Recommendations for 14yo daughter

ConcernedMum

New member
Hi everyone, my 14 year old daughter has social anxiety / phobia I am desperate to get her help as she is getting more and more depressed as she is moving into her teenage years and thinks there is something wrong with her, she also revealed to me the other day that people talk to her like she has a disability because she is so quiet... I have heard about CBT as a good therapy for social anxiety / phobia - I am in western Australia, does anyone have any recommendations of where I can go to or who my daughter can go to. There are so many psychologists and clinical psychologists I don't want to waste time with someone that has no real expertise in this area. I would appreciate any advice. I would love to hear from parent of other teenage children with the same and what you did to help them. I am really starting to get concerned for her.
 

ScaredToBreathe

Well-known member
first of all, thanks for being such an understanding mum. So many parents have trouble understanding what their child is going through when they develop a disorder like this and often dismiss it for shyness or a phase. But if it is SA, it usually doesn't get better without professional help (and lots of support). I am glad that you are concerned for your daughter, that's the first step to helping her with her problems.

When I first realized I had social anxiety and wanted to seek help I also confided in my mom. She brought me to our family doctor and he gave us a referral to a psychiatrist who I am still seeing. I recommend you to do this, as your family doctor will likely be able to refer you to a good psych in your area, and in the meantime he/she might even be able to start her on a treatment.

CBT is recommended for anxiety, but therapy alone is not good enough. Usually, the best treatment for people with anxiety disorders is anti-anxiety medication. There are several different types of meds available and they are generally very safe and effective, it's just a matter of finding the right one she needs, as some meds work for some people but not for others so she will likely be put on different types until she's on one that significantly improves her symptoms.

I think it would also be a good idea to have her make an account on this site or even just browse the forums here, as it can help a lot to see that she's not alone and there are many other people with similar troubles. It can also help for her to write about her problems and let out her frustrations while getting feedback and advice from people who are going through the same things and can empathize. SPW is a very accepting, supportive community and it can really help to have some extra support when you feel like there's no one else out there.
 
I'm going to disagree here; because of some trouble that has occurred here in the past with obnoxious members, plus the chance of coming across bad advice, I don't think this or other forums are a place for younger people to be.
^ I agree with kihira on this. When you are young you don't quite have the skills yet to filter out things you have a feeling are not in your best interests. Your young mind is just absorbing everything it comes across and is sometimes not as discerning as it needs to be.
I think a 14 year old may not be experienced enough to be able to just put misleading or bad advice posts in their minds "rubbish bin" so to speak, which could end up doing more harm than good.
Could you buy her a book about Social Anxiety? The first one I was given helped me in conjunction with the psychologist.

As others have said, she is extremely lucky to have such an attentive and helpful mother as you. As kihira mentioned, ask your GP for a "mental health plan". I am on one of them at the moment. :thumbup:
 

ConcernedMum

New member
Thank you all so much for your kind comments. I am happy to report that I think I have found someone for my daughter, a clinical psychologist, who (I have been told) has experience working with teenagers and social anxiety. Her first appointment is on the 6th August. I will also be getting a health plan (thanks for the advice). I have explained this all to my daughter, so I am lucky that she is doing this because she wants to and knows that she needs to, not because I told her to, because that just wouldn't work.

Thanks for the suggestion about having her come onto this forum, but I don't feel she is quite ready or has the skills to handle this at this stage.

If I am allowed to ask? Can I get a gauge on how old some people were when they first sought professional help? What were the biggest changes that you noticed? How long did it take?

I understand that medication is an option, has anyone achieved success with professional help without the use of medication? How long do they normally have to take medication for?

I am sorry if I am asking too many questions or the wrong questions - but I think it is best that I hear from people who are actually going through the same or have experienced the same as my daughter.

Thank you once again everyone, for taking the time to respond to my questions.
 

ConcernedMum

New member
BlueDays - Thank you, the book suggestion is great, do you have any recommendations for books that would be suitable for my daughter?
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
Hi everyone, my 14 year old daughter has social anxiety / phobia I am desperate to get her help as she is getting more and more depressed as she is moving into her teenage years and thinks there is something wrong with her, she also revealed to me the other day that people talk to her like she has a disability because she is so quiet... I have heard about CBT as a good therapy for social anxiety / phobia - I am in western Australia, does anyone have any recommendations of where I can go to or who my daughter can go to. There are so many psychologists and clinical psychologists I don't want to waste time with someone that has no real expertise in this area. I would appreciate any advice. I would love to hear from parent of other teenage children with the same and what you did to help them. I am really starting to get concerned for her.

I went for something between like a pychologist between 7 8 and 9 but then it stopped suddenly, maybe a child pyschologist cause of this Social phobia/ learning problem perhaps and they speak to you. I stopped going suddenly and I dont know why
As time went on it got worse and other little issues too with sibling or in the house and God knows what else. I didnt have solid friends really and spent alot of time watching Tv and going to Grandmas house , I did find a friend about 14 but that was later too

At least your searching for her, because when i was of those ages noone did anything and by 17 and 18 I became more and more depressed, I was working in Mc Donalds on the weekend, Stress levels began to climb and i even had panics attacks 18 was bad, including heart palpitations and I thought it would just go away. they watched it like a f***ing Tv show all the way till I was 19 and after high school , and they always thought they were doing the right thing, and now Im looking back all those years ago they werent. If parents werent helping someone else shouldve maybe.
Believe me , dont wait till she s 18 and 19, the time is now.
 
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