Paranoid ~ or common?

[StrandedTangle]

Hi; This is a question probably more suited to current Newbies; but then everybody was a Newbie once.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who feels completely different to the Point where I feel I don't belong or fit anywhere. Including this Group. I have tried to connect; I've done about a dozen Posts. In one entitled "Can everyone relate to this"; I Posted a Poem called "On The Edge". I see it has 31 views to date and not one response. This leads me to believe that either people don't relate to it or they don't relate to me.

I have checked out other Newbie Posts and they seem to get far more and friendly reactions ~ (no offense intended).

I think it's just me. I don't belong anywhere. And if you feel alone and on the outer in an SA Group, it's pretty disheartening.

What am I doing wrong? I know people will say give it time, but other Newbies seem to have completely different responses.

Perplexed and sad.

Tangled.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Awe..welcome StandedTangle! I never feel like I fit in anywhere and Yep here too...but I do have a few friends here now so that feels good. It takes time and don't forget you prob over think everything like everyone here so no worries, or don't worry so much. Ok?

take care

 

[vj288]

No, it takes a little bit to get comfortable, depending on severity. A lot of people when they first join read other posts and think "woah, that is spot on!" sometimes, while others do not. I didn't connect right way, Always thought I had it way worse than everyone else, that no one really understood what I was going through. After a bit you see that people do. While everybody here has a similar problem, we're all not the same.

 

[Dronee]

I don't fit in here or anywhere else. I'm pretty sure that there are many here who actively dislike me... But I think that kind of feeling is pretty common here.

 

[LIKEASOMBOOOADEEEE]

dont worry i also thought the same i'm sure its rly common here

 

[Mr.Moon]

I've felt that way plenty of times before.
Here for instance, I just stopped coming for about 3 months and suddenly felt like posting around again last week for some reason. Still kinda feel a little awkward to even.

 

[StrandedTangle]

Thank you all so much for your responses and reassurance. It is good to know that I am not just totally paranoid and others feel this way too. That helps me to keep trying and means a lot.

I really appreciate firewalk responding given what you said of your own experience and practice in Posting. You also said; "Forums aren't everyone's best medium, maybe check out the MSN group chat thread. "

I might do that. Chat rooms have never been good for me. It's almost like entering a crowded room, even if it is 'virtual'. I went into the Chat room on this Site on my first day just to check things out. I said HI and got one 'Hi' back and then the conversation between the 4 people seemed to stop entirely. Just like being at a party. I left. No offense intended to those that were there that day. It may well have been a natural lull and me being hypersensitive.

Anyway; thanks again to everyone.

Stranded.

 

[Klaus]

Thank you all so much for your responses and reassurance. It is good to know that I am not just totally paranoid and others feel this way too. That helps me to keep trying and means a lot.

I really appreciate firewalk responding given what you said of your own experience and practice in Posting. You also said; "Forums aren't everyone's best medium, maybe check out the MSN group chat thread. "

I might do that. Chat rooms have never been good for me. It's almost like entering a crowded room, even if it is 'virtual'. I went into the Chat room on this Site on my first day just to check things out. I said HI and got one 'Hi' back and then the conversation between the 4 people seemed to stop entirely. Just like being at a party. I left. No offense intended to those that were there that day. It may well have been a natural lull and me being hypersensitive.

Anyway; thanks again to everyone.

Stranded.

Lol, I'm totally this way too... We care so much about others. They are always more important than us.
That's somehow beautiful isn't it?

 

[sunboy400]

Relax u dont have to be paranoid people are generally friendly on this site so with time they would warm up to you so just relax.

 

[Feathers]

Well, I felt pretty lonely for the first 200 or 500 posts too
And a bit awkward when some people friended me lol, especially if I didn't know them well first... It takes time to get to know people, and for people to get to know you...
I thought 'WOW, some people are really popular here...' (like Pookah or others, and didn't dare to friend them, or such... ) And I didn't dare to post Visitor's messages or send PMs at first...

If you want other people to post at your threads or friend you, it helps to post in other threads and give thoughtful answers - if they don't know what to say, some posts may still remain unanswered... So in that case it's best to seek for information elsewhere...
For poetry, maybe join a poetry club or website, etc.

A lot of new people sometimes come to this website, and it may not be easy to keep track of everyone.. Some only come a few times and then disappear.. It takes time to write a thoughtful answer and it may feel silly if you post one and the person left..
Some threads are also very similar.. There have been topics like this one too
Your best bet is to research and read the site a bit... See what others have written about similar problems.. (You can then resurrect a thread or start a new one..)

Everyone is unique and everyone has a lot to offer... It's important to note other people here may have SA too (even if they seem 'outspoken' online) and may be shy with strangers etc.

 

[Dronee]

Well, I felt pretty lonely for the first 200 or 500 posts too

I've well reached past that point and have been here for almost exactly a year... I still don't feel accepted. But I'm getting used to being looked down upon.

Don't worry OP, it's not something uncommon here... or maybe anywhere else even. I've had a beautiful and seemingly confident colleague confide in me (of all people) her insecurities... and other seemingly happy people do that too from time to time... so even those without SA can feel like they don't belong... or at least that's my experience.

 

[Feathers]

ST, I looked at some of your threads briefly, and you look like someone we all could learn a lot from!!

If you're unique and 'different' it can feel like not knowing where to belong... You may find that you 'belong' into several different groups of people, and while you might not be 'completely understood' everywhere, many people can learn from you.. and you from them..
You can like and appreciate someone even if they're different..

Some people on this forum share your experience of troubled relationships too, some may still be working on things, you can help young'uns with advice what to avoid or watch out for...
There are many young people on this board who could really appreciate wisdom you got from your life experiences... And there are some older people too, who may bring own wisdom and experience.. And some young people are very wise & brave too...
Some have been afraid of weddings too (me too, ha ha!), others may enjoy events and fear different situations.. Some are brave to go and surprisingly find out they had fun anyway!!

Don't worry OP, it's not something uncommon here... or maybe anywhere else even. I've had a beautiful and seemingly confident colleague confide in me (of all people) her insecurities... and other seemingly happy people do that too from time to time... so even those without SA can feel like they don't belong... or at least that's my experience.

Yup, so true... me too.. And I have sometimes felt lonely/misunderstood/not sure what to do too.. (even after the 1.000+ posts, lol!) It's an 'ebb of life' I guess... ups and downs, like the sea..