Other problems aside from Social Anxiety etc.

[Richey]

Alright so this is really a thread to vent things that are going on at the moment that seem to be well to make it heavy! sort of ruining my life by my own actions

I'm in the second year of a diploma course, so its not even a degree but its very challenging. The course is programming and i've spent all year trying very hard to study and complete but there are alot of aspects of the subject to absorb so it can be quite complex and sometimes i'm slower when it comes to understanding certain concepts other times i get it straight away!!
I think i'm going to fail the course but only just. one subject i know i i'd be lucky to pass because ive focussed on the others too much and i just failed the exam by two marks.

i know that because of this my dad is going to throw me out of the house because he threatended me that if i failed that is what would happen, with my part time job this would not cover renting and i'm applying for graduate jobs at the same time.

to me this is simply a case of not organising myself properly during the year and focussing too much on certain subjects.

i really feel like this is the end for me considerring i'm 25 and the prospect of repeating classes. i'll defnitely keep trying. i wont give up but this has happened before when i studied a course and i struggled in certain areas but excelled in others. part of this dillema is low self-esteem especially with complex assignments, the reason i sometimes delay starting homework is because i think i'm not yet skilled enough to even kick things off. which isnt always true, its just an attitude issue.

i also noticed that most of the people in my class simply get it!(meaning the content) every single time. its like during the testing stage, they'd never been taught this but overnight a couple of them had created a program. They pick everything up so quickly. where as i feel that i need to constantly read and re-read before it sinks in during the times where the content feel like information overload. a teacher will instruct and talk for a few hours and i take notes but sometimes i have to absorb myself and i'f i'm in a negative mood my attention span wonders off and i dont retain the concepts very well. other times i do.

so problems like money, relationships, not passing subjects, threatened to be thrown out at the worst time. its alot of pressure to succeed and its sort of overtaken social anxiety. at the moment i couldnt care less who i talk to or who i dont talk to because lifes pressures are outweighing everything else so much.

i look at my sister and as soon as she left high school she studied her diploma, passed it well and was offered a graduate job straight away and she flourished in her career from there onwards.

i feel like the next few months i'll either get lucky somehow and i'll stay afloat or i could be homeless with little resources or visa versa. i'll probably find a place to stay but it all feels a little hairy.

 

[Kat]

That sounds almost like me except I am not going to uni or doing a diploma yet because I was worried I will have the same issues you are having because I had them whilst going to school. I wouldn’t apply myself at school because I didn’t think I would achieve and was scared if I tried I would fail, which would be more embarrassing to try and fail then not to try at all. It’s a vicious cycle really you don’t try because a low self esteem but not trying doesn’t give you a chance to build your confidence. My lack of intellectual refinement has definitely not helped my SP. I’m wanting to go to uni but because I missed out on a lot of education, I don’t feel I am up to scratch to do it. So, I am taking some courses trying to prepare if I ever find the will to go to uni. I feel like I am learning things now that I should have known years ago. I left school in year ten but prior to that missed a lot of school. I have heard stories about people who didn’t do so well at school but still did good at uni but don’t believe I can really achieve that.

Sorry, about making this about me. It may be best if you cut down on how many subjects you do per-semester and bring a tape recorder into the class rooms so you can go back later and listen to what’s been said. It’s great that you’re doing a diploma and juggling a part time job, you also have a full time job if you have SP. A lot a people that don’t have SP don’t realize the strain of it.

 

[flakeybark]

I consider myself a slow learner as well but part of that is to do with perfectionism. I get overwhelmed quite easily and the moment I start struggling with something I panic and just want to stop trying. Most of the time I can push myself through (with a lot of pain) but sometimes I just drop things altogether because I figure I've no hope in hell. Its frustrating watching other students fly through assignments and learning new concepts as if it were nothing.

My mom told me when she was in school and she made a mistake in one of her work books she'd throw the book out and get a new one and start again. This pretty much sums up my work habits. If something isn't perfect I want to set fire to it because it just makes me crazy.