Saying F*** Off to Society

[thequietone]

It is damaging to compare ourselves to the mainstream. It will only make us feel crappy, so I agree on that point. If only there was a way to simply accept ourselves for who we are without hating the individuals who represents the mainstream. Just accept them and accept ourselves. We're all different. The end.....yeah... easier said than done :roll: but I think it's worth a shot.

 

[cLavain]

It is damaging to compare ourselves to the mainstream. It will only make us feel crappy, so I agree on that point. If only there was a way to simply accept ourselves for who we are without hating the individuals who represents the mainstream. Just accept them and accept ourselves. We're all different. The end.....yeah... easier said than done :roll: but I think it's worth a shot.

Yes, unfortunately, lack of confidence is often at the root of SA. *sigh*

In my experience, though (at least as an adult), most people will respond kindly to you if you behave kindly to them. But if they don't, or they take advantage of your kindness, then I support Horatio's advice 100%. Bending over backwards for others or showing them that their contempt hurt you, will only lessen their respect for you further, especially if you're a man. Therefore, I try to stand my ground when it really matters.

So, I guess what I'm saying is: Give every individual a chance before you decide to hate them.

 

[LeapFrog]

Society isn't fucking you, you're just fucking yourself with SA. Guys the "fuck society" thing won't help your SA at all.

 

[B]

Some of these posts......look, most people don't give a shit about what you wear, think, feel etc. I sure as fuck don't walk around looking at complete strangers and thinking about how they should dress or how they should feel. I don't give a rat's ass about whether I can control other people. I suspect nobody else gives a rat's ass what I think either. I don't even expect the majority on this forum to so much as glance at this post of mine; most will just read the original post and maybe throw in their two cents (the vast majority will just lurk). To anybody on this forum who thinks they've 'got it all figured out' and that the rest of humanity are just mindless sheep, it's time to grow up. If you DIDN'T fall for some nonsensical bullshit in your life, you wouldn't be coming to this forum. You wouldn't be telling others you have SA or SP or whatever.

There is such a loser/victim mentality permeating this forum. So few people here actually do anything about their situation. It's not society's fault you won't open the Yellow Pages and find some help for yourself. Granted, there are people on this forum who are in such a horrible mess that therapy, whether spoken or administered in pill form, is not going to help them. To those people, what I'm saying obviously doesn't apply. I suppose that goes without saying, as they HAVE tried to get help, it just hasn't worked out for them. There's only so much 'venting' a person can do in a forum before it crosses the line from therapeutic to just plain bitching.

To those of you who don't plan to make a lifelong hobby out of crying over the shitty hand that fate has dealt you I would suggest finding another forum with a theme that is a little more in line with things you actually enjoy about life. Coming clean and telling somebody about your social anxiety in this forum can be beneficial, not to mention relieving. We need to tell somebody. Great. We've told somebody. Next step is to tell someone who can actually help you, because people suffering from SA and making that the defining condition of their existence as so many here do CAN NOT help you.

People tend to become more like the people they surround themselves with. I think I'm going to spend more time around people who are going in the same direction I'm going. To those of you seeking help, I wish you the best (and for those of you with especially low incomes, mention that to potential therapists. Many of them will make arrangements to accomodate you). To those of you trying to work it out on your own, I hope you succeed, but you'll get there quicker with someone who knows what they're doing working with you. To those who are pissed off at the world, get over it. Fast. And to those who refuse to seek help because it will mean you 'lost'....you already lost. You wouldn't STILL be visiting SA forums if you hadn't. Don't be a dumbass. Get help.

Well this has been a lengthy post. Considering the number of people who will actually read it it probably wasn't worth the effort. Anyway, I've said all I needed to say. Toodles.

 

[black_mamba]

Considering the number of people who will actually read it it probably wasn't worth the effort.

Why do people always do that at the end of a long post either apologise or moan about it? Don't worry, plenty of people will read it.

Ah 'ratio 'ratio. What to do...

I think you're a great person (and hopefully you know I don't talk bullcrap) and I would love to have you as a real life friend :lol: (unless you're a robot). Not sure what you were looking for when you posted this, guidance, advice, whatever, all I can think is that I hope you don't become bitter and twisted because of this new found confidence to say 'fuk u!'

Actually on second thoughts a robot friend would be awesome...

