relationships suck

"others" not "other".

Are you saying that no one agrees with lifesnotfair? I can't believe that. Isn't that being too one sided? Anyway I'm out..bah broke my rule 😀

Masterpiece2 said:

Disagree.
Even if you are hot or good looking, but you are bitter girl wont dig you. if you are hot and extremely shy, girl wont dig you. if you are good looking ( or people tell you so ) but you are avoidant, or a loner, girls would preffer a more extrovert character. at least thats my impression. it doesnt matter if you are good looking, if you are too shy and barely have fun girls will notice this and wont date you. so i suggest being happy to all of us. good-looking plus low self asteem = non good looking for girls at all.

in my experience noone admits it but looks make a HELL of a difference. Ive seen shy guys who are hot and get girls, Ive seen girl-beating assholes get girls because they are hot. A lot of girls are willing to forgive a guys shortcomings (eg: being shy, bitter or an abusive prick) if they are physically attractive

looks SHOULDNT make a difference and in a perfect world they wouldnt, but anyone who says that looks dont make a difference and it doesnt matter if your hot or not is a fool

MadCat said:

Hey Annie,
When you say it is not in your nature to be brutal, do you mean to a certain kind of people?

No MadCat, I try and be nice to everybody, unless people are nasty to me then I can be a real bitch, but that is only because I was hurt really bad years ago and had to toughen up to look after myself. I too built this big brick wall around me so noone would hurt me again, but I have chipped away at it over the years....I am really a pussy cat.

From your posts I can tell you have bigger issues. I hope you can work through them.

As for cellular phone, well that is my attitude if I was sitting on public transport and the person next to me was being loud, I would just tell them to tone it down, that is the person that I am.

You say there is a reason why you haven't been outside in four years. Well I hope whatever the reason is that you work on it get to go out more.

Okay as for advice it results in greater disability and pain for you. I am just putting my 2 cents worth, not really advice, just suggestions, take them or leave them. I am not going to tell you what to do, its up to you to help yourself, but you need to remember that people do care 🙂

As for not wanting to tear down that wall, that is fine, as I am concerned that you said that if you had done it you would have killed yourself years ago. Obviously there is much more to your story and obviously you wish not to discuss it, which is fine. Just remember there are kind people out there who are willing to listen to you.

I hope you don't wait 30 years to break down the wall, it would be so such a waste of life, you are young.

Okay make up time. Yes people do that to feel better, people do it to make themselves look and feel good, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Obviously you have your own opinion about that, which is okay, because we all allowed to have our own opinions.

Yes MadCat I am most of the time a confident person, but sometimes I lose my way too...I am only human. I don't think that by me being confident is hurting anyone, is it?

Well if this thread is making you more depressed don't read it.

Chill out and take care of yourself.

I am only trying to help, even though I obviously seemed to be 'brutal' in your eyes, and perhaps I was initially, but then again I didn't know how much you were hurting and you have other problems as well.

One question though if I may ask? Is that you in the pic? Nice one 🙂

lawyerguy said:

I must admit that when I see couples on the street holding hands and kissing and being loving I get sad and jealous because I wish I were in their situation. But I don't get angry. Because I know that if I were in their situation I would probably want to do the same thing. I think everyone just needs to have a little empathy. For the perpetually single people (like me) who see couples being happy...we need to realize that if we had someone we would probably be doing the same thing with our significant others. And for you couples out there..you need to realize that not everyone is as happy and fortunate as you..and your PDA makes other people sad that they don't have somoene. I'm not saying don't hug or kiss in public..but just keep us lonely single people in mind. its all about empathy folks! Everyone should step back and put themselves in the shoes of the other person...then we can all get along better..

Well said lawyerguy! 🙂
Are you really a lawyer?
I worked for lawyers for many years...never again :wink:

annie 🙂

lifesnotfair said:

Horatio I don't think its too late for you, but for a few others perhaps on this thread....one guess on who I am talking about

annie

what is this suppose to mean???

if you are referring to me, do not get me started.....

I wont't 8O

annie :wink:

Horatio said:

Masterpiece2 said:

Disagree.
Even if you are hot or good looking, but you are bitter girl wont dig you. if you are hot and extremely shy, girl wont dig you. if you are good looking ( or people tell you so ) but you are avoidant, or a loner, girls would preffer a more extrovert character. at least thats my impression. it doesnt matter if you are good looking, if you are too shy and barely have fun girls will notice this and wont date you. so i suggest being happy to all of us. good-looking plus low self asteem = non good looking for girls at all.

in my experience noone admits it but looks make a HELL of a difference. Ive seen shy guys who are hot and get girls, Ive seen girl-beating assholes get girls because they are hot. A lot of girls are willing to forgive a guys shortcomings (eg: being shy, bitter or an abusive prick) if they are physically attractive

looks SHOULDNT make a difference and in a perfect world they wouldnt, but anyone who says that looks dont make a difference and it doesnt matter if your hot or not is a fool

Horatio,

Well I am not one of those girls or women that are willing to forgive guys so easily especially if they are pricks and lay a hand on me i.e. physically hurt me. Been there done that and the prick got served divorce papers.

