Profound Realizations!

[niceguyJosh]

If I could preach one message till thenend of my existance it would be this: keep your power. Because you are the creator of your life.

I just had a long and deep talk with my roomate. He believes that god wants bad things for him, that some force outsite of his controll will always make it so his life sucks, and that his life is just doomed to failure and that's that. That's the cards he was dealt. The thing is, I think he really does actually believe these things and has for a long time. He's not just being molodramatic right now. The common thread I notice from all he was saying to me is this: that a force outside of his control is shaping his life situation. Not him. That he is the one not in control here. That god or people or life or fate has it so he will always suffer bad situations and poor success.

And I'm like "ok, so what has happened that has been so bad?"
And he's like oh my dad died when I was a kid, I got sick when I was a kid for nine months, I got into this motorcycle accident blah blah blah. And sure, these are traumatic things, but to really assign such meaning to them that this is what god wants and that you have no control? I just don't understand. It's like he is so emotionally attatched to this sort of mindset and expectations that all the arguments I present don't even get past his negative brainwashed mind. It's like he doesent even WANT to believe anything diffrent. I guess he gets a sense of certinty from it. ****, who knows.

But what I DO know is that what he believes is complete bull****. I had three of my fingers cut off in a lawnmower accident a few years back and you know what? It has made me powerful. It GAVE me power. I can honestly say that. Thru that experience I had to really allighn with the core of who I am and move forward. And that process, as hard as it was, created in me this unshakable confidence and knowing of myself that to me is something that Is so special to me.

Yeah, I was a guitar player my whole life playing in punk and metal bands and then BOOM it's gone. Then I decide that ****
It, I'll be a singe now. And then what did I have to do? Well, I had to quit smoking, stop hanging out with certian people who were of negative influence, start a brand new habit of practicing this new skill. Just the quiting smoking ALONE created this incredable momentum where I felt like "****, if I can do that, then imagine what else I can change and improve with myself and my lifestyle." And man, it's taken a year and a half of practicing to get to a level where I am ready to sing in a band now. And who knows, maybe I wouldn't have stuck out the innitial learning period if I hadn't built the momentum from those other sacrifices beforehand. Because let me tell you, guitar came to me so natural and so fast, I expected singing to also. But it certianly was a much slower kind of progress that took much more dedication than the guitar. But you know what? I've learned all this **** about myself and what it takes to get good at ANYTHING now. And that seems like, you know, a pretty valuable thing.

So, back to what I was saying about my friend. ALL the power he has to create change in his life, and to get things shakin, he's handing away! Either subconsciously, or consciously. Dude, what a waste of a life. What a waste of this awesome gift we've been given to create just for the sake of creating. I wish there was a way to shake him out of this trance he's in. The thing is, In This life, bad things will happen that throws us off our center. But you have the choice of just moving on, or you can make bizzar mass generlizations of that meaning that you're just doomed or that god wants your life to be one of suffering. And then from that point on, you will be looking for evidence of that being true, and at the same time not seeing evidence that it's NOT true and that you are in fact the one who is I charge of making your life the way you want it to be. And to me the most amazing thing about being alive is doing just that. Knowing what you want, deciding to get it, taking action, alighning your thought
processes with it, and preservering. And getting to know yourself and the power you posess in the process.

 

[lonelee1]

This is kinda powerful.and you're right, we do have the ability to create the lives we want.

 

[theslowesthand]

I like the way you think... and to an extent you're right that we can create the life we choose. However there are one or two "god-like" factors at play, which may be what your friend is referring to (ie not necessarily that god, the being, is making life difficult or bad for him).
Kind of like him, i used to feel i was actually "cursed" in this life, as i was always unhapy, dissatisfied, having major problems, etc. At one point, i put the "curse" down to being the reincarnation of an extremely wicked person (ie were "paying for" in this life all those sins). There really is no limit as to what "theories of life" your imagination can come up with; no real proof is needed for any of these beliefs/theories, but just connecting a few unrelated things together, feeling strongly about it, and then believing it - that's really all it takes to develop a new theory of one's life.

But back to the god-like factors. One such thing is our DNA. We can't change that. And via our DNA we get for example, the over-active hypothalumus (responsible for fight/flight responses), and that is a major factor in having SA/SP and a host of other psychological/anxiety issues.

Another related thing we can't alter, is our basic personality. Nor our date/sesaon of birth, which affects personality. Nor our sex (both of which have their own set of issues).

And a third, which is veering into metaphysical territory, is the idea that each of us has a "blueprint" for their life, or a basic "life-purpose". Which brings me back to the idea that we can create the life we choose. I agree that we basically, within reason & capabilities, can do whatever we want with our life. BUT if it CONFLICTS with the "who we really are" (of which these 3 poiints contribute to), there there'll be no end of trouble.

Also the subconscious, which is way more influential than we tend to belief, can contain beliefs/tracks that are almost impossible to budge, no matter WHAT you try to think consciously, or do. It affects everything with those thoughts/beliefs. Nothing short of brain-surgery, or some really deep, regressive, intensive, subliminal, hypnotising kind of therapy, could be able to change this. Not impossible, just very very improbable. Of course there are certain subconscious things we CAN change, so not all is lost in this area.

The common thread I notice from all he was saying to me is this: that a force outside of his control is shaping his life situation. Not him. That he is the one not in control here. That god or people or life or fate has it so he will always suffer bad situations and poor success

We humans have in truth, a surprisingly low amount of real control in our lives, but the illusion that stands for many or most, is that WE are the ones "in control of our lives". The above are but a few of the many things we cannot control (or can barely control). Others are: the weather, solar storms, tides, seasons, our birth family/relatives, birthday (& sun sign).

So in summary, there are indeed forces outside of his control acting upon his life. BUT they are NOT "all-bad" (causing just bad things to happen, never good things). I think, as you said, that he needs to find his true self, his true purpose, and then things will flow, he'll stop fighting life, and maybe he'll stop attracting the bad situations in his life?. It could be that he's doing the wrong things in his life, which attracts all the disasters. Or it might be that these events have been "given" to him (by "higher forces"), in order to teach him needed life lessons that his soul needs to grow from. Who's to say, i certainly can't. But there are these & other possiblities. Perhaps if he opened his mind to various such possibilities, it could help him get out of the rut he's in???

 

[laure15]

I'm not sure if I agree with the statement "you are in fact the one who is in charge of making your life the way you want it to be". What if you want to be a basketball player or a model but you're only 4'10'' and too poor to afford surgery to grow taller? What are your chances of becoming a basketball player or a model? Also, not everyone can join MENSA, even though some people desperately try to; not everyone has the required minimum IQ. However, there are some things in life that are within reach. For example, if you can't be a model, why don't you settle for the next best thing, a model's manager/agent.

 

[Raichel]

It's not about being in control of your own life, it's about how you deal with stuff that simply happens to you.