 

[Dysfunct]

When someone makes a statement like "fuck society" they don't (usually) mean every single person on the planet. It's a generalization. If we had to type out the specifics of the type of people we hate it would be very lengthy when the meaning should be implicit. When I say "everyone wants to control you" do I actually mean every individual? No. There are many people who are accepting or indifferent, I'm not referring to them. Even if this is bitching, so what? It's therapeutic to relate to other people who feel the same anger. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the whole purpose of forums like this was having discussions with other people who you can relate to. I wasn't aware this was just a place to make a public announcement of your SA before you proceed with finding help (why bother?). It seems to me anytime someone posts expressing anything but a 100% positive upbeat attitude about anything someone comes along and tells them to basically "stfu and stop being a emo loser". Apparently we have no right to express anything negative.

 

[Horatio]

thanks to all whom replied to my post. I had written a great big reply addressing everybody's questions and comments but the internet monster ate it before it was posted and I went on a one week forum strike in retaliation :evil:

I just wanted to give you guys an update on where things are at since adopting my new stance.... many of you interpereted my saying f*** off to society as a negative or backwards step but it has proven to be far from it

Since changing my attitude about two weeks prior to my original post here my life has been dramatically different, not so much from the outside but how I interperet it. it has been amazing to see a turn around on so many things i used to think were negative that I now see as strengths

in the last month I have....

- had a beautiful girl randomly walk up to and sit next to me at a bar and talk with me for 5 hours! Mostly about religion, her home and the city we lived in. This probably doesnt sound like much but I had never ever ever had a girl walk up to me like that before. admittingly I had had a few drinks but the surprising thing was that she hadn't!

- walked into town by myself (a 50 minute walk down a busy road which would normally be far too intimidating for me)

- talked to and been out for a social lunch or dinner with 5 different people from work

- attended 7 film festival screenings with company each time

- made a girl serving at a cafe laugh when making a joke at the counter and then found her to be very friendly and talkative when she came over with my meal later on

- I randomly applied for a job in the Middle East. Ok this might sound totally absurd but I think this was a big step for me and helped to contribute to my new attitude. one day I was all fed up, partially by my frustration at trying to fit into society and partially by the then bombing of Lebanon where a good internet friend of mine lived. I mentioned to my therapist that I was thinking of trying to get some work over there. The next day I saw a job advertised for my line of work at an Arabic television station so what could i do but apply for it! This really liberated me, even though Im yet to hear back from them. It helped me to realise that I dont have to be part of western society, even if I live in the middle of it. since then I think I have lived as if I have already left.

- the same week as the above an idea of mine sold and is likely to be made into a television series next year

- I initiated a meeting with a producer who is interested in a film proposal of mine

- Recently applied for another contract in the UK

- Met another random girl last week at a social gathering and chatted for an hour

- Went to watch a rugby match at a corporate box

- attended a heavy metal gig in a packed student bar

Most of the above I would have found excrutiatingly difficult even a few months ago. Those of you who knew me when I joined the forum in late 2004 would have known a 22 year old guy who slept all day and stayed up all night in his tiny room in his parents house, barely ever leaving the house except for a late night trip to the convenience store to replinish his coke supply.

it was only recently that I realised the strengths that I had and am starting to make the most of my situation. Im nowhere near where I would like to be but I like to thing Im slowly getting closer

The one thing that has encouraged me the most on this forum is the variety of people and the strength that so many have. We who have such difficulty being active in a social enviroment can become so much stronger for that experience. We are more likely to acheive our goals than those who have been immersed in society all their lives!!!!

Im not saying Im any less lonely than I used to be. Im insanely lonely at times. But sitting on the internet whinging about it wasnt doing me any good. Im still not in a position where I can actively change my situation but I CAN make the most of it.

it is such an empowering feeling to walk down the street knowing that it is my choice to be there... that I have the will and courage to get up and walk down a street in the Middle East instead... the knowledge that Im not trapped by society, that I dont care about what others think and that if they dont have time for me then fuck them it is their loss

so I will continue to encourage myself and others to say f**k off to society and live life the way you want to live it. dont let others dictate the way you live or the way you think. dont believe others who say you aren't good enough. your better than that, your better than them. if you find yourself sorrounded by others who drag you down then it is time to say fuck off. if your family drags you down then leave home and enjoy the rush that comes with not knowing where you will sleep/eat next. if your friends drag you down then it is time to ditch them. you do deserve better.

learn to say fuck off!

