OCD hater

[Natey1112]

hey, name is Nate, and i think i have OCD.

for most of my life, (18 now) i always have had one worry or fear, that i had TO CONCENTRATE ON...

here are some examples

one night... i couldn't fall asleep.. so from that night forth, i worried i couldn't fall asleep, even though i knew i could... and i could NOT drop the anxiety or worry until something new came up... and it did

one day, in late july, i got sick... and from then on, i worried every single day about puking... and i couldn't drop the fear until... something new came up.. and it did

one day, i was over my friends house, and he's a big knife fan... and he showed me this HUGE knife, and he let me hold it... and i had the thought "what if i stabbed him" that set off a MILLION alarms in my head, and then from there until now, i have worried i might hurt a loved one or a friend... i DONT want to.... hence the complete terror when the intrusive thought pops in my head... i have done my research.., i spend about 6 - 10 hours a day ruminating about how i could do it, and how scared i am, i asked myself the what if questions... and so on... i hate this... if i go into a spike i have to leave everything, and hide... i dont want to do anything bad, but i fear i will.... what do i do?

EDIT: i also have outside compulsions, like, if i dont get to bed by a certian time, i cannot sleep, because of the anxiety.. when i feel flustered, i NEED to do research, and try to figure out if i'm going crazy, i am scared of getting sick, so i use Hand Sanitizer like you drink water.. everything i touch i picture the germs... i dont like to touch doors... but it wont cause me anxiety... i just need to wash my hands every so often (once every hour or so)

HELP ME

 

[Helyna]

Definitely OCD.
Can you get a doctor? If not, at least get some books on how to stop OCD.
You don't have to do the compulsions. Sure, it will make you more anxious at first, but in the long run, it'll make you feel better. When a bad thought comes into your mind, tell yourself that your mind is just doing its job in warning you about something possibly dangerous, and you've listened to the warning, so you don't need to keep thinking about it. Those things probalby won't be much help, but they're a start.

 

[Natey1112]

Definitely OCD.
Can you get a doctor? If not, at least get some books on how to stop OCD.
You don't have to do the compulsions. Sure, it will make you more anxious at first, but in the long run, it'll make you feel better. When a bad thought comes into your mind, tell yourself that your mind is just doing its job in warning you about something possibly dangerous, and you've listened to the warning, so you don't need to keep thinking about it. Those things probalby won't be much help, but they're a start.

yep, i've developed a tactic, where the thought pops, and then i mentally scream 'it's my OCD" and it seems to ward it away

 

[Natey1112]

i don;t know, what does everyone else think?

 

[Natey1112]

I'm sorry I can't give you my advice on this mate. I just hope you'll manage to sort it. The best of luck with it!

hopefully it works out... the thoughts and then the feeling of being sick, even though the anxiety is taking it's toll on my physical being...

 

[Natey1112]

Yeah Natey you have OCD. I have the same type thoughts and they are very difficult to deal with. For me i have noticed that they decrease in intensity after a period of time (like all my other obsessions) before eventually going away all together. Its just Violent and Sexual intrusive thoughts are by far the toughest i have ever had to deal with. I think they have finally ran their course on me as i feel somewhat normal right now, a new one should come up at any time, lmao.

yep, for the last 10 or so years of my life, it's been like that, worry, until it either wears out, (years) or something else pops up

it was sleeping... then throwing up....now killing people... I HATE OCD

 

[Natey1112]

just posting an update, the killing thing is done... now i'm freaking about the "fear i wont fall asleep" any recommendation on how to fall asleep quickly?

 

[DebbieDowner]

i feel a lot of the same things...I feel like I'm starting to develop OCD as a way to try to control my SA.

I have major anxiety about going to sleep/falling asleep. If i lay down before I'm completely exhausted, every horrible thought/fear/issue suddenly bombards me.

Meditation helped me get rid of sleep anxiety in the past...I wish I could make myself try again, just too depressed these days. If you're interested, I recommend mahayana buddhist meditation - there's science behind why sitting in that position allows you to clear your head and stay relaxed even afterward. (p.s. "new age" meditation is a completely different thing.) Come to think of it, the best I've ever felt in my life was when I meditated everyday...

That and certain teas (passion flower, kava kava, valerian root) but sometimes they make me to fall asleep easily and then an hour later I'm wide awake again. And then there's always the old "night cap" routine, which I used to be a big fan of, but I don't recommend it since drinking to fall asleep will only create a new problem lol Good luck Natey

 

[Natey1112]

Well, like, here is an example...

right now i have a stomach ache.. nothing major... just the typical stomach thing.. now i realize this...but now, for a week, i will continue to NOT get thjis out of my head, and for the next week, or longer, i will worry, say if i get a headache... the same thing...

