paranoid about your looks

[r0ck0ut04]

Anybody else get anxious around people because you think theres something wrong with the way you look. I look in the mirror and dont see anything to bad but when I go out I feel people see something I dont. I have had people say im white as hell or skinny but arent there alot of pale skinny people.

 

[crazyfairyx]

*Puts hand up* I'm a skinny pale person lol. I used to have a lot of body issues, I thought I was ugly, too skinny, too pale, my nose was too big, I didn't have big enough breasts, ect ect. I was told I was ugly by the guy I used to date while I was with him and other people told me I was ugly. But then I got with a great guy who told me I was beautiful and when I started thinking maybe I was beautiful people stopped calling me ugly. They had called me ugly because I was vulnerable and I would believe it, if they didn't think I'd believe it they wouldn't bother, they'd just wanted to have a hold over me.

Now, I'm slim yeah, half the population would love to be slim, and I might not be tanned but I have nice skin and not everyone has to be tanned to be attractive. I think I'm pretty most days, but I do have bad days.

Attractiveness is nothing to do with looking like you belong in a fashion magazine, it's accepting yourself and wearing clothes or make up or hair in a way that appeals to you individually, if you're wearing things that don't feel right to you, you won't be comfortable with the way you look.

 

[Quixote]

It probably has more to do with your behaviour, if you are nervous it will usually be perceived by others, and some may think you look "weird" even though you are probably just an average pale skinny guy. By the way, me too

 

[decadeOfSA]

No, not really. I really don't have anxious thoughts that I'm conscious of. I just get in social situations and then have an anxiety attack and then I worry about what people think of me looking nervous, etc.

 

[lonesomeboy]

ye i LOATH my looks. Iam just UGLY, plain and simple. Its got nothing to do with SA or my self-esteem. It is just my physical characteristics which I will never be able to change (unless I try plastic surgery or something). Iam almost constant 24/7 obsessed with how I look and how other people perceive me because of my looks. Most of the time it is negative response and I get in a deep state of depression (mostly just girls ignoring me or not looking at me at all). I see constant images in the media, TV, newspapers of what being 'beautiful' suppose to be, and it just basically reinforces my own believes about myself and how HIDEOUS Iam.

craziefairyx - we've all seen your pic. for anyone to say your unattractive they either have very bad eye sight or no taste.

 

[Richey]

yeh its difficult in this day and age.....particularly when im at the shops and there are dolled up gorgeous people walking around everywhere....everyone has thick dyed hair and are accessorising.....there is alot of pressure to look your best these days....sometimes ive resisted going to the shops because im paranoid about my looks and prejudice..im not ugly but im skinny..and as a guy i want to to also look and feel fit enough to wear any clothes i want..seriosuly whenever a gorgeous girl ever showed interest in me i could never take it seriously because i alway thought "why would she want to talk to me".....i know its the wrong mindset but i was used to it......just try to not compare yourself to others and block it out

 

[Vincent]

Lately,

Ive been doing two opposite things. On one hand, growing a long messy beard and dressing down in clothes that don't make a statement, and are unpretenscious. On the other, working out alot more and improving the look of my figure dramatically.

Both these things make me feel more comfortable and relaxed. But I'd rather design my own clothes except that I don't have the resources or capital now.

Question: Anyone else thinkyou think earth tones are better as they bring more attention to the face and eyes? I think so, because the attention isn't drawn away from natural features. I'm thinking from the Matrix two, and the underground rave... people very natural and celebrating their humanity on the eve of its darkest hour.

 

[savage_beagle]

beauty is an illusion.

There are a lot of average looking people in this world. When you see an ''ugly'' person or an ''attractive'' person, they stand out, only because the majority of people are just average looking. Many of the attractive people you see on tv and magazines are wearing makeup and are airbrushed, to hide imperfections. If in your mind, you believe yourself to be ugly, then you give off perceptions of inferiority and put out the feelings that you are undesirable. More then likely, your parents, neighbours, co-workers, friends and aquaintances are of average looks. Resist the need to compare yourself to others, for you are you. Forget about tv and movie celebrities, as they spend a shitload of money on makeup and plastic surgeries to improve their looks. They exist for one reason, to earn your money. THINK realistically, not everyone is beautiful, not everyone has a perfect life, looks fade..its whats in your heart and what is in your mind. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyways, after a few drinks....everyone seems beautiful. 8O :wink:

 

[dzerklis]

Re: beauty is an illusion.

after a few drinks....everyone seems beautiful. 8O :wink:

when i used to drink, after a few drinks everyone seemed even more scary tom me so i kept drinking more until passed out.

 

[Waybuloo]

Re: beauty is an illusion.

There are a lot of average looking people in this world. When you see an ''ugly'' person or an ''attractive'' person, they stand out, only because the majority of people are just average looking. Many of the attractive people you see on tv and magazines are wearing makeup and are airbrushed, to hide imperfections. If in your mind, you believe yourself to be ugly, then you give off perceptions of inferiority and put out the feelings that you are undesirable. More then likely, your parents, neighbours, co-workers, friends and aquaintances are of average looks. Resist the need to compare yourself to others, for you are you. Forget about tv and movie celebrities, as they spend a shitload of money on makeup and plastic surgeries to improve their looks. They exist for one reason, to earn your money. THINK realistically, not everyone is beautiful, not everyone has a perfect life, looks fade..its whats in your heart and what is in your mind. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyways, after a few drinks....everyone seems beautiful. 8O :wink:

That's a good post.