H

 

[steve1]

nice to hear your feeling strong horatio....you deserve a happy life like all of us do.
This forum has helped me 10fold knowing that im not alone with S.A.
Stay strong mate and enjoy life as you deserve.

 

[Clark_Kent]

I See your logic and it is valid but rather than say f off to society im more in favour of saying f off when those negative thoughts arrive i.e. [thought] oh no ur going to blush [counter thought] f off and leave me alone.

remember that scene with smeagle in lord of the rings where he tells his imaginationary negative alternative self! to go away and dont come back thats kinda the wave length im on. Your negative dragon pops up tell it politely where to go.

 

[**removed**]

I gave the middle finger to the losers years ago, I will always be myself and I only have time for people who are genuine. But its not a good thing to go about with a negative attitude about all people.

 

[Jack-B]

All

Anyone who says FU to others, society and the world has been majorly deceived by their own mind, in particular, the mind that makes us anxious and afraid.

Fear comes from the mind of anxiety, anxiety brings unpleasant feelings causing us to avoid/hide and say FU to the world, this leads to the mind of anger because we cannot tolerate how we feel on the inside and want to blame others.

The external world is contaminated by our own feelings of fear and we hate being in it and hate everyone in it who seems to be the cause of our pain.

Others & the world are not the real problem. As Clark_Kent identified, we should say F OFF to our negative thoughts because they damage us far more. The effect of this fear means we live within a paranoid view of the world where everyone is an enemy of our own creation, they seem to make us feel bad. In reality, only we have power to control our mind and this we must do if we wish to be happy.

Isnt it far more beneficial to be saying "hi how are you?" to the world than FU? The answer to this is obvious.

Jack

 

[Horatio]

I have to disagree

Anyone who says FU to others, society and the world has been majorly deceived by their own mind, in particular, the mind that makes us anxious and afraid.

If I'm being deceived then why in the last month have I noticed

A: A huge surge in confidence in who I am
B: Huge improvements in enviroments were previously I would've let SA get the better of me and/or wouldn'tve even have put myself in the situation
C: I am actually significantly less anxious and afraid now than when I was previously

Fear comes from the mind of anxiety, anxiety brings unpleasant feelings causing us to avoid/hide and say FU to the world

I think your misinterpreting why I'm saying FU to society (not the world btw)

Im not saying it out of fear or anxiety, I'm saying that Ive made a mistake in wanting so much to be part of society for the last 8 years or so when I am so much better off without it. Sure I might have a severe lack of social experience due to being socially isolated for so many years, that is still a problem for me. But 80% of "Social Phobia" seems to have vanished when I lost my desire to be part of society.

To me it seems that Social Anxiety is caused in part by the desire to be accepted by society. If you can say fuck off to society and really mean it then your anxiety levels can drop dramatically!

Others & the world are not the real problem. As Clark_Kent identified, we should say F OFF to our negative thoughts because they damage us far more.

Yes we should say fuck off to negative thoughts but I disagree with your statement regarding others and the world. Western society is fucked. Take a step back and look at what society is, how it operates and the damage it causes large proportions of the community (and other communities on the global scale) That makes one individuals social problems look microscopic.

For me personally I found that a large amount of my negative thoughts centered around societies expectations of me instead of my own. So I guess I have followed your advice in a way by telling society to fuck off. I still have some difficult issues to tackle and a lot of work to do but the larger proportion of my negative thoughts went out the window when I changed my mindset.

The effect of this fear means we live within a paranoid view of the world where everyone is an enemy of our own creation, they seem to make us feel bad.

Was it the effect of my fear that created the bruises all over my upper body which only dissapeared over the summer holidays? No, it was the fists of my peers which caused them. Also to blame was every individual who stood there and watched me being beaten and decided to laugh instead of raise any objection to my treatment. All because they wanted to protect their ever so precious place in society.

They (the 1500 or so students) seemed to want to make me feel bad. They seemed to so much that their words and fists came close to destroying me. That was no creation of mine nor result of my fear! If anything it was the cause of my fear for years to come.

Of the 1500 students there were only two whom ever stood up for me. One of them was a guy who stood up when I was being attacked and said that it wasn't right, he was targetted himself for taking that stance. The second was a girl who told others she was disgusted with their behaviour and after I left she went to the principals office to say how disgusted she was with the staffs inability to stop it. (I only found this out a year ago when I got an email from her)

I think that is a pretty accurate representation of what western society is made up of nowdays. 1 in 750 people are actually worth knowing, the rest can fuck off.