As for physical appearance, I don't really care what a guy looks like, well as long as he doesn't look anything like wacko jacko (now there is a disturbed guy). I have dated not so good looking guys, but they had great personalities or had a great sense of humour or were just plain kind, compassionate, caring, supportive and the list goes on.
I have dated shy guys as well and I think they are the best :wink:

annie

annie said:

Horatio said:

Masterpiece2 said:

Disagree.
Even if you are hot or good looking, but you are bitter girl wont dig you. if you are hot and extremely shy, girl wont dig you. if you are good looking ( or people tell you so ) but you are avoidant, or a loner, girls would preffer a more extrovert character. at least thats my impression. it doesnt matter if you are good looking, if you are too shy and barely have fun girls will notice this and wont date you. so i suggest being happy to all of us. good-looking plus low self asteem = non good looking for girls at all.

in my experience noone admits it but looks make a HELL of a difference. Ive seen shy guys who are hot and get girls, Ive seen girl-beating assholes get girls because they are hot. A lot of girls are willing to forgive a guys shortcomings (eg: being shy, bitter or an abusive prick) if they are physically attractive

looks SHOULDNT make a difference and in a perfect world they wouldnt, but anyone who says that looks dont make a difference and it doesnt matter if your hot or not is a fool

Horatio,

Well I am not one of those girls or women that are willing to forgive guys so easily especially if they are pricks and lay a hand on me i.e. physically hurt me. Been there done that and the prick got served divorce papers.

As for physical appearance, I don't really care what a guy looks like, well as long as he doesn't look anything like wacko jacko (now there is a disturbed guy). I have dated not so good looking guys, but they had great personalities or had a great sense of humour or were just plain kind, compassionate, caring, supportive and the list goes on.
I have dated shy guys as well and I think they are the best :wink:

annie

well all I know is that girls laugh or swear at me if I ask them out

they all say the same thing, that Im too ugly or a loser

then I watch them go for a good looking jerk instead who treats them like crap

the nicest girls are the ones that make up an excuse as to why they cant date me instead of telling me the truth - that hot is better

Horatio said:

annie said:

Horatio said:

Masterpiece2 said:

Disagree.
Even if you are hot or good looking, but you are bitter girl wont dig you. if you are hot and extremely shy, girl wont dig you. if you are good looking ( or people tell you so ) but you are avoidant, or a loner, girls would preffer a more extrovert character. at least thats my impression. it doesnt matter if you are good looking, if you are too shy and barely have fun girls will notice this and wont date you. so i suggest being happy to all of us. good-looking plus low self asteem = non good looking for girls at all.

in my experience noone admits it but looks make a HELL of a difference. Ive seen shy guys who are hot and get girls, Ive seen girl-beating assholes get girls because they are hot. A lot of girls are willing to forgive a guys shortcomings (eg: being shy, bitter or an abusive prick) if they are physically attractive

looks SHOULDNT make a difference and in a perfect world they wouldnt, but anyone who says that looks dont make a difference and it doesnt matter if your hot or not is a fool

Horatio,

Well I am not one of those girls or women that are willing to forgive guys so easily especially if they are pricks and lay a hand on me i.e. physically hurt me. Been there done that and the prick got served divorce papers.

As for physical appearance, I don't really care what a guy looks like, well as long as he doesn't look anything like wacko jacko (now there is a disturbed guy). I have dated not so good looking guys, but they had great personalities or had a great sense of humour or were just plain kind, compassionate, caring, supportive and the list goes on.
I have dated shy guys as well and I think they are the best :wink:

annie

well all I know is that girls laugh or swear at me if I ask them out

they all say the same thing, that Im too ugly or a loser

then I watch them go for a good looking jerk instead who treats them like crap

the nicest girls are the ones that make up an excuse as to why they cant date me instead of telling me the truth - that hot is better

Horatio,

If they choose to go off with a good looking jerk, then they are the big losers in the end, but those good looking jerks are probably just using them anyway, well not all the time some guys are nice.
Don't give up hope, things will turn around, they always do.

annie :wink: always the optimist

i used to be an optimist believe it or not, and thanks to the total amount of rejection by females, i am a total loser, i have no confidence, and a good part of the reason why i feel like this is because of women

