Problems with living in a student house.

[Jimsie]

I live with 3 other students in a house and i am too scared to go downstairs incase they will talk to me. I even avoid going to the toilet and getting food. This has only really started seriously affecting me recently as the only person i talked to has now moved out and the others are spending almost all day in the kitchen. I feel ill, very depressed and some nights i feel like i am going crazy. I want to go home but I need to stay here for the last 6 weeks of university.

I have spoke to them individually a bit and theyve been ok but at as a group they are quite loud and i cant stand the anxiety every single day. Once one of them asked me why i dont talk to them and i tried to make up excuses but then i just agreed that i would start talking to them just to get out of the conversation. Now i avoid them more than ever, its seriously effecting my work and my health i dont know what to do. I know they are judging me constantly for not talking to them and its so obvious that i avoid as much as i possibly can. I have always had SA and depression but never as extreme as this i feel like i have had my basic human needs taken away from me and i cant stand it any more. I dont know what to do.

 

[princess_haru]

Since you can talk to them a bit individually, you could speak to the one you feel most comfortable with and explain that you're quite shy/feeling depressed (whatever you feel most comfortable telling them) and you're not used to living with so many people, so that's the reason you avoid them, and it's not that you don't like them. People can get funny when they think they're disliked or being snubbed, so I think you'd be better off explaining to one of them who can then talk to the others. Of course, this could result in them trying to be helpful and "bring you out of your shell" (it's happened to me before!) but that's gotta be better than having them misunderstand you completely! Hope this helps a little. Good luck with whatever you decide to do

 

[Jimsie]

Thanks for the reply. I dont think i could get myself to tell them how i have SA, i couldnt even just say its shyness because its obviously really extreme. I almost prefer them thinking i avoid them because i dont like them because at least thats more "normal". Ive never told anyone i have SA, i pretend like i dont even have a problem with it.

I really dont like being in groups i dont think i could tolerate it every single day. But otherwise it would be like me asking them to leave the kitchen just so i can get food. I hate being judged or being seen as weird, for some reason i prefer them to have the wrong idea because there just making presumptions then and not judging me for the way i really am.

 

[doesit]

any chance yous have house partys ? just wait for the weekend and throw a party,get plenty of beers and the next thing you ll notice waking up next morning feeling all sick and sharing your emotions what a great night/party it was.that way you will get to know them closer and find someting in common.I know its not the best advice,but few beers might losen things up.

 

[princess_haru]

Hmm yeah I know what you mean about telling people how you feel. It's scary and not something I do lightly. Would you feel any more comfortable telling them you have depression? I don't know if this is true in your case, but it seems to go hand in hand with SA. It's much more well known and socially accepted as a lot of people have talked in public about their depression, and it would explain why you don't behave very sociably without you having to mention shyness

 

[Jimsie]

Hmm yeah I know what you mean about telling people how you feel. It's scary and not something I do lightly. Would you feel any more comfortable telling them you have depression? I don't know if this is true in your case, but it seems to go hand in hand with SA. It's much more well known and socially accepted as a lot of people have talked in public about their depression, and it would explain why you don't behave very sociably without you having to mention shyness

One of them actually asked the guy who i talked to if i had depression and then he asked me directly. But when he asked me i was in a good mood and was joking about and stuff, it really caught me off guard so i just said that i dont. I think if they asked me directly now i would say that i do, but i still cant go up to them and just tell them straight off like that.