shy guys
- Thread starter Anonymous
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Anonymous
Well-known member
They'll look at you a lot. Or try to 
. You might notice that they are always turning away from you right as you glance at them.
They may often "end up" near you, hoping that you might notice them and remove the pressure of starting the conversation.
If you do get to talking, you may hit it off great, but he still may not "make a move" of any kind unless/until you give him some unmistakable signals. We may very well notice subtle ones, but will tend to convince ourselves that they were imaginary.
They may blush when you start talking.
Tip to girls everywhere: Try talking to the quieter guys who aren't trying to pick up every girl around the bar .
. You might notice that they are always turning away from you right as you glance at them.They may often "end up" near you, hoping that you might notice them and remove the pressure of starting the conversation.
If you do get to talking, you may hit it off great, but he still may not "make a move" of any kind unless/until you give him some unmistakable signals. We may very well notice subtle ones, but will tend to convince ourselves that they were imaginary.
They may blush when you start talking.
Tip to girls everywhere: Try talking to the quieter guys who aren't trying to pick up every girl around the bar
.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
What if your both too shy or both suffer from SP?
When i catch a guy looking in my direction i get all paranoid thinking he's looking at me cause I'm ugly...how do you tell the difference?
Geez, I'm 31 and couldnt flirt or even notice someone flirting with me if my life depended on it, yet i can tell when others are flirting with others. Damn paranoia!!!
When i catch a guy looking in my direction i get all paranoid thinking he's looking at me cause I'm ugly...how do you tell the difference?
Geez, I'm 31 and couldnt flirt or even notice someone flirting with me if my life depended on it, yet i can tell when others are flirting with others. Damn paranoia!!!
FruitLooPs
Well-known member
For some guys its near on impossible to tell, like me for example.
Sure I do the eye thing, but i'm not half as stupid as I would appear on the outside and I often pickup on almost painfully blantent attempts on the girls part to have me make a move ... yet I still don't - and it's not from lack of wanting believe me. I just can't, i'm just too scared of what they will think. I hate those situations, where you know you're sposed to do something - its obvious, but you still don't.
In the end they eventually get the (wrong) message that i'm just not interested in them, which sucks completely :evil: Especially if you know them pretty well, and even know for sure they like you and it's nearly an impossiblity that they would turn you down, but still can't bring yourself to call them or make a move etc.
It's even worse again if you know the person still and see them disappear off with someone else because they assume you aren't interested, even though you know they liked you more at one stage than the person they are now off with ...
You can't blame them really though, theres only so much one sided flirting you can do I spose .. Heck if I was in there position and that happened I know what I would assume .. :?
Has to be one of the most frustrating things ever!
God I hate the way my brain works sometimes hah :lol:
Sure I do the eye thing, but i'm not half as stupid as I would appear on the outside and I often pickup on almost painfully blantent attempts on the girls part to have me make a move ... yet I still don't - and it's not from lack of wanting believe me. I just can't, i'm just too scared of what they will think. I hate those situations, where you know you're sposed to do something - its obvious, but you still don't.
In the end they eventually get the (wrong) message that i'm just not interested in them, which sucks completely :evil: Especially if you know them pretty well, and even know for sure they like you and it's nearly an impossiblity that they would turn you down, but still can't bring yourself to call them or make a move etc.
It's even worse again if you know the person still and see them disappear off with someone else because they assume you aren't interested, even though you know they liked you more at one stage than the person they are now off with ...
You can't blame them really though, theres only so much one sided flirting you can do I spose .. Heck if I was in there position and that happened I know what I would assume .. :?
Has to be one of the most frustrating things ever!
God I hate the way my brain works sometimes hah :lol:
Anonymous
Well-known member
Yeah Fruitloops, I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm a pretty shy guy and I've always been intimidated by most girls. I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend, or really any serious friends of my own for that matter, but there were lots of girls I liked a lot, but never had the guts to say more than a few words to, even if it seemed like they liked me.
Through highschool there was a girl I liked a lot and sometimes I'd try to talk to her and it really seemed like she liked me, but I would always try to act cool around her and it made me really nervous and i would say something stupid or irrelevant. As much as I wanted to get to know her I hated the feeling of nervousness I'd get being around her or if I knew she saw me, so most of the time I would try to avoid her or pretend i didn't see her if she was looking at me. Like you said, this probably gave her the wrong message, that i wasn't interested in her, so nothing happened and then i started seeing her with lots of other guys.
This is really how it is with any girl i Like.
Through highschool there was a girl I liked a lot and sometimes I'd try to talk to her and it really seemed like she liked me, but I would always try to act cool around her and it made me really nervous and i would say something stupid or irrelevant. As much as I wanted to get to know her I hated the feeling of nervousness I'd get being around her or if I knew she saw me, so most of the time I would try to avoid her or pretend i didn't see her if she was looking at me. Like you said, this probably gave her the wrong message, that i wasn't interested in her, so nothing happened and then i started seeing her with lots of other guys.
This is really how it is with any girl i Like.
lifesnotfair
Well-known member
i know what you mean, but i am so shy that i couldn't even look women in the eye, and i have never had even a girl that i was interested in like me back..
FruitLooPs
Well-known member
Nital said:
haha you actually sound very simliar to me, I too am 18 never had a GF or really any chick friends.
I too at highschool had a girl I really liked, but she always looked real angry - she gave me her ph no (!) one day out of the blue, I hadn't asked - hell I dont think I'd even really talked to her. I sat next to her in a class for a whole year with nothing said between us cept can i borrow a pen maybe twice at best.