 

[Natey1112]

How do i solve this? i cannot take it anymore.... someone please help.. i fell like i am losing the gasp on my sanity

 

[Helyna]

* Realize what OCD is. It's natural for you to worry about things, to check that you didn't do something bad. Obsessions are those thoughts gone out of control. So accept the usefulness of them and then tell yourself you understand and don't need to hear it again. Keep calm.
* Resist compulsions, including compulsive thoughts. Distract yourself with something. You are strong enough.
* Realize you are not going to go crazy from OCD. A lot of people who have it feel that way, but this is just normal anxiety going a bit out of control, not insanity. Like with no. 1, calm down about having the disorder.
* Hang around the OCD forum and read other posts. Get books. You are not alone.
* Go to a doctor. OCD is fairly well understood in the medical community (though definitely not in the community at large...) We can't really help you with sleeping (though some mind-numbing task equivalent to counting sheep would help) but a doctor can.

 

[Natey1112]

Yeah, that works.... thanks..

 

[206Raider]

Yeah Natey you have OCD. I have the same type thoughts and they are very difficult to deal with. For me i have noticed that they decrease in intensity after a period of time (like all my other obsessions) before eventually going away all together. Its just Violent and Sexual intrusive thoughts are by far the toughest i have ever had to deal with. I think they have finally ran their course on me as i feel somewhat normal right now, a new one should come up at any time, lmao.

Ahh yeah I dealt with the same thing, I had all some OCD thoughts and obsessions and eventually they ran their course and I feel fine. Actually none of that has came back in like over a year, except for small things every now and then but at the time I thought I was going crazy. Hopefully you get over yours..

Oh and don't try to fight it all, that's what I figured out. Just let them be and run their course and know that it's just your OCD.

 

[Natey1112]

OMG, I read that thread about SA causing Hallucinations... and now i am terrified that i might develop that.....i need help i think... i really think i am going insane.... please .... wtf do i do... my parents don't believe me... and i dont have the resources for a therapist...

what are my options?

 

[Natey1112]

So, now that i am now worried i might have Schizophrenia (even though i ovb. dont, i dont have any thing like that. no delusions, nothing)

how would i be able to overcome this OCD? i really do not like living my life this way, i cannot seem to "think" my way out of it, is there another way?

 

[Helyna]

So, now that i am now worried i might have Schizophrenia (even though i ovb. dont, i dont have any thing like that. no delusions, nothing)

Not you, too! *facepalm* I've read too many "do I have schizophrenia?" posts.
Here's some news: anxiety disorders are far more common than schizophrenia. You do not have schizophrenia, you have OCD. You're not going insane. That's what OCD makes you think.

What do your parents think? that you're making this up? Have you given them stuff explaining what OCD is?

 

[Natey1112]

Not you, too! *facepalm* I've read too many "do I have schizophrenia?" posts.
Here's some news: anxiety disorders are far more common than schizophrenia. You do not have schizophrenia, you have OCD. You're not going insane. That's what OCD makes you think.

What do your parents think? that you're making this up? Have you given them stuff explaining what OCD is?

i have explained it, they seem to think, "i'll grow out of them" i want help, but i also don't want to have to depend on drugs to feel better

 

[Helyna]

i have explained it, they seem to think, "i'll grow out of them" i want help, but i also don't want to have to depend on drugs to feel better

I mean, have you gotten official documents off the internet? Look up studies. There should be studies about how to best help someone get over this. That should show that you need help, and it would be from scientists!

 

[Natey1112]

i know, i just dont want to start taking drugs.... i mean, i wish there was some "non medicated" route i could take


example, we we're just watching a movie on the guy who killed John Lennon, and i saw... he seemed completely normal, and i thought "what if" and had a really severe panic attack, i saw myself, and i got really scared... i wish this was just over..

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I had a similair situation happen to me 6yrs ago, I thought what if I could kill him (my boyfriend who is now my best friend)...sent me into a nervous breakdown that lasted for over a month...shaky legs, butterflies in the stomach, had diarreha, felt freezing cold all the time, thought cops were out to get me.
See a psychologist right away..dont suffer like I did. It took me a bit to beat OCD thoughts, but then I developed other problems. One thing after another...