Nervous around guys?

[Let_It_Go]

I've never really had any guy friends or boyfriends and if there is a guy anywhere near me i just mess up or go silent and make a fool out of myself. I've seen good looking guys before and wanted to talk to them and never so i never seen them again...i'm just so nervous/shy around them. Even eye contact is difficult for me..any advice?​

 

[jus]

Look into "demonic confidance" course on the internet.
Its kinda intended for guys in your situation (i.e nervous around girls)
or just people who need extra confidance talking to anyone realy. But yeah will work for guys or girls.

Each day you go out and do some 'challange', like day 1, go upto 20 random girls (or guys in your case) and ask them the time or something simple like that.

It works realy realy well in building up your confidence with speaking to people of the opposite sex, or just people in general.

 

[Feathers]

Hi Let_It_Go! Welcome!

Are you a guy or a girl? Maybe this could help us answer better.. I've been afraid of guys too, especially handsome ones, even if they were interested in me, sometimes..
Eye contact is something you can learn.. There are things in books and articles you can learn.. For guys, there are also workshops or courses like jus said, not sure if for girls too There are books for girls too..

And it's also good to just get to know some guys, like here on the forum.. I was shocked to talk and joke with some, and later discovered they were handsome, haha.. I would never dare to talk to some of them iRL or here if I knew how handsome they were haha..
But it helped me to then talk to some guys in RL too - now I don't think they are just 'arrogant' I think 'hey what if they are really shy like the cool guys on spw'?
I have to force myself but I have been able to talk to some guys.. it's easier to start with younger/older/kids/relatives... I also force myself to give genuine compliments and talk to people here (without expecting anything, just 'practice'), even if I'm sometimes scared to do so, haha..

Also, when I had a bf or was dating, I wasn't nervous around guys.. or when I was going out a lot with friends, like partying, dancing etc. (at first I was very nervous, but you get used to it) or my life was busy with other things..
There are different things you can do... Some topics in the Shyness sub-forum were very helpful to read too..

 

[Let_It_Go]

@Feathers


I'm a girl and thanks for answering, very helpful

 

[Liam17]

Just be yourself, i know it's hard but the worst that can happen is they reject you or summit. If so there not worth it, and move on.

It might hurt, or you might score.

 

[Felgen]

I've never really had any guy friends or boyfriends and if there is a guy anywhere near me i just mess up or go silent and make a fool out of myself. I've seen good looking guys before and wanted to talk to them and never so i never seen them again...i'm just so nervous/shy around them. Even eye contact is difficult for me..any advice?​

Something tells me you're very young. This is the cliche of all cliches, but your situation will improve. I've seen countless examples of this in the real life.

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm a girl and I get pretty nervous around guys too. So you're not the only one. I've had a few guy friends in the past, and still have one, but it still doesn't really help me much when it comes to talking to guys I like. I still end up nervous around them and/or acting like a total idiot. I know this is much easier said than done, and even I find this difficult, but just be yourself.

 

[Feathers]

Hey Let_It_Go!

You can change your profile so it says you are female, otherwise people can get confused on the forums
Yeah, how old are you? Approximately.. Teens or early twenties? I was totally scared of guys at a point in my teens, and it got easier with time.. As you get to know they are humans too..

This is a book that was helpful for me in dating: The Rules (you can google it). Some hate it and it's a bit controversial, some of that stuff really works though, and makes a girl calmer. (I don't totally agree with some of it, but in general it's kinda helpful.) See if your library maybe has it..

There was a good article about eye contact that I read in a magazine, I'll see if I can maybe scan it.. It was really helpful to me.. (Though The Rules book says to leave it to the guy to initiate eye contact so hmm?)

Older people who are retired will be very happy to chat with you, and your can 'practice' on the postman and the bank assistant and everyone around..
It's not something that you can magically snap your fingers and it will magically be solved, it's a process...

Also, with the right person/s, you'll feel (more) at ease... It really depends who you are talking to, not all guys are the same.. Some will really try to make you feel at ease, some will be a bit more brave than you, some even shyer.. It really depends.. Like girls are different, so are guys..

If a guy really likes you, he'll try to initiate contact and talk to you.. or make you notice him somehow.. (maybe not all of them, but some of them will..) And even if you are shy, some guys will like that too.. Basically whoever you are, there are some guys who like that... If you are having a good time, they like that too - so maybe you could try to figure out: where are you happy and at ease, and there are guys too? (I saw that on poetry readings or such, or parties with good music, where I knew some people, I could be more relaxed.. I would be too nervous in a shop too, haha.. especially if there's a line of people in front and behind..) These things are very individual, try to figure some places where it could be easier.. Or maybe you could go with a female friend or cousin, and meet people more easily? Go slowly and take time to go 'step by step' and get to know the guys well first too!

 

[Let_It_Go]

Hey

Thanks for the answers everyone

^.^ I'm a girl and in my teens

 

[Felgen]

Hey

Thanks for the answers everyone

^.^ I'm a girl and in my teens

If you're in your teens, then don't worry. In high school, people don't usually date outside their own cliques.

 

[Liam17]

I couldn't give a **** when I'm around guys. I used to be really shy and rubbish at conversation, now I'll just talk sh*t, and if they think I'm strange or whatever, f*ck them. They'll just have to get the f*ck over it.

You F*ck*ng tell them how it's done katie

 

[StupidWiz]

I couldn't give a **** when I'm around guys. I used to be really shy and rubbish at conversation, now I'll just talk sh*t, and if they think I'm strange or whatever, f*ck them. They'll just have to get the f*ck over it.

You go girl!

 

[Feathers]

yup, in high school it's pretty normal to be nervous everybody is still learning...
some just hide it better I think, or have brothers/cousins/neighbours/friends they've grown up with, so they may be more at ease around guys.. ask or observe more 'popular'/outgoing girls, and most of them probably have a brother or close male relative.. You can ask them how they get along with them or such, some of them just take'em as 'brothers' and see guys are 'just guys'..

It's good to start learning and getting to know people though, yup..
if you don't have interesting guys in your clique or near surrounding, maybe you can 'widen your network' - join a club or volunteer or even a church group or girlscouts/boyscouts or a music choir/band or something, where there are mixed people.. depends on your interests and what's available locally.. or you could even start something new..
so you can meet people as friends/acquaintances first and get to know them better, so it's easier to talk to them, and then maybe sparks will fly too..

It's actually good to not date so much as a teen, there are many unwanted teen pregnancies and many people who start going steady as teens break up.. so actually you're not missing out on so much as it may seem right now.. (I thought I was missing out on soo much too lol!) You will still have plenty of opportunities to meet guys when you go to college/university or start working.. and it will be easier when you and they are a little older and know better what you and they want in life.. many guys in your age range are still looking to discover who they are and what they want... some very few do stay together from high school so if you're that lucky, it could happen too..

Katie, umm, watch your language a bit? haha.. Glad you're brave, any tips for others how to be more brave?