Shyness/anxiety/avoidance, what fits?

[Bronson99]

I'm new here. I have social anxiety, but also issues with shyness, avoidance, and so on. I think a lot of these traits overlap with one another, thus making it difficult to figure out which forum works best for the issues I'd like to discuss.

I'm also looking to discuss the quite rare issue of difficulty meeting, or perhaps even talking to, a girl. I thought perhaps such issues might fit better in the "shyness" forum; when you get right down to it, I suppose the core problem that prevents me from interacting with the fairer sex is shyness.

I hope this place is the haven I've been looking for, where we can discuss these things without fear of ridicule.

 

[planemo]

Firstly welcome to the forum. I don't think it's all that necessary to find the right sub-forum to post your difficulties with shyness, avoidance etc, since as you you say they tend to overlap quite a bit. I too suffer from extreme shyness when it comes to interacting with members of the opposite sex, as do others here so there's no need to feel shy :bigsmile: about posting on this website for fear of ridicule about this or any other issues.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Welcome,
You can discuss pretty much anything here without being considered as weird
And yes, a lot of these issues overlap, so don't worry too much about which forum to choose to create your thread. I don't think it matters much

 

[sahxox]

I think they do all overlap like everyone else is agreeing. This forum is a great place to discuss such things with people who are going through the same/similar issues. As the motto goes, it's comforting to know that you're not alone.

 

[bigcat1967]

They do overlap - bottom line is that you have social anxiety. Social anxiety in a way is shyness.

 

[Bronson99]

I guess this place just isn't too busy these days, eh?

Is it seasonal, or should my threads go in the main "Social Anxiety" forum where more people will read and reply to them?

 

[Sial Axetder]

Rare, huh?

Here discussions about meeting a girl happen in, sometimes, rampant collisions.
Women are much like men. They like, they hate, they love, they don't love, they want to know men just like men want to know women.

You're right. SA, AvPD and shyness do overlap. AvPD being the worse of the trio or a combination of SA, SP and shyness.

 

[vj288]

As everyone above said, I wouldn't worry much about what forum you put your threads. To be completely honest, I am not sure what forum half the threads I post in are in anyway, I just look at them all at once

On this site, and in general I think, you'll find that guys having trouble with girls/being shy around girls is a very normal problem. I'd say it's probably one of the most discussed topics on this site, and there are plenty of old threads you can look through for help as well as posting your own. The "friendship and love" forum is probably a great place to start. Good luck!

 

[Bronson99]

I think maybe I should just forget the idea completely.

I hate when I read posts from people who have everything together, and it's like, I'm such a little kid in every way. I feel like a little kid in a world of people who have it all together.

I believe I am asking for something I cannot have. I think perhaps it was a mistake to come out of my shell and try talking to people online again, I should head back to fantasy-land, close off, and forget about people. The opposite sex is beyond me, of course; to even think otherwise, may be delusion.

I just can't get myself out of first gear, in anything! It has to be related to executive dysfunction, but nobody gets that, and no one cares!

I'm in a few different forums all of a sudden and I just find myself HATING reading the posts of people who have it all together. Just hate it. It raises my anxiety and I start self-loathing again...!

 

[Odo]

I'm in a few different forums all of a sudden and I just find myself HATING reading the posts of people who have it all together. Just hate it. It raises my anxiety and I start self-loathing again...!

What's 'all together'?

 

[Bronson99]

Meh. This place is just not active enough.

 

[Sial Axetder]

It's plenty active enough.

 

[Bronson99]

It's plenty active enough.

Most certainly not.

Or at least, no one cares for my writing style, which has a lot of self-deprecation in it. So that's a reason to not reply in a place where people are actively looking for help? I would think introspection and honesty should be rewarded.

 

[mikebird]

the 'all together':

Deja vu

getting your stuff together / organised - your thoughts / baggage

experiencing / sharing shoulder-to-sholder