I now look back on my days in the schoolyard and appretiate that it happened the way that it did. It made me stronger as a person and less reliant on others whilst also giving me solitude to further develop my interests and chase my dreams.

In reality, only we have power to control our mind and this we must do if we wish to be happy.

Agreed. Since telling my mind that I didnt give a flying fuck what society thought or said about me I have been a lot happier. Don't get me wrong, Im still lonely and wish that I could have more company but I would rather have no company than company that only seeks to rip me down.

Isnt it far more beneficial to be saying "hi how are you?" to the world than FU? The answer to this is obvious.

First of all as I have established, Im not saying fuck off to the world. The world is a beautiful place, it is society that Ive rejected.

I dont stomp on any chance to meet people I just approach people with a different attitude. I'll try to explain it although Im no regular wordsmith

Before my change in attitude when I was in a social enviroment I would panic, worrying what people might think of me, worrying that my interaction with them wasnt of the right quality, or that I had done something wrong, that the two girls in the corner were laughing at me, that the guy I was talking to might make fun of me etc etc all those thoughts that flood ones mind when they get a panic attack

After my changed attitude I now approach the same situation differently. I still interact with the same akwardness as ever (hey Im still not very experienced!) but now I dont give a fuck what they think of me. I dont care if they think my interaction isnt up to scratch. If the two girls in the corner are laughing at me then why should I care? At least I brightened up their night a little bit. And if they WERE laughing at me then that says more about who they are than it does about who I am. And if that guy opens his mouth to make fun of me then it only makes fun of himself. Him and anyone who might laugh are the weak ones, pathetic sheep too scared to make a wrong step.

I dont want to be accepted by society, I would consider it an insult now if I was! I just believe that if I stay true to myself then I will meet the people I'm meant to meet. The others can fuck off, they don't deserve my company anyways

I hope that helped to explain how things have changed for me

 

[Richey]

Horatio dont you mean the general concept of conforming to societies expectation that your saying FU to....for instance that girl who stood up for you is apart of society...and the people who follow societies norms and expectations...."you must buy these clothes"..."watch this tv show".......buy "this brand of drink"...."be an alphamale macho"...."have a house and a car by this age"......"have this many friends"....so perhaps your saying FU to societies conditioning and not necessarely society itself...or maybe you are right..im confusing myself..but im glad to read that you anxiety has almost dissapeared

 

[dzerklis]

Horatio, you have done it, you have pwned SP 8O congrats :!: :!: :!:

 

[Nice2MeetU]

There is such a loser/victim mentality permeating this forum. So few people here actually do anything about their situation. It's not society's fault you won't open the Yellow Pages and find some help for yourself. Granted, there are people on this forum who are in such a horrible mess that therapy, whether spoken or administered in pill form, is not going to help them. To those people, what I'm saying obviously doesn't apply. I suppose that goes without saying, as they HAVE tried to get help, it just hasn't worked out for them. There's only so much 'venting' a person can do in a forum before it crosses the line from therapeutic to just plain bitching.

To those of you who don't plan to make a lifelong hobby out of crying over the shitty hand that fate has dealt you I would suggest finding another forum with a theme that is a little more in line with things you actually enjoy about life. Coming clean and telling somebody about your social anxiety in this forum can be beneficial, not to mention relieving. We need to tell somebody. Great. We've told somebody. Next step is to tell someone who can actually help you, because people suffering from SA and making that the defining condition of their existence as so many here do CAN NOT help you.

People tend to become more like the people they surround themselves with. I think I'm going to spend more time around people who are going in the same direction I'm going. To those of you seeking help, I wish you the best (and for those of you with especially low incomes, mention that to potential therapists. Many of them will make arrangements to accomodate you). To those of you trying to work it out on your own, I hope you succeed, but you'll get there quicker with someone who knows what they're doing working with you. To those who are pissed off at the world, get over it. Fast. And to those who refuse to seek help because it will mean you 'lost'....you already lost. You wouldn't STILL be visiting SA forums if you hadn't. Don't be a dumbass. Get help.

I totally agree with you B, and it's part of the reason I go months without visiting this forum. I've noticed too many people, including myself, going round and round in never-ending circles of talking about the same stuff and always feeling like things are never going to change. But I've decided, maybe foolishly coz it might not work out, that I will actively try to change my situation and I can't keep reading so much negativity, so I don't come on here that often anymore.

