Mudvayne
Member
Heya People,
I'm Tom. I've dealt with anxiety since I was 15, so 5 years now, it's only in the last 2 years I developed agoraphobia, I'm pretty much housebound and have been for about a year and a half, my life is in my room, I only venture out once or twice a week for a 5 minute ride to the video shop, and travel to see my psychotherapist once a fortnight, a 20minute drive away, to do this I take 20 to 30Milligrams of valium and even then I may still have an attack (4 to 6 tablets), I see 2 therapists none of which seem to help, I hear the same thing everytime I see a new docter. So I've missed out on what 2 years should have been my best, I had a g/f for a year while I had agoraphobia, she dumped me and I don't blame her, I never once went out with her in that time. 5 months later and she has a new b/f, I use to be able to get over someone pretty quick but when you have nothing else to think about, well it hurts, I noticed some people here like to be lonely, I don't, I fell in love when I was 15 now I feel like half a person without her, she contacts me still but I won't let her see me due to my anxiety, everyday for me is the same as yesterday and tommorow, I constantly shake, always sweating, always going hot and cold, I feel as though I only exist, nothing more nothing less, I'm a kind person, to anyone who does get to meet me they pretty much would geuss I'm just like anyone else, see I was a lead singer/guitarist of a band, a band that was becoming big...I left due to my illness, I was also a freestyle bmx rider and was very good at it, I used to go out and have a drink with my mates and laugh, now I live in the movies, this may sound pathetic but they keep me at what I would call a happy medium. To finish off, Love...it's what I miss in life, that feeling of protection, feeling whole and deliriously happy. Cheers Tom
I'm Tom. I've dealt with anxiety since I was 15, so 5 years now, it's only in the last 2 years I developed agoraphobia, I'm pretty much housebound and have been for about a year and a half, my life is in my room, I only venture out once or twice a week for a 5 minute ride to the video shop, and travel to see my psychotherapist once a fortnight, a 20minute drive away, to do this I take 20 to 30Milligrams of valium and even then I may still have an attack (4 to 6 tablets), I see 2 therapists none of which seem to help, I hear the same thing everytime I see a new docter. So I've missed out on what 2 years should have been my best, I had a g/f for a year while I had agoraphobia, she dumped me and I don't blame her, I never once went out with her in that time. 5 months later and she has a new b/f, I use to be able to get over someone pretty quick but when you have nothing else to think about, well it hurts, I noticed some people here like to be lonely, I don't, I fell in love when I was 15 now I feel like half a person without her, she contacts me still but I won't let her see me due to my anxiety, everyday for me is the same as yesterday and tommorow, I constantly shake, always sweating, always going hot and cold, I feel as though I only exist, nothing more nothing less, I'm a kind person, to anyone who does get to meet me they pretty much would geuss I'm just like anyone else, see I was a lead singer/guitarist of a band, a band that was becoming big...I left due to my illness, I was also a freestyle bmx rider and was very good at it, I used to go out and have a drink with my mates and laugh, now I live in the movies, this may sound pathetic but they keep me at what I would call a happy medium. To finish off, Love...it's what I miss in life, that feeling of protection, feeling whole and deliriously happy. Cheers Tom
