Positive thinking vs negative

dannyboy65

Well-known member
#1
I think a lot and I noticed when I was a negative person nothing was going right for me. I became a drug abusing alcoholic, who stole and couldn't get anybodies trust or friendship. I only had friends that used me to feed their addiction. I was bullied non stop and kept trying to kill myself.

One day though I decided I didn't want to live like that anymore. So I joined an autism foundation and began to think positive. I have to tell you guys the way you think affects your life.

When I was negative only bad things happened, and it caused damage to my mind. I was to scared to do anything and I tried to forget everything. I didn't want to live anymore.

Now since I became positive I've been thriving. I'm top marks, drug and alcohol free, have more then 15 friends, know what I want to do for a career, and most recently I was introduced to a very sweet girl with the same morals as me.

My point is maybe you should give positive thinking a try. It's a little thing but it helps in a big way you don't even notice.
 

Missing

Well-known member
#2
I think it's great positive thinking helped you out a lot.

Unfortunately for me, positive thinking always hurt me more when things didn't workout.

I think for some people too, (according to my therapist last Thursday) their brain just isn't wired to think positive.

I think pairing positive thinking with also not letting things get to you so much would be the perfect recipe. Easier said than done for some, though. I'm guilty of letting small things ruin days or even weeks.
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
#3
I think it's great positive thinking helped you out a lot.

Unfortunately for me, positive thinking always hurt me more when things didn't workout.

I think for some people too, (according to my therapist last Thursday) their brain just isn't wired to think positive.

I think pairing positive thinking with also not letting things get to you so much would be the perfect recipe. Easier said than done for some, though. I'm guilty of letting small things ruin days or even weeks.
My belief is that positive thinking only helps when it has positive external validation. In other words, if a person takes up positive thinking and by chance something really positive happens outside themselves then that will reinforce the positive thinking. But life doesn't work that way for everyone. It is possible to think positive and have nothing happen or even have negative happen.
Also, having a positive group of people to be around regularly would help with positive thinking. Again, not easy for us folks who have social issues.
So I see positive thinking like taking 5000mg of vitamin c daily, it might make you feel better for a while mentally in some small way, but in reality it isnt really doing much good for the average person. It's a placebo.
What the average person craves and needs is positive external things to happen to them regularly but that doesn't seem to be the default of reality for most people.
 

Rawz

Well-known member
#4
Think positive thoughts some or most of the time is only part of it. In my opinion, you need to do more than change negative thoughts to positive ones. You need to also change any negative beliefs that get in the way to positive ones. It's about really changing yourself and then keeping yourself from going back to who you were. It's not easy, maybe impossible for some people, but it's what I keep trying to do.

And like S_Spartan said, getting positive external validation for it will help a ton. I don't think it's necessary for everyone/all the time, but it will definitely help and make it easier.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
#5
Think positive thoughts some or most of the time is only part of it. In my opinion, you need to do more than change negative thoughts to positive ones. You need to also change any negative beliefs that get in the way to positive ones. It's about really changing yourself and then keeping yourself from going back to who you were. It's not easy, maybe impossible for some people, but it's what I keep trying to do.

And like S_Spartan said, getting positive external validation for it will help a ton. I don't think it's necessary for everyone/all the time, but it will definitely help and make it easier.
That's what I mean Rawz I guess I didn't explain to well. But you do have to change your actions while thinking positively in order to achieve success.
 

Argentum

Well-known member
#6
I tried positive thinking for years... didn't do squat. I was still sick, I was still anxious, and I was still alone.

I approached people with honest sympathy and listened to their problems, figuring they were just having a hard time and had no ill intentions towards me with the amount of complaining they did. They still talked over me weeks down the road about anything not their problem, and trash-talked me online where I could see. I didn't have to approach them or their situation negatively; reality cares nothing for what I think or feel. Arseholes will be arseholes, people with an agenda will continue to have their agenda, and incompatible people will remain incompatible. We do not control others, we only attempt to convince them.

Changing my diet, my motivations, and my goals started making me better. I gained self-esteem through a better body, better talents, and more control over myself and my external environment. I am all I have and all I will ever have, and so I treat my body and mind as a temple. People were attracted to my sense of personal power when I was confident, never to my vulnerability or my kindness (except to hungrily suck it up), and I rest assured that, as success comes to me more and more people will want to be my "friend".

Just sick of hearing the same old recycled talk about positive thinking, is all. As if positive thinking and not perspective and self-respect healed my sexual abuse. I always thought it was funny, too, how quickly adherents of positive thinking would become negative and sling blame 'n' shame whenever someone didn't jump on board. I wasn't trying hard enough, I deserved it, etc.
 
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#7
Positive thinking is an incredibly powerful tool.

But unfortunately the fact that positive thinking is less of a thought and more a very difficult skill is rarely conveyed. It requires you to recognize your own behaviour intimately, being able to intercept and contextualize negative impulses, to not only create but also enforce personal social protocols that allow you keep yourself positive and strong in public WITHOUT it being just an act. And that's just a few of them.

You do get better at them over time, similarly to how you get better at driving over time. And one skill will lead to another more often than not. But to do all this you do need some kind of motivation and strength to keep you going. Not to mention any trace of self pity will merely serve to undermine your progress, which we see a lot of around this website. Myself included in the past.

When you've got all of the above down you're at much better odds to think positive, and in time become more positive. Which gives you the strength to engage life even if you suffer from anxiety. But I feel the difficulty involved is generally wildly misrepresented and is therefore often, without deserving it, dismissed as hippy-happy-go-lucky nonsense that doesn't work.

No offence to you, of course, DannyBoy. Because you're definitely not wrong. This is less of a direct response and more a side tangent on the topic of positive thinking.
 
#8
I'm glad you changed. I also read an article before about mindset. You should look up growth vs. fixed mindset on Google. Was able to learn a lot from it! Now I strive for having a growth mindset.
 
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