not sure why im writing this maybe just to vent a little

[lonely_drummer]

Well I got the all dreaded letter today informing me that I'm kicked out of school. I guess my fear of collaborating information and conversing with lab partners has finally caught up with me. I began to fear going to classes in general, I was afraid to be seen, I just wanted to be invisible. I threw myself into a drama filled residence on the other side of the country, far from my close friends. I was sick and tired of being here, I was sick and tired of having so much anxiety all the time. There were too many bad memories that haunted me almost daily. I thought that making a huge change would force me to be adaptable, maybe force myself to break out of my socially awkward habits, however it just made things worse. Now that Im back home its been nice to be around my close friends, who are my bandmates. They're good people, we play awesome music which is when my anxiety is usually at a minimum. When Im not in school during the summers we play all the time and can make enough money to earn a living. I guess I just gotta keep my mind on other things and give music a try, follow another dream for a while but everything would be best if I wasn't so odd. Sorry for the wasted time you've probably spent reading my mind. To those who have made it this far, I hope you have a pleasant evening

 

[Nightbird]

Thanks for venting, lonely. I'm going through the same kind of thing. I uprooted my life to go back to school and I didn't even last a month. The pairing up and group work made me dread going to classes. I feel like such a freak. Everywhere I see people connecting with others so seemingly effortlessly but it just feels so awkward and unnatural when I try to do so.

 

[DeathMetal]

I was actually able to make it through high school somehow, but haven't gone through college yet because of my SA. I tried going to a technical college years ago, but ended up not going to classes and just wasting my money. So now I am 31 and going nowhere fast.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do lonely drummer, hope the music thing works out for you.

 

[Fighter86]

Its good to hear you are making music with your time, I was in a somewhat similar situation as yours, except I withdrew from 3 different schools 3 times because I couldn't cope with the SA aspects of school, and pretty much did nothing for years after, I wasted all that time when I could have done something, anything, so I'm glad you are doing something you love despite being out of school.

 

[Dronee]

Sorry to hear that man... It's cliche, but it's true. When one door closes, another one opens. Or at least that was my experience. Of course, the open door isn't really that open and I'm now searching for a crowbar to force it open... Hmmm... But maybe for you, you'll really do well since you already have some talents.