ok this shldnt have triggered my S/A...

[Section_31]

So this afternoon i get a call to go to another section of my building because part of the network went down there, apparently umpteen users arent able to connect and their manager is panicking.

SO whatever, grab my stuff and head over.

As ive said before, im almost always more comfortable talking with women IRL than men. This area is full of women around my age who have actually started to see a bit of the real me the last couple yrs. They all know im married, were jsut good work friends. I get along well with everyone.

So anyhoo, im in their section,and i come into their cubicle, and 4 of them do that girl thing, where the guy walks into the room and they all automatically stop talking and look at you, one of them chuckles a little bit. I could so tell they had just been talking aboutme.

So we say the usual friendly helloes, one of them says they need saving, their internet is broken. Everyone laughs, good hearted stuff like that is part of where i work.

So theyre making small talk with me, as I have my back to them and i pull open the network panel in the wall to try to find the switch thats decided to blow its crap up. Im feeling self conscious because i can feel them looking at me, and im blushing and sweating a little bit because i cant see them. I also have a hard time multitasking, so im trying to focus on what im doing AND carry over a convo because i dont want to be rude, and is hard for me to do both.

So i ask them, what were you guys talking about?

silence

And i go common! you can tell me!

One of them goes: well, marriage material in guys actually....

So of course i mentally froze, because i just felt this was corresponding to me somehow.

me: umm..okay?. So what? is somebody trying to get married here?.

"well, yea. Most of the women up here think your good marriage material, 1, you already have another girls stamp of approval, 2, you dont drink or smoke, 3, yuor always there when a friend needs you, and 4 you can fix the broken internet!"

ok, i KNOW this was a compliment, they were trying to be nice, but i blushed pretty good and i coul feel myself sweating. I bit my tongue, hard, to distract myself from the feeling and breathed deep, managed to get thats stupid network switch working, tried to play it off like i was totally fine, and got out of there.

Ok, WHY this spurred this kind of reaction from me i have no idea, but it sure got my anxiety up. I know i should maybe feel flattered or somthing, but really i just felt so so SO shy...

Most of them know about my S/A to a degree and dont make a big deal out of things, in fact one of them came to me quietly in my office and said hey, im sorry, i hope we didnt make you uncomfortable....

Again, playing it off, i said no, i was fine.......in reality i just wanted her to GTFO so i could be alone for a little while and collect myself...

Anyone else have problems dealing with compliments?

 

[MikeyC]

That's a very good compliment, and probably not too far off the mark either, but I think it caught you unawares and you didn't have the time or energy to deal with that as you were trying to fix the network problem. If you were a little less busy I think it would've been more flattering. Anyway, that's one hell of a compliment and you should feel quite happy about that.

I have a hard time dealing with compliments, too. I've been told I'm good boyfriend material and that I'm nice and sweet and caring, etc., but, much like you, I tend to just brush it off, like, "no, I'm not, haha." Compliments do make me a little uncomfortable but I think it's because I'm not used to getting them and I don't feel I deserve them. I have to learn to take compliments at face value and just accept them.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, that's a major level compliment, so maybe that had something to do with it. The fact that they were doing it behind your back and you were suspicious about it already may have fanned the flames. Well, try to recompose yourself, okay?

As for the other question, yes, I have a problem with accepting compliments, although not in the form you have. When a person compliments me, I don't believe it and then I go on to insult or otherwise put myself down. For example, recently, my friend tried to get me to call myself a "man" and I literally couldn't call myself that, my voice stopped before the "man" part, and then I went on to list the failures of my life and how unaccomplished I am. I can't believe any compliment anyone gives me, because I just don't see how there can be anything good about me. Isn't it not fun when Deadman whines? I'll stop now, don't worry.

 

[coyote]

it took me a long time to realize what all the staring and smiling and touching meant

 

[ThatOneShyKid]

You might not be used to people complimenting you out of the blue. I know that I'm not because I rarely ever hear compliments from anyone other then my parents or teachers. If it would be from one of my peers of friends, I would feel awkward too. I think that it was nice they complimented you and that she apologized if you felt uncomfortable about what happened. Your views on them might have been different if they didn't apologize to you.

 

[Section_31]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

Yea, i thought it was nice of her to apologize. They know how i can be. I feel better now that its the weekend and i dont have to go back for 2 more days

I hope ill get better with compliments like that