Overcoming the root of my problem


Well-known member
The way SA effects me is by convincing me everyone is judging/thinking negativily about. I'd fear that will happen and I'll be made a fool of. Because of this I avoid people who might know me/local events/local bars.
There's a show coming up this weekend in my village. I've decided that no matter how uncomfy I'm feeling on the day I'll be going. If I can get over the massive fear of Embarrassment it will be a huge step in the right direction.

Has anybody had any similar experiences and what was the outcome?

Even words of encouragement would be great :). No doubt my head will kick in and try and talk me outta it. I've just gotta either be strong or drunk enough not to listen. Why does it sound so simple but seems so difficult?
Good stuff man thats what i like to hear mate, it shows that you are willing to make the effort to change no matter how the situation is you havee to face so thats always a good encouraging sign to see people know what the gotta do to overcome there problem. I used to have that problem too and thats what the definition of SA is a fear of being judged negativily.

I think you should have alook at the thread i posted with audiobooks there is one there called "Careless What Others Think" its good it help me alot cause i was always so freaked that people i saw were thinking bad thoughts about me, listen to that audiobook on your ipod or mp3 each night till the show on the weekend and see if it helps, I'm over it now man and i tell ya what it feels great not caring what people think :)


Well-known member
There's a show coming up this weekend in my village. I've decided that no matter how uncomfy I'm feeling on the day I'll be going. If I can get over the massive fear of Embarrassment it will be a huge step in the right direction.

i live in a village too and i went to a show 5 days ago.Before going there i was thinking that -since is a small place and everyone knows each other- i 'll have to say hi to everyone and they 'll start asking me questions and staff and i'll get nervous and panic.And i'll start walking funny:eek: But it was nothing like i had imagined it in my head.I mean i laugh at my thoughts many times.The scenarios that play in the head are so unrealistic
.So it was worth going.The feeling of 'success' afterwards is worth it

Blackkids you should go for it!!You 're gonna see the difference beetween the things you imagine and the things that actually happen!!Good luck and write to tell what happened(i am a curious person)

p.s you shouldn get too drunk:D
another thing that helps is realizing that what you have is anticipatory anxiety. ie your mind is projecting all these outcomes into the future, and worrying about them. you need to pull your mind back into the present moment. what are your eyes seeing? what is your body feeling? what are your ears hearing?

try to keep that awareness in focus, instead of thinking about the future, and it's easier to get out and do things. and just carry that awareness with you into the situation, and it's a lot more comfortable, and easier to have better interactions with people.

good luck, guy!

Neil Young

If you go, whatever happens, you are gonna feel good for seeing through a tough situation.
If you hide, later you are going to curse yourself for it again and again.
Your choice.


Well-known member
Yes I know I have anticipatory anxiety. Its strange as I was at another show last weekend and I was perfectly fine. I didn't put any thought into what could happen.
The audiobook seems very helpful redzer. I listened today and felt relaxed lol. How long did it take you to recover and did you listen to all the audiobooks?

I'm definitely going. I'm basically just going so I can have the feeling of success afterwards :)


Well-known member
I agree with Punk. The more you think the worse it'll get. Just do. Overthinking got me into the predicament I'm in.
A few people said it about overthinking and coming up with totally mad thoughts about what might happen, Now that in itself is one of the worst things you can do because your already not confident about the situation as it is and by thinking these negitive thoughts your just renforcing how uncomfotable it is to be in so in a way you have just already made yourself even more unconfident and uncomfortable then when you go to the place or thing it is you gotta do you will have no confidence at all purley just by thinking what if this happens or what if this person says something to me or what if i see someone i dont know well and we have to talk etc.

So yeah for me it was about 2 months for me i'd say, now it might take you longer or shorther depending on how bad your SA is and your current mind set and your willingness to overcome it. I used a few different audiobooks i swapped back and forth between careless what other think & self esteem boosters those two worked great for me because in a sense there working with each other because ur feeling better about yourself and as your self esteem gets higher it gets eaiser to careelss what others think ya know what i mean? so yeah i highly recommend these books be used by everyone on the site there free and at the same time before it begins you get nice and relaxed to help you sleep better.

Keep me posted mate on how your gettin on :D
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I think the perception of other people thinking negatively about you is the root cause of alot of peoples SA. Most of the time people probable aint thinking what you believe but then it makes u act strangely so it is sort of a self fullfilling prophercy. thinking people are thinking negative things about me is my problem but it is just so difficult to stop doing it. One thing i do try which might help is to really concentrate on what the person is saying or something else to block out the negative thoughts.


Well-known member
Turns out that I over thought way too much and ended up not going. I feel like shit and am properly going to throw up. The fact that I would of had to go on my own was too much.
I was sure I'd got over this but here i am feeling properly worse than I have in months.
I guess I excepted too much and wasn't able to handle it. Damn I'm pathetic :mad:::(::confused: