People hate me!

[gsmax5]

I have always been on the shy side, but my shyness was never a problem for me until 7 or so years ago.

People have hated me ever since Elementary School. In the 4th grade, I moved to a new school. There was this group of popular kids who seemed to be friends with every one but me. They thought I was annoying because I liked to joke around a lot. Every time a word came out of my mouth, even if I wasn't at all trying to be funny, this one kid would always tell me "You're not funny." Most kids probably wouldn't be bothered by that at all, but I would cry when I came home from school because of those comments.

I truly became social phobic in the 7th grade when a kid called me a "rejected class clown" right in the middle of class in front of a bunch of cute girls for something I said that I didn't even mean for to be funny. Because of this, among a bunch of other things, I made a conscious decision to become totally quiet. People didn't hate me when I was quiet, I was tired of being hated, so I decided not to talk anymore.

This turned into a complete fear of all socialization, and now I doubt I will ever be normal again.

 

[loloy]

Those kids that made fun of you make me angry! The reason they made fun of you was because they were jealous - they could see you having fun and making people laugh and they thought you might become more popular than them and so they had to put a stop to that. I was never bullied in school but at home my dad was the domineering type and what he said was law and so I feared being wrong all the time etc so I feel thats where my sa came from. Ive come along way with counselling and the feelings of im my own person now and my dad or those kids that bullied you don't have an affect on our lives anymore. oh and people DON'T hate you - thats just the sa talking. My counsellor told me when I feel really intense feelings and there is not much need for it ( when say a guy ive been seeing for only a little while breaks up with me and I feel really intense sadness and rejection - well this is not because this guy dumped me that i barely knew - its going back to how I felt as a child been rejected and looking for approval ) and when this happens to remember and stop myself and say these feelings are not justified for this situation.

 

[fudgy]

I have always been on the shy side, but my shyness was never a problem for me until 7 or so years ago.

People have hated me ever since Elementary School. In the 4th grade, I moved to a new school. There was this group of popular kids who seemed to be friends with every one but me. They thought I was annoying because I liked to joke around a lot. Every time a word came out of my mouth, even if I wasn't at all trying to be funny, this one kid would always tell me "You're not funny." Most kids probably wouldn't be bothered by that at all, but I would cry when I came home from school because of those comments.

I truly became social phobic in the 7th grade when a kid called me a "rejected class clown" right in the middle of class in front of a bunch of cute girls for something I said that I didn't even mean for to be funny. Because of this, among a bunch of other things, I made a conscious decision to become totally quiet. People didn't hate me when I was quiet, I was tired of being hated, so I decided not to talk anymore.

This turned into a complete fear of all socialization, and now I doubt I will ever be normal again.

I don;t know what I can say to help , but take note of the fact that you have made me more determined to make sure my emily does not suffer in her adult life like you.

I moved here two years ago and she has been to hell and back at her new school ...called fat/useless/ugly/worthless/not welcome etc etc, she has had snot rubbed in her hair , her packed lunch thrown on the floor , laughed at , humiliated and basically made to feel like a piece of sh**.


I am very very happy to say that things have taken a turn and it all seems to be over now , and she has herself a little network of pals now.

I am crying my eyes just thinking if you where my child and I was reading this , ::

I am sorry your life has turned out this way , but thankyou for making me more determined to help emily have a fulfilling and happy life.

your not hated ..infact I have more respect for you than you could ever know.

 

[planemo]

Obviously the response to you by others was less than satisfactory, but it just means there were a few jerks in school, and not that 'everyone' hated you. I was on the receiving end of pretty demoralizing behaviour too, and I too felt that no one liked me, but that's just not true. I got most of my bad treatment from family and distant relatives. I was quiet, I kept to myself and the rest were all buddy - buddy. So I was the odd one out, and usually the ring leader would pick on me, and then everyone else would too. I never fought back, so this behaviour continued. I always felt there was something 'wrong' with me, otherwise why would I be singled out. The truth is they're the one with a problem and not you.

