Should I or shouldn't I?

[LonelyLeaf]

An old aquaintance of mine asked me a few months back to come and visit him and his girlfriend and I said I would think about it..well here's the deal: I'm scared %&/% about seeing him, because we haven't seen each other for years and because of my SA I'm VERY nervous about his reaction and whether he'll accept me..I feel like it's nearly impossible for me to go and visit him..what if I just sit there and do and say nothing?!

On the other hand I don't want to miss out on an opportunity to socialize if I can...

 

[CK23]

I think you should go... Even if you dont say much dont worry... it's not like all of us are talking machines!!! Just being there might improve your social situation... who knows when you reach home there may be another aqquaintance who wants to hang out with you... Cheers!

 

[LonelyLeaf]

Also do you think I should tell him about my SA or do you think this would scare him off forever?

 

[kt2222]

yeh definatley nothing to be ashamed about just bring it up in conversation.

to be honest i have found that when i do that it takes the presure off completley!

i bet once you tell him and his girlfriend you prob wont have it in the front of your mind when you visit!!

go have some fun ! :lol:

 

[carsickcars]

go for it. hanging out with old friends is always fun, because even if you don't have much to talk about you can still reminisce about all the fun times you had together. btw i wouldn't bring up SA in the conversation, especially since you haven't seen him in a while. i'd save that for another time.

 

[kt2222]

see i think that is silly obviously you gage the situation, but would you have a problem saying i suffer migraines or another more commonly excepted conditions.

There is nothing wrong with our problems and to be honest if a old friend new friend etc doesnt understand and backs off because of it it's better to find that out from the start rather than waiting weeks or months down the line.

dont be ashamed of it or worried what people will say ... as much as we wish we didnt have this.. it's what makes us ..us.

Fobbing a friend of with a fake reality will only make it more difficult in the long run to tell them.

so get it out the way as soon as possible x

 

[Richey]

kt2222: technically you are right it shouldn't be an issue but you know what people are like? it could dampen the mood if its brought up straight away, focus on the positives first and perhaps save the "heart on your sleeve" moments for another time, thats how i'd approach it on first visit

 

[kayelle]

I would recommend that if you do get a bit anxious then I you should say it. Maybe you have to excuse yourself for a few minutes, just say I get some anxiety, especially in social situations, but I'll be fine in a few minutes.
I agree with kt2222, you should say it if you want to. Get rid of the stupid fuckin stigma around mental health problems. If I had something like diabetes or epilepsy (I'm just trying to think of long-term physical problems), people would be running around trying to help me, and asking me how I am, but since it's a mental health problem everyone skirts around the issue and it makes me so pissed off! Grr.
LonelyLeaf, if you don't make a big deal about it when you mention it, then it won't be a big deal. Just mention it briefly and move on. But you shouldn't have to avoid the issue.

And yes, you should definitely go visit! :lol: