parent controls me

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

A parent controls me. I want to make friends and meet people but parent won't let me. I'm 38 and have social anxiety. I do go up and talk to pretty women. Am getting better at it. My parent is too protective of me. He wants me to be with perfect people. They unfortunately don't exist. I had a chance to meet a woman and he said no no way. He threatens to move away things like that. No wonder I have social anxiety.

 

[Anomaly]

I suppose you can start by asking him where these "perfect people" may be found and how they're determined to be perfect.

 

[BlackPuma]

Tell this person to back off. At the age of 38 you should be capable of making your own friends without people disapproving. I'd say, if this person threatens to move away, then simply say ''Well, who's stopping you?''. It's harsh, but really, he can't manipulate you like that.

Meeting new people is hard enough as it is with social phobia. No need for this person to make it even harder..

Be your own man, and talk to people YOU want to. It's disrespectful of this person to manipulate you like a child at your age.

 

[mismeek]

Sounds like letting the parent move away might be best for you.

 

[recluse]

I feel you. I often feel that because i live with my parents that i am treated like a kid.

 

[PunkRotten]

You are an adult. It seems your parent has some insecurities and some reason to control you. Maybe doesn't want you to move out? Maybe doesn't want you to have a life, or make relationships? Does he also criticize you all the time?

 

[Felgen]

Tell your father to f*ck off. You're a grown man, and he can no longer act as if he owns you. There's no such thing as a perfect person, but there are perfect matches. What your father may see as a perfect match, may not be a perfect match for you.

 

[THE-INTROVERT]

i feel like my parents look down on me just because i dont have a job and my brother does im beginning to call him oh theres the golden boy in my own mind absolutly hate and i dont know why my mum would look down on me cuz she has a mental disorder aswell

 

[planemo]

Well both my parents control me, plus a sibling. So I'm pretty much caged in. One parent and the sibling are overly aggressive, and it's a major task to overcome and to reason with them. My one parent probably has a mental illness. And becomes incredibly angry at any behaviour deemed reckless, like going to a store and buying a soft drink no one has heard of. As an adult this type of behaviour has little effect on me, but as a child it totally cemented my view of being a puppet of someone very harsh and cruel. Even to this day I don't think that feeling has warn off. That harshness of control damaged me immeasurably as a child.

Did this play any role in giving me my social anxiety? No not at all. I would still be shy and insecure even if I had more "normal" people around me. What it did do, is make me terrified to make a mistake, no matter how small. And it made me afraid of doing anything "reckless", which in reality is not anywhere near being that way.

So yeah, life sucks when you have controlling people around you. And if anyone thinks that moving out, will help my position, then I can tell that won't happen. I will still be a possession of people, no matter where I reside.

 

[moksha]

A parent controls me. I want to make friends and meet people but parent won't let me. I'm 38 and have social anxiety. I do go up and talk to pretty women. Am getting better at it. My parent is too protective of me. He wants me to be with perfect people. They unfortunately don't exist. I had a chance to meet a woman and he said no no way. He threatens to move away things like that. No wonder I have social anxiety.

ur mom and daddy used to b in military?. They sound like contorl freak.
You r grown man if have a job and money move out WISE suggetion.