I never rang that number, I was 16 at the time and just couldn't find the confidence to do it. I always will regret that. I could always find a little something to do and i'd tell myself I would call her, or no maybe tomorrow - of course that day never came, damn procrastination...
After a week I thought hell its been a week, I can't ring now - what will she think ... about a week after that she went out with some other guy from my form. She was with him all the way through until 7th form 2 years later, and she avoided me like the plague for the rest of school.
One time I recall walking into our common room and only she was there, she quickly grabbed her books upped and left - I dont actually recall saying a single word to her for the remainder of school. :? I always felt bad that I never rang her, she seemed to be sad for years because of it - and I felt bad beacuse I had missed an oppertunity you don't often come across. Overall I found that I seemed to hurt chicks if they tried to get close to me, so I kinda just didn't really socialise too much with them.
Since then, other girls have taken my interest but I've still never done anything about it, or have had my trust betrayed before I've had the chance.
But gotta keep positive about these things, I'm sure I'll find someone (my track record to date would say otherwise :wink: )- I am getting slightly more confident around girls, ones I find less attractive or are taken are easier to talk to I find - less pressure on me about how I come across what I say/did not say risk of hurting them etc.
I dont start a conversation with a girl, but if i'm asked something i'll reply - if I know them I might ask something else back, depends on how i feel I sposeWhew thats one massive post, sorry - I've gotta sleep anyway. Got biological assessment to done on me - arrrg needles :evil:
Anonymous
Well-known member
Hi all,
I am too a shy guy. I get some interest often at nightclubs. However I often doubt myself and wish I could say what she wanted to hear if only to have a decent conversation. Again I find myself looking to try and impress her and often falling into a pit. I am socially anxious and have no immediate cures. However, when I just be myself or am confident in who I am, girls tend to respond more. Basically what I am trying to say (and listen to myself is) is that love yourself and don't care what girls think of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just a thought
I am too a shy guy. I get some interest often at nightclubs. However I often doubt myself and wish I could say what she wanted to hear if only to have a decent conversation. Again I find myself looking to try and impress her and often falling into a pit. I am socially anxious and have no immediate cures. However, when I just be myself or am confident in who I am, girls tend to respond more. Basically what I am trying to say (and listen to myself is) is that love yourself and don't care what girls think of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just a thought
Nital
Member
That's good advice johnoo but it's easier said than done, For me at least anyway. I've always tried to tell myself not to care what anyone else thinks about me, and just be myself, but it just doesn't work. There's always a nagging feeling that every little thing i do will affect others opinions of me in a negative way. I've gotten a lot better in recent years, but its still there to some degree.
I'm even worse, 22 and never had a gf, nor even been close to a girl in my life. Sure, I've had girls I've liked over the years, but there's no way I could ever say anything, I get all flustered jes being around girls. If I even try to talk, I'll start stuttering and blush, it's so annoying.
Dill
Well-known member
Hey u guys are lucky. At least u had girls at ur school.
I went to a all boys boarding school. ( Parents put me there cos I never left the house)
So I had no women skills whatsoever. But I later realised that women are friendlier than men. So I find them much easier to talk to than talking to men.
Most women like men who are different. So being shy has a plus.
I went to a all boys boarding school.
( Parents put me there cos I never left the house) So I had no women skills whatsoever. But I later realised that women are friendlier than men. So I find them much easier to talk to than talking to men.
Most women like men who are different. So being shy has a plus.
blank
Active member
shyboy1 said:I beat you all - going on 21, one good friend, never even close to getting a gf. I have social phobia, so yeah. I can understand everything you guys are saying.
Not really. Actually, I'm the virgin king baby ! 32 in a few weeks .
HA !
( I'm trying to brag about it instead of complain ! )
Anonymous
Well-known member
Hello
Well I'm a female (age 22) and I have only ever had one boyfriend, who I'm still with, I met him just after I left school. I was bullied alot at school for being a "geek".......*blush* (that is still embarrasing for me to admitt). I see all the "popular", confident, mouthy girls (who bullied me) still even today needless to say most have been young teenage Mothers and have kids to numerous Fathers.
In my experience I suffered greatly at school for being shy and anti-social with girls and mainly boys but I think it made me a better person in one respect.
You all seem like lovely guys/girls and I'm sure you'll meet someone special soon, just be patient.
Well I'm a female (age 22) and I have only ever had one boyfriend, who I'm still with, I met him just after I left school. I was bullied alot at school for being a "geek".......*blush* (that is still embarrasing for me to admitt). I see all the "popular", confident, mouthy girls (who bullied me) still even today needless to say most have been young teenage Mothers and have kids to numerous Fathers.
In my experience I suffered greatly at school for being shy and anti-social with girls and mainly boys but I think it made me a better person in one respect.
You all seem like lovely guys/girls and I'm sure you'll meet someone special soon, just be patient.
Anonymous
Well-known member
:lol: ehe...i loved this girl since i was in grade 9 when i was back in high school and she loved me too...but i never got to tell my love.. ...u noe we never talked at all..but we got to know each other by comunicating with our eyes....cute eh? :wink: ....but that sucked...never realy got togher...
...u noe we never talked at all..but we got to know each other by comunicating with our eyes....cute eh? :wink: ....but that sucked...never realy got togher...
GettingThere
Well-known member
spicey said:
If you study body language you should be able to pick up on these things quite quickly. Sometimes someone who is interested in you, or at least interested in becoming your friend, will mirror you actions. By that I mean that if you place a hand on say the back of your head, then the other person does the same without thinking about it. There are lots of other things too. "Body Language" by Alan Pease, is a good book on the subject.