SAD is an irrational fear

[Dj SL]

Thought: If I go shopping, someone can watch me.

What Then?

Thought: If a person is watching me, I will be thinking he/she is criticizing me.

What then?

Thought: He/she can be thinking that I'm shy, inept, ugly or stupid.

What then?

Thought: He/she can laugh at me.

What then?

Thought: Uhmmm......... Nothing

* So, the last thought is nothing* Because the first thought doesn't make sense.


This is an exercise, you guys can do it. First thought of a social situation then ask yourself; what then? until you get to the last thought. "Nothing".

 

[*Amy*]

Yeah, but that's the bad thing about SAD: I know it is completely irrational, but I still have it::

 

[*Amy*]

Thought: He/she can laugh at me.

What then?

Thought: Uhmmm......... Nothing

That affects my self-esteem::

 

[Falkor]

Very good topic, but it's still hard to not care about the people when we go shopping for example. But the last thought makes sense, because the reason why it does make sense is that it doesn't change a thing, that person will walk away and you are still in the store doing your thing. you won't die because he is critizing you, and i think the thing we miss.. is.. the feeling of not caring about him critizing you, we should think like, I dont give a damn about what you think! Just think whatever I want, I'm good, the way I am! and that's the whole deal.. We are not happy with ourselfes, we don't find acceptance, that's the key, you see? , and getting to know it's all irrational. but the whole deal is loving yourself, and know your worth it, so when people think you are stupid or ugly, you dont even care, because you know better.

 

[DespairSoul]

Very good topic, but it's still hard to not care about the people when we go shopping for example. But the last thought makes sense, because the reason why it does make sense is that it doesn't change a thing, that person will walk away and you are still in the store doing your thing. you won't die because he is critizing you, and i think the thing we miss.. is.. the feeling of not caring about him critizing you, we should think like, I dont give a damn about what you think! Just think whatever I want, I'm good, the way I am! and that's the whole deal.. We are not happy with ourselfes, we don't find acceptance, that's the key, you see? , and getting to know it's all irrational. but the whole deal is loving yourself, and know your worth it, so when people think you are stupid or ugly, you dont even care, because you know better.

I just love it your quote, just like u say. We know better but we feel like we wont die because people critize us. Problem is that some really do it. We must be strong for those case enough to go over it. We have normaly weak character if we will be ignorance like a horde of people is we will too dont give a F*** about it. Key is loving your self i know u know it but we dont do it:// Why?

 

[DespairSoul]

Thought: If I go shopping, someone can watch me.

What Then?

Thought: If a person is watching me, I will be thinking he/she is criticizing me.

What then?

Thought: He/she can be thinking that I'm shy, inept, ugly or stupid.

What then?

Thought: He/she can laugh at me.

What then?

Thought: Uhmmm......... Nothing

* So, the last thought is nothing* Because the first thought doesn't make sense.


This is an exercise, you guys can do it. First thought of a social situation then ask yourself; what then? until you get to the last thought. "Nothing".

Hello,

Do you alone practice that succeful with out feedbacks to SA? Just im only curious if u alone go over it and dont have anymore those feelings? Just u give a advice to us because u want feel us better?I appreaciate this and isnt true what u say at all. Isnt mean they think ummm nothing. Ofcourse they think something. Question what is it this we can only speculate because we are not mind readers.

 

[Ignace]

You're right, but we all know it's irrational. We can't just switch if off in our brains.

 

[Dj SL]

@ *amy* It doesn't have to affect you because they are not laughing at you. remember it's irrational.

 

[Dj SL]

@flowergirlie,

the key is change those irrational thoughts we have to rational thoughts.

We don't do it because our codes in our minds are automatically irrational.

Then our feelings are automatic to feel anxiety and our behaviors: avoid the situation to get rid of the anxiety finding a safe place to hide and feel better.

We have to stop doing that...

 

[6string]

I've actually posted two similar threads at some point on this idea. Irrational fears are the source of all of my anxiety related issues. I guess it makes sense cuz without an irrational fear(s) the only thing you would fear would be that which makes people without any abnormal anxiety fear. Basically what I mean is the word irrational really is the sole basis of anxiety. The issue is logic vs feelings. Maybe a bad example but I dunno if I told you that smoking cigarettes was enjoyable to me it wouldn't make any difference that logically I knew how bad they were for me because my feelings aren't in alignment with that. It's a very interesting point and something I work on, but sometimes I feel the more I try to use logic to talk myself down, the more I am anxious. Furthermore I feel nuts cuz the more stressful of a sitiuation I am in the less anxiety I have..I guess because my mind is occupied on something other than spinning in horrid circles

 

[Dj SL]

@Despairsoul,

I got feedbacks since I was 18 by my own reading books cuz my parents never help me; I've been seeing a psychiatrist and I get feedbacks... Medication is requiere for SAD, to reduce our symptoms the extreme anxiety we feel.

I say the truth, I don't lie... We are living out of reallity in another world; does that make sense to you? Do you even know who you are? maybe not.

We have to find ourselves to live in reallity.

 

[6string]

Dude, you might not find anything useful out of it but I posted a short (like 3 paragraph 5 mins) article in a thread the other day. Got some mixed reviews but I just put it up here when I was feeling like exactly what you said in your last post. I think its called the secret of letting go that was the title of the original article

 

[Dj SL]

@6string,

I understand your point... Some social phobics feel more anxious when they are alone because they are thinking a lot of what is coming next. and In a stressful situation maybe you feel less anxious because once we are in a stressful situation our minds turns blank.

 

[6string]

Most definately. I have a job where I have to see people and I don't like it at all at times, like it's super bad, but some 'have to' sinks in that I can't explain that carries me through. Same as when I'm doing something so basic as standing in line at a gas station, sitting at a red light, going to the bank etc..the opposite ie 'have to freakout' sinks in. This is why I like this forum because by responding I just now realized that if we could explain why it was the way it was it probably wouldn't exist. If we could control it then it wouldn't be a problem. I think for me I was conditioned at such a young age to bad things happening that I can't deal with things when they aren't bad. Like impending doom on the horizon is terrible. When the doom is directly above me it isn't so bad. If I imagine shattering my leg I seems so awful I almost feel sick..if it actually happened, yeah it would hurt like crazy, but I'd be alright. Thus the word anxiety. Sorry, now I'm just ranting like my comp is my therapist

 

[ajajajak]

For most people this seems like a complete irrational fear because it bears no consequences. By nature they are less sensitive and therefor less impacted by situations like that - that is if they even notice them to begin with.
There is a reason for our fear. It's not the situation happening, followed by the fear. It is fear in anticipation of something lacking inside of ourselves. No fear is irrational...Fear is a defense mechanism.

following the logic of non-sa people it will seem irrational, but if you start from our inherent qualities which we don't know how to change this seems completely logical?

It's like saying someone with armour shouldn't fear lets say wooden swords, but tell that to someone who isn't wearing armour...We are oversensitive to rejection and thats why we fear...