Please help, anxiety at work making me want to quit

[jodiesmitham]

Well, I am at work this morning and dreading the whole day. I have tried feeling positive, but it's just not working for me. I am the first one in, but I have a sick feeling in my stomach as I wait for the others to come in (all jolly).

I just feel like I don't fit in and am soooo close to quitting. I know that leaving would be a bad idea, but the pain I am feeling at the moment is all consuming. I just wish I could run away.

Jodie

 

[Richey]

Ask yourself is this your dream career and is it bringing you any happiness? before you think of leaving ...

I love music so i got a job at a music store and loved every minute to the point where social anxiety was non existant ..unfortunatley it doesnt pay well ..

i 'm into art and history so i'd like a job at a museum even if its starting off in the cafe or in security to start off with, but it means i'm in the right building for my tastes. ..

i'm studying IT because i get a kick out of building computers and the only real drawback is i dislike coding and java but i need to learn to enjoy that more so i can get into the industry ...

unfortunately many high paying jobs involve you selling your soul a little to reach those heights, boring office cucbicle jobs where your stuck on major projects and with a team you are glued to isn't for everyone, its certainly not my idea of what i want out of a job, i need change of scenery, so if thats the case isnt it safe to say it may as well be on the path to your dream job or its all pointless? ..

don't be afraid to walk out of a job, ive done it many times where either the managers annoyed me or they werent paying me right, i just walked out ...but only the jobs that disrespected me in the first place, i wouldnt walk out on a job where the people treated me well

the worst thing you can do is stay in a job you dislike for a long time, because you dont progress you stay stagnent

If you leave you can always claim benefits until you find another job, depends where you live but there are many choices to go down if you leave a job that keeps the income flowing ....

 

[VioletTears]

Jodie, I can relate so well...

I'm a preschool teacher and dealing with the little kids is fine, but having to deal with co-workers and parents causes me such huge amounts of anxiety that it's taking over my life. I have been having major anxiety, depression, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, self harm, etc, and I think most of it has been triggered by anxiety.

I have started meds (effexoer and xanax) and therapy... Honestly therapy is really hard for me because I turn into such a nervous wreck and choke on all my words. I feel like there's not even hope of things really getting better, I just want to quit, but I don't know what job I could do that wouldn't cause me anxiety... I thought of something like stuffing envelopes because it's hard to mess up at and maybe I would worry less about being judged, but it wouldn't be the same rate of pay, so then I think my DH would be mad...

It's like, I got my degree, a good, respectable career, a husband, a child, a house... And all I can think is, maybe thaty was all a mistake, because now I'm trapped by all of it. I don't want to let anyone down but I don't feel strong enough to handle working... or anything...

 

[jayo]

Violent Tears

You are a beautiful young woman with a beautiful child.

Husband, degree, good job - you've achieved so much yet put yourself down.

Just think - if you were a friend what would you say - you would be far more supportive.

I think you have let automatic negative thoughts creep into your thinking and haven't given yourself enough time to dismiss them.

Work on catching these negative thoughts and dismissing them - listen to subliminal messaging tapes - see yourself as you would want to be.

I have come through this process in my job - I reasoned that I wasn't go to let this condition prevent me from doing what I know I'm good at and valued at - I work as a Chief Financial Officer - anxiety over meetings and other contact can be overcome - but you need to work on this daily.

Also - be easy on yourself!!

 

[PhantomPod]

I know how hard and frustrating it is Jodie. My first thought is really "no, don't quit!" But when I think about it, I think I would only say that because of the money factor. The sad truth is that it is necessary to work and make a living. What else do you think you would like to do, job wise, that might be better for you and your SA?

Today I didn't even take a break (I usually get an hour break) because I was too anxious and shy to even be able to say "hey guys, I'm going on break" to the co-workers in my group who sit near me. Why do I do things like that?!?! I always get anxious about having to say that when I take breaks, but today it's like I was crippled by fear and couldn't even say it and before I knew it my break time had passed and a co-worker went on his break. There are times when I don't say anything and I just leave, but then during my whole break I get all paranoid thinking that my coworkers are sitting there thinking, "where did she go? it's so weird how she just up and leaves and doesn't say anthing to us."

On Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment, so had to take a half day. I came in on Wednesday and had messages on my answering message. It took 30 minutes for me to psyche myself up enough to call one of them back. Then the person wasn't very nice in telling me about something I did wrong, so I then spent another 30 minutes trying to calm myself down so that I could actually start my work for the day.

It's just really amazing how exhausting it can be to get through the work day. Good thing the weekend is almost here.

 

[jodiesmitham]

Phantom Pod, yes I feel the same way. It is EXHAUSTING trying to get through the day. I also feel bad when I take lunches/time off for doctor's appointments - even though I am entitled to them!! I just feel that people are thinking I am bad at my job all the time.

Problem is, walking away would give me temporary relief so I know quitting would be a bad idea. Most of my jobs have been a year here and there, though I've worked solidly since leaving Uni 10 years ago. Already I am dreading work tomorrow - my Sundays are always ruined in this way.

I am wondering why we are all feeling like this? Something must have happened to each and every one of us during our childhood? I know my Mum is this way (suffers from SA) and didn't work from the age of 26 until she retired a few years ago.

Violent Tears, you must be feeling pretty down. Perhaps you are expecting too much of yourself? Do you think you would feel trapped if you were married to someone else?

I am so tired of feeling this way. Every day is a struggle and I have to put on a brave face and hope that no-one sees me for who I really am - a scared and unsettled individual who is screaming inside to be left alone.

Jodie

 

[jodiesmitham]

Well, I had my session with the 'amazing' guy that is supposed to help people with things like phobias.

In a nut shell he told me the following:

- I don't suffer from social phobia at all - I am just lacking a bit of confidence.
- I need to stop being negative about myself but focus on the positive.
- I need to control how I respond to situations.

All in all, it was kinda worth the money (this guy charged a lot), but I wouldn't really recommend him. There are some positive things I can get from this, but I think I was expecting a miracle.

I still feel crap when I'm at work and I am not sure that he is correct in saying I don't have some form of social phobia. My problems occur when other people are around, so that's social phobia in my books. Maybe I was putting on my 'poker face' when talking to him, so he assumed I could converse pretty well. I was exhausted by the end of it and had a major migraine the next day! I then felt very low over the next few days, but am feeling pretty positive now after doing a few exercises.

Jodie