Rant.

[whatkatiedid]

---deleted

 

[Frazy91]

Same here. Definitely with you on the people thing. People have messed the world up, and they just get worse and worse.

 

[Liam17]

I'm so tired of being like this. I don't even recognise myself. I used to be so caring. I'm so tired, I just want to be alive. Really alive. I want to be awake. I'm so tired of feeling dead, like there's something missing that's making it impossible for me to feel. I need to be charged. I need to attach a wire to my spine, I need someone to turn the voltage up really high so that I can wake up.
Nobody understands me. I don't understand myself, how could anyone else possibly understand what's going on in my mind?
I don't like people. I don't trust anyone. We're all lying, manipulating, cheating, selfish, scum of the earth. Everything we do is to benefit ourselves.

I know I'll regret writing this. I don't even have anything to complain about. Today was okay. I laughed plenty, I went to college and did some work for once, I had a good talk with my Mother, but yet I still bitch on...

What's wrong with me?

Well wouldn't quote everyone as lying manipulating etc.
Although sadly, i know a lot of people that are, thats the world today tho :/

Tired all the time, that could be due to many things. Your diet? Eg. Not enough fruit, veg, fat etc. Or a sleeping problem, go to a doctor maybe?

Hmmm, well this may sound really stupid by me, but if you don't understand, and no one else could. Maybe there is nothing to understand? Maybe all you need is someone to trust, and talk to.

 

[WriterChick3]

You'll find someone who won't be scum or the other things you said; Yes, people suck. But if there's one good person there has to be more. They may just be really hard to find.
... And this is probably dorky to mention, but atleast you can let out your feelings here.

 

[Liam17]

I've been seeing a Doctor. He's doing **** all to help with my sleeping problems, he's just going to up the dosage on my meds...

I'm no doctor, but won't that make you feel more tired :S.

 

[Liam17]

I really doubt that I will. Everyone leaves in the end anyway.

As in die?

 

[Liam17]

He says it's not the meds that are making me tired. I feel like a ****ing rat being tested on.

Did you feel this tired, before the meds?

Tell him that you feel like that?

 

[Liam17]

Already have

:/ well doctor wise, i dunno what else to suggest unless ask for new one :L.

You feeling better about yourself wise, you said you've changed? well change to the person you want to be, and you say you can't understand your mind. Well not many can understand anyones, just to keep doing the right things and everything will be alreeet.

Like i write a song people ask where did it come from, dunno i just wrote it. The mind is confusing.

 

[Feathers]

Hey Katie.. sorry to hear about it.. seems like you've been going through some rough times... and you do seem like a cool girl..
this will maybe sound funny: not sure if you ever allowed yourself to take a break and experience grief after that trouble you've been through with the bf etc. maybe it just caught up with you? maybe you like suppressed those feelings and they kinda got out a little? and maybe you supressed the good feelings alongside them too? this is just theory tho, maybe it doesn't apply here at all.. and it's just a matter of 'dosing' things, it's not 'let it all out' or 'nothing'.. maybe singing or writing some angry rock/power pop songs could help? Do you know Bitch by Meredith Brooks.. I really like to sing it sometimes ha ha..
sometimes when I was really hurt, I went into 'bitch mode' and then didn't like myself or what I did so much either.. it's probably just part of the learning process..
I know I sometimes suppressed feelings and then felt kinda 'numb' or 'detached' too... and didn't know what it was about.. maybe you need to see things from another point of view.. or go to a nice really good party or poetry reading?
or make a sandwich?

Are you eating? (I ask cause a friend would not eat anything for 2 days, or way too little, and then worry why she was so worried and nervous and tense..)

some people really do bad things to the earth and other people, some others are pretty okay tho.. did you see PanicSurvivor's thread? you can be one of the okay people too, if you want to.. even if you don't feel like that right now.. you still have time to learn how..

college, laughter and talking sounds good.. don't expect too much from yourself too quickly, give it time..

you are still young and are learning, growing up, discovering things.. give yourself credit for where it's due..

 

[scoobycrawler]

you should check out my life sucks rant under depression menu i feel alot of terrible things, and i can't help it