 

[Jack-B]

Horatio,

Thanks for the great reply. I think we are on the same sort of wave length, i will try to clarify by answering you replies:

Horatio:

"If I'm being deceived then why in the last month have I noticed

A: A huge surge in confidence in who I am
B: Huge improvements in enviroments were previously I would've let SA get the better of me and/or wouldn'tve even have put myself in the situation
C: I am actually significantly less anxious and afraid now than when I was previously"

Jack:

This has happened because you are letting go of the mental idea that your happiness depends on what others think about you. It has nothing to do with you saying FU to society or how the world behaves, it depends entirely upon your mental attitude, how you view the world as it appears to your mind. Everyone could love each other but you could still be dealing with anxiety, everyone could give you everything but you may be still be anxious. I believe you when you say that your are getting better but i dont believe you know why. I will explain in the next part.

Horatio:

"To me it seems that Social Anxiety is caused in part by the desire to be accepted by society"

Jack:

Jackpot! ding, ding, ding! Precisely speaking, a desire that arises within our mind that believes that 'what others think about me' will make me happy and we crave that desire we act in ways that conform with our desire, yet our happiness DOES NOT arise from what others think about us, it arises from our own mind. So this desire we hold onto is deceiving us. This is what you are letting go of. You arent really increasing your level of saying FU to society, (although you disagree with it), you are in fact lowering your level of desire - this belief that what others think will make you happy.

Horatio:

"If you can say fuck off to society and really mean it then your anxiety levels can drop dramatically!"

Jack:

The society you are talking about exists within your own mind. How you view society exists within your own mind. So, what you are saying FU to is your own view of society, not society itself. I know you know this but wanted to clarify anyway, you can embrace society, love society, society consists of people, you can love people. Yes, the world is in a degenerate state with much conflict, war, with much technological advances with less and less happiness. This means we should view our society with love, this comes from within the mind. If the society and the world is to change, the minds of the people must change. The people and the world are not the problem, its how they think that is a problem. You can love people and society and have compassion for their confusion as to creating such damage. This comes from within their minds. So we say FU to negative thoughts which run uncontrollably, this distinguishes people from their thoughts. You can still be part of society, just viewing it in a different way. No one decides to get angry because anger sucks, yet, people get angry all the time because they lack control. The minds of people in society are quite out of control to varying degrees from low level unease to out and out rage and delusion. Society is suffering because no one really knows how to be happy. I used to say FU to society in exactly the same way, which resulted to me feeling good about my self for a while, all this leads to is disillusionment and becoming haughty, still dwelling within my own unrealistic view of the world.

Horatio:

"For me personally I found that a large amount of my negative thoughts centered around societies expectations of me instead of my own."

Jack:

Society exists within our own mind, viewed by our mind, the expectations of society are in our own mind. We think " i cant do this" or " i need to behave in this way" mainly because of what others think about us, yet these thoughts generally lead us to being more negative and confused by anxiety. Of course we need to live within the general conventions of the world and behave appropriately with respect and consideration for others but 'our view' of what society expects from us is nothing more than chains holding us back, created by our own mind limiting our free expression and mental freedom because we still believe that what others think brings me happiness.

Horatio:

"That was no creation of mine nor result of my fear! If anything it was the cause of my fear for years to come"

Jack:

I am sorry to hear this Horatio. I cannot accurately give a detailed explanation to this on this site, but what i will say is this: understand actions and their effects, how things you do when you were younger have effected you now. Imagine if your mind never experienced anxiety say like 2 years ago, would you still have been the victim of such an act? Probably not. Why? Because no one likes picking on someone who is not afraid. The mind of anxiety weaves an elaborate fantasy world we live in which makes us frightened and in the future causes us much pain. Which is why identifying this mind of anxiety as it arises is so important. We cannot stop others from harming us or stop experiencing suffering but what we can control is our reaction to it. Your story proves how out of control the minds of others are, their thoughts are highly undesirable. The only realistic reaction is compassion, they too dont understand how their actions will affect thier lives or the lives of others.

Horatio:

"Since telling my mind that I didnt give a flying fuck what society thought or said about me I have been a lot happier"

Jack:

I have already explained this, i am pleased that you are happier, just try and transform your past pains and current experiences into something meaningful and your mind will be happier still.

