I can totally sympathize-I was once totally phobic of any stage- it was terrifying. I would get violent migraine headaches and be sick for days. I had to overcome it or quit, so here are a few ideas from someone who has been there. You need a bucket full of techniques because sometimes one method works and another time it won't work, so you need to pull out a different technique. Keep them together in a little notebook, or on your phone. You won't remember them because our memory is impaired when we're frightened. Once I figured out how to quiet the terror I actually began teaching a number of classes on different dimensions of social phobias and anxiety. I thought no one should have to suffer so much being around ones own species!
1. Depedestalize your audience- bring them down. If I was on a tv show I envisioned the audience sitting around talking, yelling at the kids, eating pizza, barely paying any attention to the tv, burping, picking their noses. I did a workshop once for school principals, ( I was terrified of my own principal- these were the authority figures of my childhood...) I pretended they had all just gotten out of psychiatric wards and I was so happy to see them. Of course, that wasn't all- I wore clothes that I was comfortable in, I wrote out every single word I was going to say- I never depended on my impaired memory. Fixed role is another method- I couldn't stand in front of that group- but who do I know who could? I would pretend I was that person- how did they walk, look at people. You see, we have a tool that many people don't have-- a vivid imagination- because we have spent so much time in fantasy rather than reality. Here's another; a broad perspective; what difference is it going to make 100 years from now? People don't have time to scrutinize me- their heads are filled with themselves- their unpaid bills, their constipation, their worries and doubts..
There's also some medication they gave to people who played in orchestras to try- I can't remember any more the name of it- maybe members here can recall it- but it quieted down physiological symptoms. I never tried it because I never did well with meds- I was too allergic. So- there are many more ideas- drop your goals- just get thru it- no criticism even if you fell in the jello........ Cheers to you!
