New extreme anxiety inducing situation has cropped up :(

[xtina_fan81]

last year i was living with 4 other girls. 3 of which i got on with fine despite how shy and quiet i was they were really nice to me and treated me as any other. The fourth did not, but the problem is shes stll really good friends with the others and its one of their birthdays next week and this girl be coming so ill have to see her again...i mean i had severe anxiety last year after the first few months cos we just didnt see eye to eye and with me and my inferiority complex i was always the one who felt really anxious about it. I didnt act any different way to her than the other girls last year but like a lot of people she just clearly couldnt cope with how quiet i was and was just a bitch about it. just little things but really unnecessary. I mean there was never any proper confrontation like she would never tell me she had a problem with me because she knows she had nothing to go on or nothing id done wrong as such, she was just on her own little mission to feel better about herself by trying to make me feel bad - her actions said loud and clear. She would just pretend to whisper and laugh with one of the others who was in the room, like really pathetic and childish but it still made me feel like crying at the time idk if she saw my weakness and played on it but It was just awkward as hell. A few weeks after we moved out of the house she deleted me on fb and we havent spoke since. Im actually not feeling too bad because really, itll be MY friends birthday too, I deserve to go out have a good time just as much as she does I just really dont want to be crippled with any anxiety on the day/night. Because as much as i know shes just not worth it and im the bigger person for not trying to put someone down, i KNOW when it comes to it im gonna be really anxious and just dont want to see her. any advice would be welcome

 

[shredman]

It sounds like you have it all sorted really. You say that you are in the right. You have done nothing wrong and this other girl sounds like a real Bi*ch. A party on its own is hard enough but having to deal with this girl being there would be even harder. I think the thing would be to try and control the negative thoughts that run through your mind. Focus on the fact that you have every right to be there. I know it will be hard but if you avoid the party you will let her win. In these situations I use some form of CBT... sometimes I write little notes that remind me of all the positives and keep that in my pocket. I pull it out and read it whenever my thoughts start to drift.
If you go to the party and face your fear, in my book you are a serious warrior! And you dont even have to land a punch on her (as good as that may feel ) Just kidding about the punching part

 

[Nanita]

I´m afraid I dont have advice. But I can tell u I know what its like, there is one woman that I sometimes see, because she is friends with someone I am close to. Being near this woman makes me very uncomfortable, I am not able to relax at all when I have to be around her... I have had several disagreements and misunderstandings with her. I always have a hard time trying to come up with subjects to talk about with her. Sometimes when I said "hello" to her, she didn´t even reply hello!......... wtf...?!
I dont know WHY it has to be so difficult with some people.
I try to create as much distance to her now, because I am done trying to make it work.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, if she's trying to make you feel miserable, then don't give her the pleasure of seeing you miserable. Even if you feel completely destroyed on the inside, don't show it; you could try smiling or just being stoic. If you don't fall for her traps, eventually, she'll give up on you since nothing she's doing to you is working. You could also try confronting her and asking her what her problem is with you. Either way, you've done nothing wrong, so don't feel so bad, okay? At the birthday, just try to avoid her as much as you can. If confrontation is inevitable, then keep things cordial and sweet, but, other than that, just don't talk to her and stay with your friends. You're there to celebrate and have fun, not to settle the score with an enemy, so enjoy it as much as you can.