Horatio:

After my changed attitude I now approach the same situation differently. I still interact with the same akwardness as ever (hey Im still not very experienced!) but now I dont give a fuck what they think of me. I dont care if they think my interaction isnt up to scratch. If the two girls in the corner are laughing at me then why should I care? At least I brightened up their night a little bit. And if they WERE laughing at me then that says more about who they are than it does about who I am. And if that guy opens his mouth to make fun of me then it only makes fun of himself. Him and anyone who might laugh are the weak ones, pathetic sheep too scared to make a wrong step. "

Jack:

Horario, dude, this isnt a negative observation but this paragraph would seem to indicate that you are still slightly bitter when you engage in social interaction, man, you dont need to be, at all. If you dont give a fuck, there's no need for any negative vibe or any thoughts at all about what others think. Someone who is really not bothered wouldn't have this many thoughts about the situation at all. People look at me funny all the time, laugh and get me all wrong. But there is no second thought from me, why? because i already realise that what they think will never make me happy and their minds are pretty much out of control. Thoughts of other are fleeting, just liek our thoughts, so there's nothing to be bitter about. We dont need to look down on others if they laugh at us or think bad at us, we can genuinely feel warm towards them and laugh at our self as well.

Thanks Horatio, i enjoyed that, i am glad you are looking at your mind.

Jack

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Jack B: I think that you have just become my personal hero!!
I love what you wrote and honestly wish I could think more like you.

Horatio: I agree overall with Jack, yet, I also appreciate that you perhaps are simply going about getting over your anxiety in a different way. That you are giving yourself a break from the 'need-to-please disease' and showing yourself that you don't need the approval of others. And, by the way, you sound as though you are a rather talented person. ...do you know that it is believed that many great thinkers and creative types had/have some great emotional obstacle to deal with? And also, what you said about people like us being likely to achieve more eventually, often is true; that we deal with all this difficulty first while others deal with it later. Also, if you look at bullies and their behaviour, you can see the evidence that what you are going through is not so bizarre or foreign to other's experience. The catch-22 is that people can be so prejudiced and harsh because the difference between winning and losing, good and bad, strong and weak, etc, is actually much smaller on a true emotional level. The more cruel someone is to you, the more they are frieghtened themselves by how small the difference is. Ironic really.

 

[Horatio]

thanks for your post Muffet

All I know is that this seems to be working, in fact it seems to be working really well. In the last 5 weeks or so things have improved dramatically, I still have a lot of work to do but the issues I am facing are becoming less and less to do with social anxiety and more just trying to understand things that I dont have much experience with.

After my last post I walked down to the local supermarket which was packed full of people, I bought my groceries, making small talk with the girls on checkout etc. That night I went to a party and had conversations with about ten different people that I had only met that night. Five weeks ago that would have been impossible.

Tomorrow I have two business meetings to attend, a lunch date and two intivations to drinks in the evening at bars in town. All things I wouldve found excrutiatingly difficult two months ago yet now I have no fear at all.

Im not saying my way is the only way, but its the only way out that has worked for me and Ive been desperately trying to find a solution since my mid to late teens. Sure my solution may not be conventional but hey it seems to be working very effectively.

Prove to yourself that you dont need to belong to society then actively reject society and the social anxiety dissapears!

I now believe that Im fortunate to have had social anxiety and spent so many years alone because without it maybe i wouldve followed the rest of the crowd and become a nobody baaing away with the rest of the sheep in society instead of forging my own path, unafraid of accomplishing my goals

learn to accept social phobia as exactly that, a blessing. It is shaping you to become stronger, not weaker

 

[Shonen_Yo]

Thanks, Horatio, you deserve to wear that hat.

 

[pjam76]

nice post

There are some things I like about what you said and other things that just seemed like the mouth of a bitter angry person.... Either way , good for you..

But the biggest concern about your FU to society is the fact it seems you hate Western Society more than anything else... Your fascination with the middle east is great.................But realize this, the middle east might be far less understanding than what the western culture comes to accept.

I was a young rebel saying FU to society awhile ago... Plenty of young people did this over and over and over again probably since humans were around.

People always think the grass is greener on the other side.....

What happens if you move to the middle east and suddenly realize, it's not any better, maybe even worse, than where you are at now?

Will your angry grow even more?

Cause at the end of the day, anger is nice, but if that's all you have, you'll just become a bitter old and lonely man.