Phone number

[aj]

Here I go again... thanks to office email I've managed to get someone's phone number, just as a mate. Unlike some people she actually seems to answer her messages. Last night I sent her a text so she had my number and we ended up having a conversation for a while.

I've kind of asked this before but though it may sound stupid I'm not sure what to do now. It feels like I almost, almost have someone I can call a proper friend. It feels better and more relaxed this time around. She has a boyfriend of a couple of years and I'm not intending to move in like 'that'... I would just like to see her outside of work and get to know her more. But what's appropriate? What do you think I should do?

Amazing isn't it. Get a phone number... no idea what to do with it once it's in your phone.

 

[gracekellyacousticdevendr]

call her and say hii and then turn off

 

[meatcake]

She has a boyfriend of a couple of years and I'm not intending to move in like 'that'... I would just like to see her outside of work and get to know her more. But what's appropriate? What do you think I should do?

Personally, I'd be wary of her if you find her attractive. But if not, then those can be decent friendships. But really, if she's attractive, and you become good friends, and then you start really liking her, but she wants to stick with her boyfriend... well, not so good.

 

[aj]

Yes, I know, it's a pain isn't it. But I would like to give this a try. I could actually have one of these 'friend' things here. I'm trying to put anything about fancying her or not out of my mind for the moment. My attraction to people is way too sensitive anyway and I need to keep telling myself that.

But yeah like asking for a number in the first place, if I could even get myself to make a phone call... I don't know what happens with that. I haven't called anyone socially, well, since I last knew someone really - ten years ago? Even then I let them call me. I'd like to call just for a chat but it seems so... serious. Feels like she's going to think I'm in trouble or something. This is stupid isn't it?

 

[Sloth]

I don't know, probably just keep talking as you are until you find a common interest or something. Perhaps by just taking it at a slow, and taking small steps you might gradually build a bit more confidence.

Good on you though, I would have been to afraid to even text her. Just say 'give me a call sometime' or something, or just be partially honest and tell her that you feel like you'll be bothering her if you call. Easier said than done I know.

 

[aj]

She's really easy to talk to and we seem to like the same kind of music so that's something I suppose. I don't deserve much credit because I still asked her via email I have hardly any problem texting, but making a phone call is still another level altogether. She knows I find things difficult because there's no way I can hide it but she doesn't know more than she has to. Which is why this feels a bit more genuine instead of straightforward pity.

This is probably good practise actually. If I can't speak to her like this, what would I do if I was intending on more!?

I like the idea of asking her to call me. That lets her do what she wants doesn't it. I just have to answer it when it rings... oh dear ::

 

[Danfalc]

I like the idea of asking her to call me. That lets her do what she wants doesn't it. I just have to answer it when it rings... oh dear ::

Im not keen on using phones at all,im pretty much useless on them and my head just goes blank hehe Just one thing I find helps though,if you do get her to ring you,try and make sure you dont know exactly when the call is happening,otherwise you will just sit and worry i think.It if comes randomly out of the blue and you just answer it without thinking That might eliminate some build up anxiety,and once youve picked it up you might find the convo really flows.

 

[aj]

That is a good idea - she said she might try to call me over the Easter break, but she has her family down so she will be busy and it may not happen.

God things get weird. The guys went for a drink after work last night. It was crap but just as I was going to get up, guess who should also decide to leave? So we walked together to our cars. Hope it doesn't sound patronising(?) but it felt like I had a girlfriend for a moment. It was everything I'd hoped that getting a few minutes alone with someone would be.

The cars were only five minutes away but it was the most open five minutes of my life, though of course it was still awkward. Now I'm sad because that hadn't happened before, and it will probably never happen again.