Not having anything to do really...

[xSleepy]

i dont have anything to do. im unhappy where i live, i feel very awkward and uncomfortable here. i try to do my best though. im very lonely and depressed a lot. i dont have any friends, the few internet friends i had all seem to be fading away. my bf lives in another state then me, which is very difficult. its hard to be the non busy person in the relationship.

i cant even try to keep myself busy. when im depressed i just cant do anything. i cant even sleep i hate sleeping. i lay in bed alone, fall asleep alone, wake up alone. and the i literally just sit here all day. hoping someone will talk to me. its summer now and its very hot. i cant do anything even if i wanted to. i cant go outside anymore. i get horrible migranes being out in the sun. its hot inside the house. i wish i had something to do

 

[Richey]

Regarding activities if you're feeling in a rut, what helped me was to understand my interests and how i could tie that into hobbies or ways of going out and partaking in that world. after i left my job i was the same and stayed inside for six months unless i needed to or was forced to go out. because i rented in a shared house it was easy to just stay idle.

i found out that our local basketball stadium was open all the time so if i had spare time i would walk down and practice on a spare court for an hour(often people watch you), then i signed up to a team and now i play once a week. its great exposure but its not always smooth sailing when it comes to making friends, thats still something im struggling with but i'm now in the frey of a team and im around other people so i can pick up ideas, and everyone is super nice, so thats what you will also find once you start to participate more, people just want to have fun while being happy.

my next goal is to sign up for guitar lessons again so i can form a band that likes similar music to me, but now i know its VERY possible because of the basketball experience i've had.

its all about exposure! and the only time its painful is taking the first steps inside an uncomfortable situation that is holding you back, so just say walking into a skate park is uncomfortable because all the trendy kids hang out there and its a little intimidating, its usually the first and second time you walk in that it feels daunting and thats only because you are focussed on whether others are staring at you and they must be judging you which isnt true, so you need to shift your focus onto something seperate and more positive ....

exposure is the same as CBT really, but its the most helpful method of living your own life to the fullest.

so all you need to do is write a list of your goals for intended hobbies and activities and simply Do It! and perhaps write a review of your experience and do it again and again until you reach a happy medium of exposure where you are comofortable enough not to hesitate in doing them again and again

 

[PhantomPod]

I get like that sometimes. But lately I have really been trying to get into activities that will really put me out there, whereas before (and a lot of times now) I just sit home by myself doing nothing. When I'm by myself I am actually fine for the majority of the time. It is only those small amount of times where I get feelings of lonliness, which are unbearable.

But I signed up for golf lessons and I just took them five Wednesday nights in a row and they went great. My mom actually took them with me, so it was a bit easier having someone to go with, even though we weren't always together during the lessons. We have also signed up for another set of golf lessons that will be starting in a week. I didn't talk to people too much, honestly, but I still felt like I was putting myself out there. Also, most of the people were older than me. They were my mom's age, whereas I'm 22 and I would ideally like to meet people around my age. Also, people I work with talk about golf a lot, so one time I actually got up the courage to mention to them, "oh, I'm actually taking a beginner golf lesson right now. I really like it" and they asked if I want to go to the driving range some day with them, during our lunch break! So that should be interesting and good for me.

I would suggest just choosing an activity you are interested in and then just signing up for some lessons. I suppose the only real way to get over it is to just bite the bullet and put yourself out there, no matter how painfully anxious you get and how uncomfortable you feel. Once you put yourself out there and figure "hmm, that wasn't too too bad" you're more likely to just keep putting yourself out there and doing more things to get to feeling a bit more comfortable in social situations.

Personally, I'm going to call up tomorrow about piano lessons. I have wanted to take piano lessons for years now, but was just too lazy and nervous. But now I have decided that it is something I really want to do, so I'm just gonna sign up for some lessons.