Parents...

[4seasons]

Do any of you have parents who pressure you to go out with them? For example hockey games....Tonight my Mom and step-Dad went to a hockey game and wanted me to go and even bought a ticket for me without telling me. My excuse was "i hate AHL games" hahaha. Instead i stayed home and got drunk by myself haha sad. My Mom knows i have this problem and tries to help but she just doesn't understand. When they ask me to do stuff with them i feel bad bad when i say no and i can tell my Mom is disappointed. I'm not sure if they take it to seriously, if they do they're trying help. I just don't know what to do because i feel like shit every time i say no. I don't have any motivation to do anything like go to a game, where most people people would have fun i will be looking forward to hen its over.

Anyones else have parents like this?

Also shouldn't I be excited about stuff like this? Everyone else has fun at this at this kind of stuff. I just feel no motivation to even try to have fun.

 

[nhen]

I'm not so afraid of places and events where social interaction will be kept to a minimum. However, if you take something like a dance, then yes. My parents don't try to make me go places anymore because I'm married and have my own family now. Nevertheless, there was a time when my sister's rather sympathetic friends tried to pull me out of my shell and get me to go to dances and whatnot.

I was grateful for their attempt, but like you say, they just didn't understand. Finding excuses not to go was hard, but it was even harder when they gave up. I would say it's ironic, but for an SP, it isn't actually ironic...just sad.

 

[Caseums21]

As a matter of fact, last night my dad was trying to talk me into going to the grocery store, church, and out to dinner with him. I feel horrible because all he does is work and he normally doesn't get time off. My brother lives about 2 hours away and my dad is divorced. So I'm about the only one left.

I don't mind going to the grocery store but he takes forever. I like to go in, get what I need, and leave.

Just like nhen, my brother's friends try to get me out of the house. I'm good at making excuses now but I hate it.

 

[recluse]

I wish my parents would be like that, you see my parents are homebodies so there's no encouragement for me. They also don't have any close friends unlike when they were young so they never have as long as i have been alive, invited anyone to the house for dinner and things like that.

 

[Richey]

yup, they pressure you in such a way that often to say "no, i can't go" would be like commmitting an awful crime ...so they inflict guilt onto you ..

notice if you did adimitly say i have other plans they'll say something like

"ok, dont be surprised if your cousin geoffrey never invites you anywhere ever again" ...

to use a lame metaphor ..

rather then being fun about it and asking you nicely, because you see to them they have this sense of ownership over you being your parent ..

its a tricky pickle to be in, we've all been there

They mean no harm and want to help out yet at the same time have an element of control over you thats unhealthy

 

[gqguru]

My parents don't know about my BDD. They are also very social people. So, when they ask me to things they don't really think anything of it. I've really never been able to make up a faux story to tell, to avoid going to anything they wish me to attend. Which is strange because with anyone else I can't think up a story w/o hestitation as to why I'm unable to go out with them.
I do still feel like the hideous,awkward, anxious person I am on the inside when I'm out with them becasue of everyone else around us, and what they must be thinking of me. But, I'm not particularly worried about what my parents think about my appearence.....maybe b/c I know that they are not judging me based on that?!. It's almost like I'm a little mellower around them becasue I'm comfortable with them. Thus, I'm able to act as though all is kosher?!
I really have no idea if this makes sense. In ways it confuses me why I'm able to do this. For all I know they could be thinking I'm a fake robot?! Does anyone else have certain people they can actually be 'real' around, Or atleast give the illusion of 'real'?