Sensitive to Everything

[this_portrait]

A couple nights ago, I had an emotional breakdown from having difficulty finding a new job.

I really wonder if there's more than that weighing down on me. I've noticed that I've been growing sick of feeling anger or disappointment. Reading the news, articles posted on my Facebook front page, or debates over controversial topics all provoke these emotions. I've cut down on viewing these things a lot over the past couple weeks, and if I start reading them, I eventually stop because I don't want to feel that way.

This, coming from a cynic who was desensitized from all the negative sh*t a long time ago...

Now I can barely stand any of it. I'm increasingly immersing myself in material things as a way to avoid triggers, and today I wanted to burst into tears on more than one occasion, for reasons I don't know.

I've also been particularly miserable over my lack of communication skills. I don't like communicating like a normal person. It just doesn't feel natural, and I don't think it ever will. I'm probably jeopardizing so many potential jobs and friendships because of this, yet I hate the thought of falling into a norm because it pleases everyone else.

God, I wish I knew what my problem was.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I used to be obsessed with debating over controversial topics. But, those topics also tend to depress me as well (or other viewpoints). I try to keep away from negative TV stories (same reason I also avoid Facebook). Hearing about murders or rapes could really put me in a deep funk.

Eventually, I'll be back in the workplace. I was fine (for the most part) at my other job, so I should be fine again. But, the thought of a busy office feels overwhelming. Especially if I have to work with jerks as I have in the past.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Another issue. I feel with my SA, I can only advance so far in a career. I just don't socialize enough with upper management and I can get very awkward around them at times! So, it's like a glass ceiling, I will only go so far in life.

That thought really disturbs and depresses me.............I don't know what to do.

 

[this_portrait]

Surprisingly, I do better in more professional situations than casual ones. Easier to fake it, it's more impersonal, no emotional involvement... Granted, it's far from perfect, but it's nowhere near as bad as casual social situations.

 

[squidgee]

Sorry to hear you're feeling down, I can definitely relate to some of what you said. I'm not sensitive to everything, but one thing that I really overthink and overreact to is criticism, I just can't stand it. Anyway, I wish you good luck in your job seeking and hope you feel better soon.

 

[fate12321]

I know how you feel i use to feel that
Same way but dont worry things will get better

 

[this_portrait]

Well, today is... I don't know, all right, I suppose. Just got home from work, and I got to get in a little more time because there were a lot of book requests. I nearly became overwhelmed by it all, but managed to calm myself down before I started becoming irritable.

I must also mention that my breakdown Friday night was preceded by a rather happy mood. I started the day feeling fine, and then over time I just started feeling more and more depressed until I finally snapped.

I don't understand these random mood changes sometimes.

 

[90freefallin]

your problems sound much like me on bad days. everyone can have a few bad days, weeks, months...but it gets better sooner or later.
but i totally get what you are saying if it helps i consider it quite normal

 

[Plan9]

I think think that being unhappy in a job and looking for a new one is very tough emotionally. i say this as I am going through a simmilar thing. You work so hard on applications and interviews and finding jobs to apply for in the first place. You put yourself out for rejection...

No wonder your more sensitive.

 

[Lea]

So you got work after all?

 

[this_portrait]

So you got work after all?

No, I do have a job, but it's extremely part-time and (on average) I get barely 12 hours every week. It also only pays just a little over minimum wage. While I'm grateful that I have it, it's really hard to pay my bills, so I've been trying to find a full-time job that pays more.