Silent anger

[Sial Axetder]

She is angry and outspoken. Her anger is known and voiced. I do not wish to anger her even more so I delve into a silence.

When I disagree, most times I do not make it known. Would rather be silent than provoke potential arguments.

Passive-aggression is crushing and debilitating for others around you. While I am finally realizing my passive-aggression and have read up on some techniques (which most on the interwebs are for people dealing with their friend's or life partner's PA) I don't know how to get past the realization stage to overcoming PA.

One site a gentleman states he has cured his or is on the road to recovery. But his blog simply states how he is now opposed to what he really did. He did mention he took control of himself but how he does not say.

Ideas to overcoming passive-aggressive behaviour?

 

[Lea]

Just say what you think, who says it needs to be in aggresive manner.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I may be wrong since I don't know how you are in real life, but you seem too caring and focused on doing no wrong to your girlfriend to be qualified as passive-agressive. Isn't it just you not liking fights and confrontation?

 

[Sial Axetder]

I may be wrong since I don't know how you are in real life, but you seem too caring and focused on doing no wrong to your girlfriend to be qualified as passive-agressive. Isn't it just you not liking fights and confrontation?

This is true. I don't like fights and confrontations.
Is it wrong to want to do no wrong?

 

[Robin Yiu]

This is true. I don't like fights and confrontations.
Is it wrong to want to do no wrong?

I feel to do no wrong and to do nothing are usually two different things. Doing no wrong sometimes means doing something difficult like confronting someone. Doing nothing when you should be standing your ground, tends to build up negative feelings. If you're someone who is afraid of confrontation, these feelings are sometimes expressed though passive aggressive behavior.

I think it would be difficult to get over passive aggressive behavior without getting over your avoidance of confrontations if the source of your PA is resentment. Same goes if your passive aggressive behavior is from low self-esteem.

Do you feel that when someone argues with you that they won't like you anymore or that they may leave you? Maybe you should look to see if theres a deeper reason that you avoid conflict, PA is maybe a symptom of something larger.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I feel to do no wrong and to do nothing are usually two different things. Doing no wrong sometimes means doing something difficult like confronting someone. Doing nothing when you should be standing your ground, tends to build up negative feelings. If you're someone who is afraid of confrontation, these feelings are sometimes expressed though passive aggressive behavior.

I think it would be difficult to get over passive aggressive behavior without getting over your avoidance of confrontations if the source of your PA is resentment. Same goes if your passive aggressive behavior is from low self-esteem.

Do you feel that when someone argues with you that they won't like you anymore or that they may leave you? Maybe you should look to see if theres a deeper reason that you avoid conflict, PA is maybe a symptom of something larger.

I fear rejection. Which stems from childhood. And yes I fear they won't like me if I confront them.

I can't really think when someone is angry toward me because they are impatient and demanding. That in turn makes me angry. If its a civil confrontation I can manage those better.