New to the forum, wondering if this is OCD

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LockieKermit

Well-known member
well, I am about 90% sure I have OCD.

When I was younger at about the age of 4-5 I would repeat words so when I was talking to my mum I would be like "I think, I think, I think, I think I thiiiiiiinkkkk etc.

Thats over. Then I would have rituals, so I couldn't wear the colour red because it resembled a volcano (lava) which i was terrerfied off.

Grade 5 camp I was so homesick that I had to do certain things just to make sure my family wasn't going to die. Returning home was the happiest time ever.



Im in year 9 now (15) and most of my compulsions have gone, I no longer need to do rituals etc. But now i obsess and worry over heeeeaps of things. Last year I was so afraid of being gay. The worry would come and go, one week im scared, next week im fine, next week im scared etc.


Last year I watched a few Dexter episodes in bed at night. I was fine, I went to sleep had a nightmare. Then started getting worried if I was physco, gonna be Dexter. That left, and it comes and goes every so often until it went away for a few months.

Last saturday I was terribly sick with a stomach bug, was watching T.V and a crime show came up with "Most evil" the segment was about a guy that killed his Wife and Mom and went on a killing spree with guns.

Suddenly my heart soared and no kidding for 2 days my hear was pounding.

Then when I would have brief moments of relief or feeling better, I was scared that I had just accepted my insanity and become evil etc.
Even now, im still scared ill be a physco and though I think this is OCD im scared that its OCD with physcoticness or what not. I purposley avoid crime shows just to I dont freak out.
 
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LockieKermit

Well-known member
Is it normal for OCD to come and go, for example. At school or around large groups of people I get fear but just chilling at the computer at home reading the forums I feel alot calmer. Is that normal?
 
Hellhound

Hellhound

Super Moderator
That sounds like OCD... I don't think you will go psycho, You'll probably get a lot of fears and thoughts like those you mention, and you will be anxious, but you won't go psycho. Anyway, you should see a professional someday.. just to make sure what you have and if you can do any treatment...
 
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chained

1
well as melissahp said.. exposure therapy is good for example washing hands.. but I think it can also work in ur case.. for example...if ur afraid u will kill someone.. go to ur mother, or someone close.. hug her.. and u will see nothing will happen...and if ur worried of being psycho ur not, cuz crazy people would never admit themselves being crazy.. so always remeber that.. and with the things u can.. try exposing, of course a doctor is neccessary...good luck:D
 
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LockieKermit

Well-known member
Thanks for the support. Just knowing it's OCD makes the symtoms and thoughts drasticly less. I believe im also in the early stages, so im tackling my anxiety by putting myself in social/close situations before its to late.

Im also going to see a psychologist or a psychiatryst (bad spelling) next week.
 
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LockieKermit

Well-known member
Yep, OCD sucks. Self doubt, what if, anxiety, the whole lot. But we have it and thats that. There's nothing we can do about it now except look forward and hope for the best. Prey to god if you believe. (like me)

Like I have said on another post, the human mind is capable of anything if we put our minds to it. People with OCD have the same feelings and fears as everyone els except worse. If we can get over these fears, what does that make us?
Heroes.

Not for everyone els but ourselves.
 
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