This is an excellent thread that's just brimming with interesting insights.
Thanks to all contributors.
Oingo Boingo.
Hooray for the Mystic Nights of the Oingo Boingo!
renegade_reloaded said:
↑Never thought of it that way, as looking at yourself as 2 distinct identities: one that has SP and one that doesn't, one helpless and one that has the power to help the other. My therapist is trying to make me see my other self.
She says to me that I have 2 egos: one that is strong, cruel, and has high expectations, and the other one, that cant do what the ''boss'' says. So she said to me the solution is not to kill the helpless one, like I though, but to bring the 2 sides of me toghether and try to bring them to peace: one has to lower the expectation of the other, and the second one has to meet those expectations, thats when I have founded my true self.
And I have pretty much lost my true self cause in the last years I threw away all my principles, conceptions, my own ideeas, interests, my true self in the quest to be like the others and be accepted by them. Acting had been pretty much what I had done and at one point in my life I though that acting has changed my true self to be more like the others, and I though I was on the right track, but I was wrong...:🙁:
So now I have a quest to try to find peace between my 2 identities. Dunno if what I said had made any sense.
That made perfect sense to me! I've had the same sort of thing going on. Thankfully, you can never destroy the real
you, and believe me, I've tried and come pretty close. It's so hard when you do that to distinguish between what is really you and what is just what you decided you
should be.
I don't really know about the idea of having two egos, I look at it a bit differently. For me, there is only one ego. The ego is the part of you that tries to find a way to identify with the world and it's also the part that is cruel and awful. But that other part, the part that is beautiful and true, that is the REAL you. I don't think of it as another ego, I think of it as just a light inside myself, inside everyone. It's what we embodied as children, which is why nurturing it using the inner child stuff as a tool seems so applicable. I try to remember that my ego is constantly trying to figure out who I am using material things, like how many friends I have or how much art I make or how I dress. The ego isn't bad, it just shouldn't control your life. If you can witness it, realize it's there and watch what it's doing without judgment, then you can begin to see the other part of you. It's so hard, though. I'm no where near that point, there's far too much nasty judgment rolling around in my head. That's why the inner child work is so helpful to me right now. Just trying to change my ego's sense on my identity, so that it identifies with good things, rather than bad. So that my sense of self is wrapped up in what a good person I am. That's what I'm working towards.
I had a really hard time getting into this inner child stuff. It's taken months and months for me to really understand what the hell I'm supposed to do. But I feel like I've finally got a handle on it. I wrote all about how I came to understand it in my blog, if you'd like to check it out. Here's a link
Little me Over Under
I hope that helps, but everyone is different and you may have to find your own way to that "ah-ha!" moment
🙂
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