Now we are all adults and these guys still show this behaviour towards others, and I don't even hang out with them anymore. So it's just certain people who are themselves flawed and probably picked on you because they were jealous.

 

[Johno]

This may sound weird. However I don't care about being popular... It doesn't matter to me... It never has.. However I understand that it is important to others...

 

[Johno]

How are things???

 

[Luthien]

I have always been on the shy side, but my shyness was never a problem for me until 7 or so years ago.

People have hated me ever since Elementary School. In the 4th grade, I moved to a new school. There was this group of popular kids who seemed to be friends with every one but me. They thought I was annoying because I liked to joke around a lot. Every time a word came out of my mouth, even if I wasn't at all trying to be funny, this one kid would always tell me "You're not funny." Most kids probably wouldn't be bothered by that at all, but I would cry when I came home from school because of those comments.

I truly became social phobic in the 7th grade when a kid called me a "rejected class clown" right in the middle of class in front of a bunch of cute girls for something I said that I didn't even mean for to be funny. Because of this, among a bunch of other things, I made a conscious decision to become totally quiet. People didn't hate me when I was quiet, I was tired of being hated, so I decided not to talk anymore.

This turned into a complete fear of all socialization, and now I doubt I will ever be normal again.

That sucks!! God sometimes I hate teenagers so much!!! One of my biggest fears about having kids is having a teenager. I remember when I was in school, how horrible and awful the kids could be. It makes me so mad!! Especially because it seems like there is nothing you can do but wait. I dropped out when I was 16 and left home when I was 17 to go traveling just to get away from that stupid house and all those stupid kids!

I'm 26 and I STILL harbor all this pain and anger at the people I went to school with. Their effect can be so strong and lasting. I know it doesn't seem helpful when you're in the thick of it, but you should know that people wont treat you like that when you get out of school. The way kids are mean is rare and isn't usually carried into adulthood. I guess the secret is to see yourself as the black sheep. Be quiet if that's what you need to survive, but know that inside you is someone great and awesome. Know that those kids are dumb and don't deserve access to the real you. You put on a nice show for them everyday, pretending to be quiet and shy, but you don't have to carry that over to the rest of your life! Shake it off when you go home! Don't let them taint your life! Don't let them control who you are with their nasty words!

The only way I know to deal with teenagers being cruel is to turn it around on them by not letting it get to you. I know it's hard to do, but if you can hear "you're not funny" and say "yea, maybe I'm not!" or something like that, then they have totally failed. They tried to insult you and it didn't work, because you cannot be insulted! I don't know, I never did this myself (I was just miserable) but my boyfriend did, and he turned out okay.

 

[Emily_G]

Kids suck....end of story. Your story made me sad

 

[philly2bits]

Oh ha. I was just being slightly sarcastic. Ya know, with the whole, "for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." You annoy me, I annoy you. You hate me, thus I hate you. You try to bully me, and I'll bully you. Stupendously childish, yes, but undeniably cathartic.

Doing something like that might make the situation worse. ::

I prefer to ignore people like that rather then bother with any confrontation.

 

[Johno]

A beautiful mind (if thats your photo) should not be allowed on this forum.... It's unfair to have such an attractive young lady on this forum... God I am listening to James Blunt again.... You're beautiful , you're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true, I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do, because I will never be with you. Yes she caught me eye as I walked on by, she could see by my face that I was ****in high and I don't think that I will see her again but we shared a moment that will last to the end, You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true ... I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do because I will never be with you.... ETC

 

[Johno]

I've had a cold shower and feel ok.... Back to the discussion at hand...People hate me too.. I just ignore them.. Try to focus on the positive feedback that you get..Generally people hate you for a reason.... I know with myself that they hate me because they are jealous of me... It's probaby the same for you.... If you are a good looking guy and tall then most people will hate you... If you are a good looking guy, tall and intelligent then you have no chance of being liked.... LOL

 

[Pookah]

I've had a cold shower and feel ok.... Back to the discussion at hand...People hate me too.. I just ignore them.. Try to focus on the positive feedback that you get..Generally people hate you for a reason.... I know with myself that they hate me because they are jealous of me... It's probaby the same for you.... If you are a good looking guy and tall then most people will hate you... If you are a good looking guy, tall and intelligent then you have no chance of being liked.... LOL

Lol wow, really, wow....