I know a guy who is not a looker to say the least, but he's real personable and confident, and he is very involved in activities and stuff, making friends real easy. So i think it's all about attitude, how you treat people, your inner confidence, that matters. But then if you've got beauty then that's something else that works to your advantage, as long as you don't abuse it and regard everyone else as substandard.

 

[styrka]

I agree with crazyfairyx.... I have seen physically ugly people, but they are confident and because of that, they are surrounded by people. is not about how you look but how you feel (unless you're horrible ugly like the hunchback of notredame or something like that). I've seen ugly people that I've wondered what's so special about them or why they manage to have friends, or why people get close to them and not me (not that I think I'm beautiful at all but I don't think I'm damn ugly either). the answer is THEY HAVE CONFIDENCE, and people perceive that somehow. usually people are attracted to people who are confident. if you have accepted your body, and you love yourself even if you're pale skinny or fat or have too many love handles, or big teeth, big ears, etc.... if you love yourself and don't give a damn about what people think about you, people will sense your confidence and wont make fun of you.
I'll give you an example..... mick jagger. he's an ugly pale very skinny guy but he has (or appears to have) the confidence of a hundred men and because of that he became a huge rock star and girls even think he's sexy and probably throw panties at him and stuff like that......
I think if he didn't have confidence he would have never been a rock star. even if he had a good voice he would just be an ackward, shy, ugly, skinny, pale guy that nobody cares about. just think about it, even if you have a beautiful voice, but if you don't have confidence and are scared and shy, your voice can sound shaky and weird. I believe confidence is the secret. of course all of us in this website have HUGE confidence issues. so there it is.

 

[Higolo]

I agree with crazyfairyx.... I have seen physically ugly people, but they are confident and because of that, they are surrounded by people. is not about how you look but how you feel (unless you're horrible ugly like the hunchback of notredame or something like that). I've seen ugly people that I've wondered what's so special about them or why they manage to have friends, or why people get close to them and not me (not that I think I'm beautiful at all but I don't think I'm damn ugly either). the answer is THEY HAVE CONFIDENCE, and people perceive that somehow. usually people are attracted to people who are confident. if you have accepted your body, and you love yourself even if you're pale skinny or fat or have too many love handles, or big teeth, big ears, etc.... if you love yourself and don't give a damn about what people think about you, people will sense your confidence and wont make fun of you.
I'll give you an example..... mick jagger. he's an ugly pale very skinny guy but he has (or appears to have) the confidence of a hundred men and because of that he became a huge rock star and girls even think he's sexy and probably throw panties at him and stuff like that......
I think if he didn't have confidence he would have never been a rock star. even if he had a good voice he would just be an ackward, shy, ugly, skinny, pale guy that nobody cares about. just think about it, even if you have a beautiful voice, but if you don't have confidence and are scared and shy, your voice can sound shaky and weird. I believe confidence is the secret. of course all of us in this website have HUGE confidence issues. so there it is.

Hey hey hey, some women think big ears show masculinity :wink:

 

[styrka]

hey higolo!
I don't have anything against big ears...... I just picked a body part at random....

 

[styrka]

hey higolo!
I don't have anything against big ears...... I just picked a body part at random....

 

[xkiss_me_nowx]

im very self consious about my looks.. everyone says im pretty but i just dont see it!
my mum always says to me 'becky, you must be seeing something different to everyone else!' but i think i am, cos i just sometimes cant see whats so pretty about me.
and ill admit, sometimes i do think 'well im not that ugly i suppose' but then it just creeps over me on other days and yeah.. i think im ugly. and i feel really self consious sometimes. i hate it.

but i do know im not the uglyiest girl in the world.. but i know im not the prettiest.. but sometimes i just really cant see why people think im 'gorgeous, pretty, cute' etc etc. :roll:

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

yep, I'm pale but not that skinny...but I know people look at me weird/think I look weird.

 

[tehStranger]

you have nothing to worry about, missScares...because i said so.

 

[Rag0r]

Anybody else get anxious around people because you think theres something wrong with the way you look. I look in the mirror and dont see anything to bad but when I go out I feel people see something I dont. I have had people say im white as hell or skinny but arent there alot of pale skinny people.

Yeah they're called Irish folk...LOL. I have it too man, when I eat in public I can't get over the thought that people are staring at me I just think I have like spaghetti sauce all over my face, and people can't stop giving me the pick up a napkin and wipe your face look.

 

[Emma]

I'm extremely paranoid about how I look, everyone says how ugly I am, except my Mum....but I guess she says that because I'm her daughter.
I always have people looking at me like they are sorry for me for being so ugly, I have pale skin and my lips are always blue like I'm cold, and my hands and feet are sooo purple coloured for some reason, I have an exaggerated kyphosis, which means I'm hunched over, people say I'm weird because I have red hair, and I always get told I'm anorexic because I'm supposedly so skinny, I hate it when beautiful people complain about how ugly they are, why can't they be grateful, I would love to look different