Not speaking loud enough

[Depression4life]

Hi I'm new here & I got an issue I've always wanted to discuss as it's been an issue for a looong time

First I'll introduce myself I suffer from Social Anxiety/Severe Depression/GAD. Add to that I'm introvert & really shy & socially ackward

So my issue is whenever I speak to people/strangers or anyone I don't seem to speak loud enough for them to hear/understand me, so they either ignore me or they ask me to speak louder or to repeat again it's frustrating

The thing is I think I speak loud enough on a normal tone but apparently other people think I don't speak loud enough.

The meds I take for my depression & anxiety make me feel chilled out/relaxed/calmer & easy going which makes me happy but for example when I speak to some stranger/girl at a bar & she doesn't hear me, I then have to talk way louder which then makes me uptight & less calmer/relaxed.

Sometimes I feel I can't speak loud enough for people to hear me & it sucks cause girls always say they like a confident man but I'm one of those guys who mumbles or speaks in a low tone voice so that makes it harder for me to talk to girls & makes me look like I'm unconfident & that I can't chat up girls
but it's due to my weak voice.

When I used to live alone in my apartment I used to put the music/tv loud & talk loud to practise speaking loud. Even in my car I used to put the music loud & speak loud to practice. The issue though is that my neighbours/my parents sometimes would hear "me speaking to myself" then they'd think I hear voices or that I'm crazy when really that wasn't true. So I stopped "talking loud" whilst at home even after explaining to them that the reason I was talking loud was not cause I was "crazy" & that I was hearing "voices" but because it was to practise speaking loud as I don't speak loud enough in social situations but they don't understand so :idontknow:

At drive thrus & other places it's hard cause most of the time they don't hear/understand me :sad:

So does anyone else have the same issue?? If so what did you do to help you overcome this problem??

I know it's long but thanks for reading

 

[Avatar]

Next time you speak to someone,and they ask you to repeat yourself,take out your megaphone and ask them"Can you hear me now"?

 

[anomicdeer]

Maybe you'll get better.

I've always dealt with this and although I think I've gotten better with my volume (and confidence in speaking), there are still times that I know I'm speaking too low for people. Some people also mention that I have a soft voice. I don't know if that means I talk too low or they can hear the shyness in my voice...

 

[Deco]

Have you ever considered consulting with a speech therapist/Speech-language pathologist (SLP)? They can diagnose and treat any speech or hearing conditions.

 

[Marc7]

I deal with this all the time as I have a slow and monotonous voice so it's even worse :sad:

 

[Xervello]

I'd think it has more to do with the confidence in your body language. A technique that some gifted public speakers use in certain settings is to soften their voice almost to a whisper so that the people they're speaking to lean in and make a concerted effort to listen. Whereas someone with a normal speaking voice, the listeners might sit back, relax and occasionally tune out. But if a person gives off a timid or standoffish body language, a low voice will often go ignored or not permit the same respect given by the listener.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

Sometimes I also wonder if my soft voice is brought up by my anxiety or because I really have a weak vocal cords or something.

You see, I went to karaoke with my family and this machine detects the person's voice and gives the score at the end of every song. I was holding my mic right in front of my mouth and my parents and sister say they can totally hear my voice.... and yet when the song ended, the machine didn't detect my voice at all!!! Not even a 1% score or an error message... it's like nobody sang at all.

I did it the second time and it happened again. They said my voice is audible but it seems to blend with the song.... I dunno... maybe I have an airy voice or something.
Seriously, I wasn't whispering at all.

So yeah.... that was a mystery to me.

 

[Opaline]

I don't have a soft voice so much as a "small" voice if that makes sense, so people are always asking me to repeat myself (really annoying). I don't think it's because of my anxiety, though. I think the only thing you can do is just... speak louder? I mean... what else can you really do? If speaking more loudly makes you anxious then you'll have to deal with that, and the best thing is supposed to be CBT...

 

[Xervello]

I should also mention that I mumble when I speak. Kinda like Joaquin Phoenix in Her. Often I've been told to repeat myself. So I always make it a point, especially in public, to enunciate my words clearly. Make sure to speak the g's at the end of a word, complete prepositions (saying 'to' rather than 'tuh'), and so forth. Small things like that might help amplify the voice.

 

[Mion]

I think you should go on with practicing your voice, even though your parents think your are "crazy", maybe you could talk to them again and point out the importance of these voice exercises for you. Maybe you could recite poems or read out loud books, so your parents dont worry.
As Deco i also can reccomend consulting a speech therapist, but if you dont want to go that far already, i can reccomend taking singing lessons. No matter if you like to sing or if you think you are good at it, it will help you to get to know you own voice and how to use it.
Dont worry too much about the girls A lot of girls I know rather date someone who is shy, than someone who is TOO confident and tells them the whole night about all the great stuff he has done.
If you in a bar or at any other loud place with a girl you like, maybe you just could ask her to go outside for a while (to smoke or just get some fresh air, whatever) where its more silent and she has no problems to understand you.

 

[theoutsider]

It's funny. When I speak, I pretty much plan on having to repeat what I'm saying even as the words are coming out of my mouth. That's how accustomed I have become to people asking me what I just said.