Shyness=Homosexuality?

[SalemEdgerton1]

I don't know about you guys, but I tend to be shy around girls more than anything, usually to the point of nausea and lightheadedness. At work and at school, I've had a number of people tell me they thought I was gay or got the "gay vibe" from me, but I don't really get how that could be since I don't really act like anything stereotypically gay. Am I missing something because I always thought the stereotype of homosexuality in men was the total opposite of shyness. Or maybe they thought I was filling the stereotypical role of a girl with being shy and modest, so they thought I was gay? I don't honestly know what to make of it and it always bothers me because if girls really think that then my chances are even further screwed up.

 

[♥ sweet kiss ♥]

Maybe it's not Shyness at all, perhaps it's you being Mysterious. If so then girls should be falling all over you ::

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

I wish. Be cool to get glomped by a bunch of girls on a frequent basis lol. Some girls might think the blushing to be cute but it doesn't really pan out at all. I think it's a litte bit of being mysterious maybe. People always ask me if I wear lipstick since my lips are so full and usually look red, so maybe that's why.

 

[bleach]

Pretty sure it has nothing to do with shyness, maybe you just act more effeminate than you realize.

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

Not really sure how I would. My voice is ridiculously deep and I don't really wear bright, flashy clothing lol.

 

[♥ sweet kiss ♥]

I wish. Be cool to get glomped by a bunch of girls on a frequent basis lol. Some girls might think the blushing to be cute but it doesn't really pan out at all. I think it's a litte bit of being mysterious maybe. People always ask me if I wear lipstick since my lips are so full and usually look red, so maybe that's why.

They ask if you wear lipstick? You must be a pretty boi lol Don't let a few comments some people say, change the way you think of yourself because I'm sure no one actually thinks that about you. Tell them to stop teasing you......or esle

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

They ask if you wear lipstick? You must be a pretty boi lol Don't let a few comments some people say, change the way you think of yourself because I'm sure no one actually thinks that about you. Tell them to stop teasing you......or esle

haha What can I say? I have my tendencies to be amazing sometimes lol. I try not, it just gets to me sometimes because I really want a girlfriend and I feel like this is just another thing to hinder that. I'm just glad my friends neither care nor ask as long as I'm their friend. Thanks for making me laugh sweet kiss.

 

[Jay Cataldo]

Hi Salem,

It may be the way you look or the cues you're giving off with your body language, but it's probably just the fact that nobody ever sees you hitting on girls so they assume you're in the closet. People are quick to label others who are a little bit different. Don't let it bother you. If they see it really gets to you, they may start to think it's true.

The next time someone says that, just laugh and say, "You think I'm gay? Really? LOL You must have the worst gay-dar on the planet. You really need to start watching re-runs of Queer Eye."

I've had girls accuse me of being gay because I never returned their phone calls or didn't try to sleep with them. Some women cant handle the blow to their ego and will lash out at a guy in the three worst ways possible to try to bolster their self-esteem.

And in case you're wondering what the three worst (maybe not the worst... but these are pretty rough lol) insults are...

1. You're horrible in bed
2. You're definitely gay
3. You have a tiny penis

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

haha the gay one is probably the only one that'd really bother me.

 

[Ericisme]

Yea, my step dad asked me if I liked girls..

 

[Rodox]

I get that too,I can understand why,there were a couple of girls that liked me but I didnt do anything,in fact I avoided them,because they were very attractive and I have trouble trusting girls who like me(this seems to be a common issue among SA suffers).
I dont act like an "alpha male" and you will hardly ever see me around girls my age,in one job people gossiped like crazy,I gave one guy a ride home once,that was awkward, when I was shifting gears the guy would kind of panic,I like girls so much that I avoid them,people are bigots, I cant imagine the suffering Homosexual people go through.

 

[TooShyShy]

Why avoid a pretty girl that really likes you??? You'll never get over the crippling fear - which is causing the panic & avoidence within you..if you do try, whats the worse thing that can happen???

Yeah, that behavior will get people talking i'm afraid..especially if they NEVER SEE YOU with a girl..or talk to a girl or do any dating..its human nature sadly for them to assume that maybe girls just aren't your thing :-(

 

[Chrysalis]

It's probably just because you are shy and perhaps they are used to being around the upfront, alpha-males?

Being shy / cautious / love-shy doesn't make you gay - don't worry

 

[StonedBob]

I have the same problems as you... It's just that people see that you seem to avoid girls, act maybe weirdly with them. They're just judging you by what they see, but the truth is they don't know or cannot understand the reasons that make you act like this. What you can do is tell your close friends (if you're enough confident with them) how you feel (terribly anxious around girls) and just ignore the other people. If some girls are rejecting you because they think you're gay, without knowing you, well ignore them also, they're not worth it.

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

Fortunately I haven't had any girls I was attracted to say that to me, but it's been a lot of like co-workers and acquaintances that said it. But I think you guys are right, I'm not a macho man in any way.

 

[Jay Cataldo]

Fortunately I haven't had any girls I was attracted to say that to me, but it's been a lot of like co-workers and acquaintances that said it. But I think you guys are right, I'm not a macho man in any way.

You don't need to be a macho man to be attractive. Check out the book "The Art Of Seduction" by Robert Greene and look up the seducer archetype "The Dandy." Dandies dress and act VERY effeminate and can still get laid like crazy.

Not saying you're a dandy, but just wanted to offer up some perspective. What's considered attractive about a man varies from woman to woman.

 

[SalemEdgerton1]

There isn't a "dork" archetype? lol I'm probably screwed then. I'll check it out though thanks!

 

[Havocan]

Isn't this what they call love-shyness?

 

[Jay Cataldo]

There isn't a "dork" archetype? lol I'm probably screwed then. I'll check it out though thanks!

There is, actually. The "dork" is known for his ability to seduce unsuspecting female World Of Warcraft enthusiasts by selling them on the perks of a virtual relationship.

 

[TheNewZero]

My family is constantly asking me if I'm gay because I've never had a boyfriend. It makes me sort of angry because I really don't think that homosexuality should be used as something negative. I tell them it doesn't matter, and never give them a definite answer because they shouldn't be bothered by it. I hate when people in my classes, especially boys, use it negatively. We had to do powerpoint presentations in one of my classes and one guy, after showing a few clips that had a few famous male celebrities, felt the need to say, 'I'm not gay or anything'. Ugh. Okay, sorry, back to the topic. Who cares? I mean, maybe if girls think you're gay, but honestly as a woman, I'm attracted to more...erm, guys who are on the fence. I think the guys at your office are just being rude, close-minded jerks who are uncomfortable about their own sexuality and therefore feel the need to try to insult you. I wouldn't be worried about it, anyways. Women aren't going to shun you if you seem gay, quite the opposite for many women.