really confused in this relationship

[LazyHermitCrab]

So i've been dating this guy for about a year. We were talking and he mentioned about getting promise rings. I said that would be cool and then he handed me a ring casually. I'm thinking "what is this" so I assume a promise ring. He said it was a half engagement/promise ring >.> He said he got it because he saw a ring in my car that was for him for Valentines day. I gave him the ring in my car and he looks disappointed and later says it didn't look very wedding like. I say okay we should get another one when it's actually been a year. He loses this ring I gave him and i'm kind of....very annoyed with this. I had the ring he gave me, but then I left it at his house. He says he will give it back to me and then says "oh we need to resize it" and ends up never giving it back so far. What does this mean?

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

It's hard to say. Maybe he wanted something more towards the engagement side of things than the promise ring, and got the impression that you don't, so he's backing off a little? Losing the ring you gave him was very inconsiderate though.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I'm confused as well. Did he only get you a ring because he saw that you got him a ring? What does half promise/half engagement ring mean? I've had a promise ring, and two engagement rings (one of which doubled as a wedding ring).
I don't get why he won't give your ring back...unless he's going to get you and actual engagement ring to replace it (I tend to fantasize about sweet romantic gestures like that).

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

It's hard to say. Maybe he wanted something more towards the engagement side of things than the promise ring, and got the impression that you don't, so he's backing off a little? Losing the ring you gave him was very inconsiderate though.

I said I was happy with an engagement ring.... it would just be a long engagement because I have to finish college first and told him that. I even said we should go sizing sometime but was hoping he would take the lead. Yeah i don't know why he lost the ring and barely said sorry either. He only had it for a few days too.... i wish i never bought it

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I'm confused as well. Did he only get you a ring because he saw that you got him a ring? What does half promise/half engagement ring mean? I've had a promise ring, and two engagement rings (one of which doubled as a wedding ring).
I don't get why he won't give your ring back...unless he's going to get you and actual engagement ring to replace it (I tend to fantasize about sweet romantic gestures like that).

Yeah I have no idea, so it's why I posted I wish i never got him a ring to begin with so I knew. It was a casual looking ring that was $40 and he gave me one (well doesn't feel like it anymore) for around $150. I don't think he would just replace that ring? / I see so it wasn't a promise, an engagement, and then the wedding band? Thats cool

 

[Silatuyok]

This is where those archaic social traditions come in handy. Guy and girl date, guy gives girl engagement ring (surprise!), guy and girl set a date, exchange actual wedding rings at ceremony. It's so simple. (not really.)

It's sounds like you two should probably just actually sit down and talk about what is going on. Are you buying each other promise rings, with the intent of eventually getting married? Why bother with promise rings if you are basically engaged anyway? Typically, a guy doesn't take away a promise ring in order to upgrade to an engagement ring. You can't really assume that a ring he has given you is a promise ring.

 

[coyote]

has he actually said the words, "will you marry me?"

if not, then what are we talking about here

a ring that indicates that he promises that he might ask you someday?

i'm confused, too

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

This is where those archaic social traditions come in handy. Guy and girl date, guy gives girl engagement ring (surprise!), guy and girl set a date, exchange actual wedding rings at ceremony. It's so simple. (not really.)

It's sounds like you two should probably just actually sit down and talk about what is going on. Are you buying each other promise rings, with the intent of eventually getting married? Why bother with promise rings if you are basically engaged anyway? Typically, a guy doesn't take away a promise ring in order to upgrade to an engagement ring. You can't really assume that a ring he has given you is a promise ring.

True... I just think he's scared of the word "engagement" even though he talks about living together married a lot. It's just that i'm gonna take about 3 more years to graduate and it's seems like a long time to be engaged. Just gonna sit down later in the years. I still think it would be nice to have a ring still. I also feel like he's rushing because his friends are getting married. I think it would be cool being married but i'm okay living with my parents so i can get a better job later. We both work at grocery stores and want kids someday so yeah :s Not saying you can't be married an achieve what you want but not in the mood to pay rent during college because it just takes longer lol..

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

has he actually said the words, "will you marry me?"

if not, then what are we talking about here

a ring that indicates that he promises that he might ask you someday?

i'm confused, too

Yeah he planned things to do when were in our 80s so assuming yes lol.... just not bowing down on one knee kind of thing. Well he almost did "as practice?"

 

[Silatuyok]

Well, it sounds like you two, as a couple, are not necessarily ready to be engaged at this point. So perhaps the best thing would be to live ring-free and not make that jump into any kind of marital commitment just yet.