weight as starting a day with 'how are you?' makes me puke. Not relating to any bad feelings I may have to hide or reveal - not at all. It's not being nice. I'd rather take a comprehensive university exam with billions of challenging technical questions than have to put up with any niceties

Rather a cat's 'meeooww' or purr, or a tiger's roar in my face. That's worth a million times more than 'hey - you alright?'

Hhhh.. Ummm... why I'm unemployed? Just that?

 

[WishingICould]

I'm not sure I understand your point.

 

[lonelee1]

i think he's saying he'd rather do without small talk or something.

 

[jaim38]

I'd rather take a comprehensive university exam with billions of challenging technical questions than have to put up with any niceties

Me too. I guess SA makes us do dumb things and think irrationally. I guess that's one of the reasons why we're unemployed.

 

[theslowesthand]

I think the actual words 'have a good weekend' might barely be relevant, as to them (normal people) it's all about FEELINGS in the NOW, not logic, accuracy, or anything else. It's probably just their attempt at parting company with you "on friendly terms" (you know, having no fear, anxiety, animosity, etc). So whatever words that can be used for this purpose will be used, whatever they are (and are usually different for every person - eg 'enjoy your day', 'have a pleasant day', 'nice meeting you').

 

[mikebird]

I never say "Have a nice day/good weekend", but I often reply with "yep thanks, You too" or "Oooow, I will. You too"

I don't mind replying to these things. In fact I think it shows that people care or they are at least friendly enough to pretend they care. I like these niceties, these unnecessary words. A big part of me being rubbish socially is a lack of these.

So everybody, enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Perfect! You've got me on the right level!! I can't function at smalltalk level. It's personal. So limp. I feel a deep judgement behind the scenes joke that Mike is such an arr***s ole, geek and w***ker. I always try the limpest 'you too' and ooohhh! yeah!!' baaa.


I find it very much as an open prompt to 'find all about you' - just as a recruiter does immediately after I apply for a job. A random bullying phone call to test my mettle and deem me instantly as inappropriate, on my bad attitude.

Just the same as a response to say nothing to the molecule level of smalltalk questions, or refuse an anonymous phone call. Either acceptance, requiring awesome volumes of word concoction can lead to rejection or outright failure

I need to rewire myself.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

I hate small talk, makes normal people feel welcomed though. I try not to think about how fake it is.

 

[jaim38]

I don't enjoy small talk usually. I used to think that people are just as fake as I was, doing small talk just for the sake of being polite and not really meaning what they say. But I could be wrong. Maybe there are people who really enjoy small talk, as bizarre as this might sound. If I want to make other people happy, I guess I need to engage in small talk with them, however unpleasant that may be to me. The world doesn't revolve around me as there are other people who matter too.

 

[theslowesthand]

I think with "small-talk" (which is also in job interviews), that it's only the actual words which are fake (eg asking 'how are you?', 'you okay?'). But the intention to "get along okay" at the emotional level, is quite possibly genuine. Another words, they might not really care much or at all at how you are feeling, or about you generally as a person, but they do care about having a comfortable "relationship" with you, even if it lasts only minutes in duration. As a relationship means it involves them & their feelings, hence they care about having a good feelings-experience with everybody they comes accross, which requires the use of small-talk, which is like a "social lubricant".

 

[mikebird]

Something For the Week

Interview tip

Having something clearly set up for my tomorrow afternoon

15 minute walk to the office, by the river. Dream salary. About the fifth time to get a job in town with no train or car journey. I know it sounds simple. It is. I have exactly 72 cases in a spreadsheet to measure income against travel expenses. Each one is individual. 27 jobs have been done. The rest are just a guide for what's worth doing, yeah?

I need to clear my head.

I won't be late.

There will be a circus in my mind as I arrive in the lobby, waiting...... to be met. Ushered into a tiny room. Trying to relax? Impossible. For each of the 27 cases... "why did this end, and when?" Each clearly documented for them. Usually distilled to the last three, or four, by priority and relevance

My tip: simple fact to establish from the beginning or leave towards the end. A way to simplify for everyone. "I wasn't working yesterday"

That's it. They'll say: "bye" or I'll say "bye" Ushered out.

No hard feelings

 

[onehandclapping]

one I really dislike is "good morning" , yea i'll decide whether my morning is good or not thanks! I don't like having it imposed upon me like that. you could say its used to wish people a good morning, but people rarely say it to me in that tone. its mainly used as an acknowledgment of it being a good morning because in their mind and to them it is,therefore it must be for everyone else...
i've often noticed its the types of people who tend to look down upon others that say it to me,usually with a smug grin. this just reinforces the overall feeling of being patronized. its normally obvious in my appearance and behaviour that i'm feeling like crap or i'm uncomfortable.
if I have to reply I will reply with "morning" as it simply notes what time of the day it is or just "hello".