Just wow!

 

[Johno]

Ok Pookah you have made your point... However there is truth in what I am saying.... I am sure a young attractive young lady such as your self could vouch for that... Spare me the sarcasm... Cheers

 

[Johno]

I think that it is important for us social phobics to learn to love themselves... CBT is also very effective..

 

[gsmax5]

Doing something like that might make the situation worse. ::

I prefer to ignore people like that rather then bother with any confrontation.

With someone as un-intimidating as myself, that's often the ONLY thing you can do to be left alone. Sometimes though, people persist in harassing you, and you're really left with no other choice but to take their harassment.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

'Hate' is quite a strong word. 'Antipathy' may be more appropriate. Still, I know how you feel. Some people tend to be petty and will dislike or hate others over the slightest thing. God knows I've had people dislike me over the dumbest **** possible. This used to really **** with my head, but now I know better than to waste my time and energy worrying about such idiots. Maybe they're doing me a favor by disliking me because then I would never have to be subjected to their presence. Just because others may dislike you does not mean that they have a good reason to it does not mean that you ought to dislike yourself or feel as though you cannot be yourself around others. Don't let such petty bastards make their pettiness your problem. After all, if they don't like you it's their problem and their problem alone.

perfect.. couldn't have said it better myself!!

 

[illuminationSP]

I always feel disliked or unwanted, no matter how much love I'm shown. I feel as though people only tolerate me. I'm trying to believe there's no truth to this, but my poor self image always says otherwise.

 

[RightSaidteddy]

I can echo that sentiment but, I will say there is one difference between being conventionally bullied by someone else, basically being used.

I think some people are afraid to get mad about people bullying them; it's perfectly natural to be angry about it. But what are you going to do when there are no grounds for moral resolution. i.e. "Let’s talk about it" " Or lets reach an understanding"

I think people are sometimes taught not to Fight; mentally or physically. Maybe be their family or whatever, the bottom line is that sometimes you have to take the intellectual high ground of "turning the other cheek" other times you simply have to fight back" mentally or physically.

People are afraid to lose sometimes, sorry to use a cliché but it is a hard knock life, if your afraid to get beaten then you’re already a loser. Don't be afraid of taking knocks socially or otherwise, it happens, but stand your ground and fight with everything you have, cause at the end of the day were all just highly evolved animals, who have lost the fundamental principal of survival. There is a thin line between standing up for yourself and being a coward.

 

[Pink_Paula]

I used to think people hated me, until i realised it was me that hated myself, i always expect the worst from people that the slightest sign of disinterest would prove to me how worthless i was! But i was soooooooo wrong, recently i have been proved wrong by the people i socialise with, they seem to like me and apprciate me for who i am which make me feel less of a idiot in some ways lol

 

[Luthien]

I used to think people hated me, until i realised it was me that hated myself, i always expect the worst from people that the slightest sign of disinterest would prove to me how worthless i was! But i was soooooooo wrong, recently i have been proved wrong by the people i socialise with, they seem to like me and apprciate me for who i am which make me feel less of a idiot in some ways lol

I agree with this, definitely! When I was in middle school, my "friends" were awful to me and I was so lonely and unhappy, but one day I just said f**k it and dressed how I wanted and said what I wanted and after that, I made friends and even got a boyfriend. How you carry yourself is a huge part of how other people see you. If you walk around like you're hot sh*t, that's what people will see, but if you walk around thinking you're the worst, other people will agree.