I am sorry that this offends some of the opposite sex, but after asking about 16 women to go out, rejection is the only thing i can think off... nor am i willing to go through all these hoops to get a girl to like me and it turns out that she is using me, or rejects me more..

being only 15 i can only tell you what ive experienced over the past few years - nothing compared to you older people...but as 15, ive had the whole teenage thing of people making it feel that you have to be in a relatonship, have to be having sex or whatever..but nobody tells you about the bad stuff..
for those who hate seeing couples out or whatever, who have never had a girl friend or a guy friend..just think of the shit that they have to go through..they go through fights which can be absolutely horrific, youll get abuse, be it mental or physical..you have to remember these are people who know you better than anyone else and so can hurt you the most..you get the ignoring, the insults, whatever. Theyre not always fun. I might have only had a 10month relationship (which is *not long* but for a 15yr old, it bloody is) but ive had enough fights, slaps, nights crying, screaming and whatever to last me a lifetime, but i know im going to have way more.
Just remember those kids out in the streets holding hands, i bet you, theyve fucking worked for what they have.

lifesnotfair I know where you're coming from. I haven't been rejected in person but online I have been rejected by all.

I am too much ofa loser for them.

anyone who says looks don't matter is living in an absolute fantasy world

well i guess i am screwed, because my head is all messed up

I think that PDA are very healthy. It is good that some people have it good and they have reason to celebrate. I would engage in plenty of PDA if I were in a relationship.

When I see PDAs, they make me feel sad, bitter and angry. I have no good grounds to be angry - these people aren't doing me any wrong. But I do. I'm a 35 year old male and I have never been loved. On the reasonable assumption that the future will be like the past, I will spend my entire life alone. That knowledge hurts.

On Valentine's day, instead of giving chocolate to each other, lovers should seek out some loser like me and give them chocolate. Then, as they enjoy their PDA, I could eat chocolate.

Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they are happy. I've been with my bf for 8 years and I am happy with our relatioship but I wouldn't consider myself a happy person.

SomeGuy said:

When I see PDAs, they make me feel sad, bitter and angry. I have no good grounds to be angry - these people aren't doing me any wrong.

Well, that's basically how it is with me too, and I REALLY REALLY hate myself for it. It sucks, the fact that I feel so deeply jealous of what they have. I hate the stupid thoughts I get over and over again everytime I see a happy couple; things such as: "Great, fantastic... another f*ckin' couple!", "Go ahead! Make me feel like shit!", "why not me? why can't I be the one giving and getting affection?". Then all the scenes from the memories of me getting rejected over and over and over again start to play in my head. I know that it is absolutely unhealthy to feel this way, but I just can't help it.

sure those people piss me off, the people who go around gloating that they are in love and i am not, it makes me so angry that i want to go on a rampage

And pretty much too much PDA is a sign of an unhealthy relationship too. They are often not secure in their own private intimate moments so they have to show it off in public. I'm in love with my cat, but why the hell would I need to show other people how much I love her?

Same goes for humans.

worrydoll said:

i dont think about what others might think when i dispaly affection in public. i dont like to see people do a fake airkissing thing but...showing affection in public cant be a bad thing man..theres too much negativity in the world....if you look at everything so negatively you can only attract more negativity to yourself..i think that if someone was watching you..watching a couple hugging ..or a mother and son hugging..and you scowled at them ..then what kind of vibration are you giving out man?

I agree with you worrydoll 🙂

worrydoll said:

i dont think about what others might think when i dispaly affection in public. i dont like to see people do a fake airkissing thing but...showing affection in public cant be a bad thing man..theres too much negativity in the world....if you look at everything so negatively you can only attract more negativity to yourself..i think that if someone was watching you..watching a couple hugging ..or a mother and son hugging..and you scowled at them ..then what kind of vibration are you giving out man? madcat when was the last time you saw someone doing the whole pda thing??

Yesterday outside my living area. My problem is with two adults! A child is more innocent and still learning to understand what love is. They need reinforcement and a good example of how to express emotions and other stuff.

Two adults on the other hand...hmmmm

I grew up in a world where adults are horrible, selfish, uncaring, rejecting and cruel. I applied that to everyone and that is my beliefs.

When I see PDA in adults I make myself feel better by telling myself that they probably have no idea what love is.

If I was able to get that far in a relationship I wouldn't even need PDA. PDA is a way to get noticed. My views are not completely negative by the way because most of the people I see giving out PDA are not in the same relationship today.

Also growing up I learnt that drawing attention to myself results in emotional pain. If there's one thing I dislike the most, it has to be extroverted emotions in public.

Sometimes I think these people with PDAs are histrionic. That's my take on the situation and no, it's not negative to me.